Slip of the tongue and other embarrassments
One time, I was waitressing at a tourist restaurant on the beach. This woman at on of my tables (visiting from NYC, of course) was so rude to me, ordering me around and snapping her fingers to get my attention like I was her dog or something. As I approached her table with a fresh pot of coffee, she gestured imperiously for me to come over. Thinking she wanted yet another warm-up, I asked her, "Would you like a bit more?" only it came out "Would you like more, bitch?". I tried to tell her my English was not so good, but she wasn't buying it.
LOL ... actually the one that come into my mind is something that happen while talking with on of my colleague from work
He called me at home, he was a kind of "passive agressive" kind of personne (all in the back - and always smiling) ... and instead of saying I don't even remember what word (I just didn't think about saying something like that at that moment, but just thought it LOUD) I said "Connard" (asshole) ... LOL ... a silence followed it (me thinking did I say IT or what ?) but as the silence were getting longer I realised that I did ... and said ... "ben ça c'est claire au moins" (Well at least it's clear) ... and we both laught on the phone ...
I had to introduce a scientific speaker at some sort of event for work. When I was speaking, for some reason my mind went into the "introduce the public talk speaker" mode. So I said something like, now lets give our attention to brother...err I mean Dr X. At least I did not start off with a song and prayer.
In a Q & A session during the service meeting, a german sister (who was an X-nazi youth) was aksed from the platform what were some ways to reduce the noise level during meetings. Instead of saying, "turn your cellphone to vibrate" she said "turn your vibrator to silent".
I have a very good one. One time someone gave a talk I really loved, and so I said to him afterwards:
I really loved your presentration.
And I said to myself, how in the world did I mispronounce that word? So I tried to correct myself and ended up saying it again! Why in world was I blundering such an easy word. Later on that day, when I told the story to a friend, it hit me. Oh, I was so embarrassed!
Oh, and I remember in the late 1980s, we were having a book study with the Creation book, and an elderly sister was giving a "secondary" comment -- that is, not the first comment which basically regurgitates the content of the paragraph but a following comment that is a little bit more impromptu. She wanted to talk about the beauty of God's creation through all his creatures and organisms, but she said something like "We can see the beauty of God in all his orgasms".
Never did I hear laughter so loud at the book study.
well, I was'nt embarressed but there was one brother on a bookstudy telling us over, and over, that women are "weaker" in a way that we (women) had to be glad that there are men to help us.
Men - the crown of Gods creation
and because he kept telling us, I asked him if it was'nt true that "when God closed a door, he opened a window" like blind men mostly have a fabulous hearing and so?
Well yes, ofcourse, what was my point ?
and I stated that since we were weaker, we probably got better brains ......
He could'nt appreciate it - the other women did.
I was riding a bus when coming off furlough from the service, wearing my Marine uniform and just looking for someone of the female persuasion visit with when this downright gorgeous girl sat next to me - that sort of thing never happened to me. So, somehow the conversation got steered onto the subject of local water supplies. I informed her quite seriously that I was suspicious of local water supplies and "all the little orgasms" swimming around in it. We both laughed, and she knew what was really on my mind.
I remember telling my boss: "Ofcourse, I don't know how long I will work for you"
and he told me: "As long as I live"
and I answered: "then I hope you will live a hundred years and after that, we will stuff you up" (it just popped out)
(Since he used to be a hunter and had lots of stuffed animals in his house and in the office)
He was looking a bit peculiar but I am still working for him.
I didn't hear this one, but my nephew who was at Bethel told us this prayer one:
"Please forgive us our falling shorts" (instead of "forgive us where we fall short")
The best one was a dear, older brother giving a talk at the CA on Babylon the Great, was drawing comparisons to what great cities of the world are known for and he said "Paris is known for the Leaning Tower of Eiffel" We were backstage at the time, (we were in the next part) and had a hard time keeping our laughter under control.