3 Weddings --------------> NO PARENTS ATTENDED !

by Rabbit 17 Replies latest social family

  • Rabbit

    Just a few weeks ago I was trying to console Bryan, whose JW daughter had informed him -- he was not welcome at her wedding. I told him this has happened twice to me already...http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/79259/1287354/post.ashx#1287354 (sorry the link doesn't seem to work, you may have to copy n' paste it)

    Well, I just found out...all my kids are now married. The youngest daughter just got married -- a week ago...

    And I just found out...

    Then to make it worse (for our children) my X-wife...who is truly the finest Jehovah's Witness she has ever met...except for her mother, of course...did not go to the wedding ! This makes the 3rd wedding of our children where NO PARENTS attended ! With me, I of course was not welcome, but, if I had been invited...I would have been there for them, on what is supposed to be their happiest day.

    Their mother CHOSE NOT TO ATTEND. Why ? Either the spouses were not Witnesses or not good Witnesses !

    So...I tried my best to 'act' as tho' I was not hurt in any way. I shook hands with my new son-in-law, who I met for the first time, heartily and truthfully wished them the best for their future lives together. They did look happy.

    My X had her quick, fleeting joy of watching my shocked face when told the news, but, knowing her so well, I could see 'something' was not quite right...Mama was not truly 'happy' with something...later I found out about her not going. I don't know what the story is, except I know he was/is somehow associated with JW's.

    Although I did a fine job of 'acting' not hurt...I was and am hurt very deeply. I am not DF or DA, not yet anyway. You see, the Elders acknowledged my X had no scriptural grounds for divorce or separation, there was no adultry...so neither one of us could re-marry -- without commiting adultry in the process. I lasted five years before starting to date, then about a year ago -- I did remarry anyway to a great lady who blessedly has never been a JW. Now, half my family who are JW's have been un-officially shunning the both of us. Not one of them came to our wedding, including my kids. I guess I am "MARKED" !

    I was hoping to give away at least ONE of my daughters...*sigh*

    Even tho' I am happily married, I am sometimes, so painfully lonely. I miss my kids so much. I have missed out on so many things in their lives in the last several very long years. And it looks like a very long road ahead, before ...well, who knows what will happen.

    Some 'good news'...all of my kids now have gone against their mothers wishes and married "out-of-the-Truth," 2 of them no longer attend meetings and the last one...just turned 18, moved out and got married. Two of them still have almost nothing to do with me, they are still under intense pressure from their mother, the oldest and have have a good relationship again despite that.

    All the dynamics are changing. All I can do is show -- no matter how much shit is thrown at me, I love my kids, I tell them anytime I can get a chance, I will Never Surrender to this hideous excuse for a Christian religion.

    Like Bryan, I hope someday our daughters will see with eyes that are their own... * sigh *

  • avishai
    All the dynamics are changing. All I can do is show -- no matter how much shit is thrown at me, I love my kids, I tell them anytime I can get a chance, I will Never Surrender to this hideous excuse for a Christian religion.

    Damn. You are one helluva good father. I would throw a much bigger shit-fit. Then blame it on meds. If my ex was interfering w/ my ability to be around my kids....I would need to be physically restrained.

  • Rabbit

    Meds...? When I was still together with her and struggling to be a better JW...(I was failing miserably) I tried to commit suicide. I went on meds for major depression. My X told my kids I was spiritually sick and unstable -- evidenced by my overdose, then finally, "...your Dad is demonized, must be...how else could he do that?"

    She really told them that...

  • avishai

    Nowadays the dark ages mentality of the JW's when it comes to blaming "demons" would be laughable if it were'nt so damn sad

  • under74

    "...your Dad is demonized, must be...how else could he do that?" My parents said that about my grandmother after she committed suicide (a trusted elder told her to stop taking he medication). Anyway, I'm sorry for you Rabbit but I wouldn't give up on them...my mom believed all that shit and she came around eventually.

  • detective

    Man. It just never quits, does it? A cult's work is never done.

    I'm sorry for your heartbreak. I hope you can continue to look forward to the positive relationships you will have with your children in the future. No, not the pet-the-tiger post-armageddon fantasy future... the reality based future where people grow... and outgrow cult influences. It can happen. And when it does, it'll be so sweet.

    Thinking of you.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Tales like yours make me realise just how lucky I have been. If I had ever been baptised I am sure I would have found myself in a similar position. I attended, and participated, in all of my JW children's weddings even though I never signed up for paradise.

    You have my deepest sympathy.


  • Gretchen956

    Rabbit, don't give up, my brother had a similar situation with his daughter, his ex kept her away from him for about 20 years and fed her lies about how evil he is/was. It was only after she grew up, married, and the marriage failed and she got a divorce that she realized that perhaps her parents marriage could fail and it not be because one was evil. She is also out of the cult now, and has come around and is working slowly through the issues. She still, unfortunately, won't listen to any criticism of her mother, but they at least have a relationship.

    As to the demonized thing, my mom told my brother the same thing about me. I think sometimes that they believe that it is the only way we could not believe! Its hilarious, really. The ones IN mind control thinking that the ones that escape are under mind control.

    Hang in there, things can change, be ready!


  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda

    Posts like this really get me angry.

    I run a bunch of bs through my mind, and then I remember that I chose the road of self discovery - somthing our JW family is afraid of.

    For you parents that are denied even attending a child's wedding the hurt must run deep. My heart truthfully goes out to all.

    as for demons...of course, it must be that. How ridiculous.

    When my brother was at the tender age of 5, my mother came home from her personal book study with the "knowledge" that the woman's husband was demonized because he was having seizures. No medical reason why, don't ya know, just those nasty, pesty demons.

    Anyhow, because my brother had eaten a carrot at their home earlier that evening, he really thought he too would become demonized. This from an innocent child that needed reassurance- not more fear. That story always comes to mind because years later I wonder how it is a loving parent can help instill such idiotic nonsense into a child's mind.

    If ever there was/is a dysfunction religion it has too be the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I missed having a father. It's great that any of you decide to make that major shift in your person. My father died a pitiful alcoholic he had been his entire life. But...ya know what, I found forgiveness towards him faster then I did my JW mom. Strange.

    Hang in there, guys.

    GL of the "Ain't gonna let JW's ruin my day" class.

  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda
    WTHell is going o

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