Did You EVER See Yourself Leaving This Religion??/ (page 2)

Wolfgirl

For most of my life, I never saw myself leaving. I'd shake my haid and tut to myself when people left, like any "good" JW does. But I experienced the same problem...do more, do more, do more. No matter how much I did, it was never enough; I was never happy, and no one ever accepted me. Towards the end, I stopped going to the meetings, or if I went, I only stayed for half. I started realising that I was enjoying myself NOT being there. Wasn't long before I stopped completely and left.

freedom96

Never really thought whether or not I would personally leave, as I just never gave it much attention. But, I never in a million years would have thought that my elder dad and zealous mom would leave. And they did, never to return. WOW. Still shocks me.

IT Support

Minimus,

Thanks for an interesting thread.

No, I'd always considered myself a rock-solid JW. A couple of things got me starting doubting: the child abuse scandal, reading Crisis of Conscience, WTs increasingly frantic begging for money, etc. I was only half-way through CoC when I knew I couldn't remain, though it took a further couple of years to actually do it

Building a strong network is the KEY to getting out successfully and never returning. I think many have gone back to the Witnesses because of loneliness--since all their "friends" and "family" refuse to acknowledge their existence.

One of the objections my wife raises is Who would the children associate with if we all left? It is true that the kids in our local KH are great and all get on well together, they are all 'best freinds.' Frankly, it's a valid point and I don't yet have an answer.

Any suggestions from those who have been in a similar position would be helpful.

Regards,

Ken

minimus

IT, you start with slowly integrating your kids with the "world". Before you know it, they'll be making new friends and you won't have to worry about (bad) association.

Wallflower

One of the objections my wife raises is Who would the children associate with if we all left?

Ken,

I can only comment as being one of those Witness kids, but never lucky enough to see my parents leave. Kids are stronger than you think and are resourceful. They generally have a good network of acquaintances thru school and the local neighbourhood, as well as the hall. That is why it is easier for the youth to fade and leave the religion than their older parents, who have no outside social network.

Plus, if your strong parents and have a loving, honest relationship with your kids they'll follow you anywhere.

Good luck

Si

Evesapple

This is a great thread. I was just talking about that with my best friend 2 days ago, we grew up together since we were babies...she left 1st and then I followed 5 years later. I told her I can't believe I'm out, and how great it is, I cannot even imagine myself ever having been a witness or ever, ever going back to that. I can relate to most people on here...I was one who kept doing more, even after having a baby, it was so strongly encouraged to keep pioneering..."pioneer babies" they'd call the little ones dragged out in field service. I was so strongly linked and bonded to the friends in the hall I could never imagine leaving...never even toyed with the idea, I just couldn't understand how others could and miss out on this wonderful association in "spiritual paradise"....yeah I was waaaay off.......I can't believe I thought that way. I realise now, how very unhappy I really was, and I just thought it was because I had to do more.

As far as good association vs. bad association.....raise your kids with good values, regardless of what your religeon is....they will meet good people in the world. My daughter is now 14 and in high school and has a great group of diverse friendships.....she stays away from kids that smoke and drink, because she wants more from her future, that's how I've been raising her to think. She has choices that she needs to be responsible for. The witnesses make you believe it's all rotten on the outside, and the kids in the world have nothing to offer.....it's just another way too keep their fold in control.

I shudder to think of going back there, and it saddens me to think that so many are still in there and actually wholeheartedly believe what their taught....I hope they one day wake up.

Odrade

Ken, if you allow your kids to get involved with after-school activities, and pick their own elective interests in school, join clubs or do sports, they should have no trouble making additional friends.

Sure it will be hard on them if they are cut off by their Witness friends, but by doing those other activities they will make friends with similar interests (other than being a grunt for the WTS) and some of those "worldly" friends will be around for them their entire lives.

It never fails to amaze me how many people have friends they have been close to since their school days. Years and years. I only have one friend from when I was a teenager. All my JW friends are still JWs or they are out but guilt-ridden cause they don't have information and still think the WTS is the "truth." They wouldn't have anything to do with me. But I have normal friends who introduce me to their friends by saying, "this is so and so, we've been friends since we were six."

The society will make you think you can't make true friends outside of the organization. Now, we all know that's not true for us... but on some level I'm wondering if you might be holding on to something telling you that it might be true for your kids. It seems your wife certainly is. I wish you all the best of luck, and I think if you encourage the kids to make other friends, at school or in special interest settings, they'll take that ball and run with it. I wish I'd have had that opportunity.

Odrade

btw, in answer to min's question: NO, I never thought I would leave the JWs.

minimus

If we could believe we were the ONLY ones to have the truth, why would we ever want to leave Nirvana?

Narkissos

I saw myself leaving when I was a teenager, just one year or so after I was baptized (13 y.o.). I loved what I was learning in school, had some good friends there... I became "inactive" for a few months and began to question almost everything in WT teachings.

But I collapsed on the way. One night in the KH I burst into tears, thinking I could not live my whole life without "God". So I decided to choose "Jehovah" and reject "the world", renouncing a big half of myself. From then on I tried hard to escape my own shadow. Left high school at 16, became a pioneer and Bethelite. Almost forgot my own questions and doubts in the process.

During the following 10 years I never thought of leaving. But I often thought (dreamt?) of being on the other side of the door and asking some questions I was (un-)fortunately never asked in the preaching work.

Then, in the least previsible place (Bethel), I gradually came to a different idea of God. Then I knew I was leaving, painful as it was.

minimus

Funny how being in "The house of God, Bethel" will not prevent you from leaving the "truth".

Did You EVER See Yourself Leaving This Religion??/

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