I was 11 when she died. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 4 and all I mainly remember of her for the next 7 years is of her being in and out of hospitals. At the age of 7 I could already explain the difference between radiotherapy versus chemotherapy.
I seem to have coped better emotionally with her death than my sister has. She was 23 when our mum died. She is still emotionally attached to her and is still grieving, while I (maybe because I was younger at the time of mum's death) took the attitude of "ok, at least she's not sick anymore, so I'm going to appreciate my life and get on with living".
Sure I sometimes miss her, especially when I need a bit of older female advice, but realistically, I've lived more of my life without a mother than with one, so I'm used to it.
I was part of an email group for about three years named "Motherless" and there were quite a few women on there, including the list owner who had lost their mothers at a young age. The list owner is also an Ex-Dub. From what I could tell, alot of them had flashbacks and alot of their grieving as they got older. Most of them said they felt always a sense of loss that they couldn't quite define, especially those who lost their mothers when they were around 3-5 years of age. The list of others who had a similar loss really helped them to deal with it all.
No doubt you have read the book "Motherless Daughters". Both my sister and I have that book. I have read about half of it - I couldn't go any further. It unleashed a great tide of emotions for me, much that I had repressed for all those years.
{{{{{{{{{{{{RC}}}}}}}}} for starting this great thread
I do have that book! My daughter bought it for me approx 1 1/2 years ago for my birthday. And I have only made it 1/2 way through it also! It was VERY hard to get through it, and it has a sequel I may never make it to.
(((((Prisca))))) You're welcome! I hope it gets some dialog going about what I think is a very big reason alot of people even listen to the "untruth" in the first place!
