Said in public prayer: "Thank you, Jehovah, for the many blessings we receive through your earthly channel." = "Who needs Jesus anyway?"
"Here brother territory overseer, I am through with this territory." = "I found this in the bottom of my purse where its been for three months."
"Using my new tablet to show people JW. Org is so effective!" = "Thank God I don't have to think and listen to people say anything any more."
"The spiritual food has never been better!" = "It makes no sense to me so it must be spiritual."