15 years ago, I would've never thought I'd leave "the truth". Now, I wonder how I could've stayed on so long.
Did You EVER See Yourself Leaving This Religion??/
by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
I stayed too long. Came back after being inactive to try one more time. I had ample proof by the time I left the second time. I still hang onto my spirituality though however it is defined.
Blondie
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pc
I always saw myself leaving. I loved the "world" to much. After fading I realized what I loved so much was just called "LIVING".
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Nosferatu
I was incredibly confused. I felt really trapped. I thought it was the truth, but I couldn't see myself having the perfect JW family. I didn't want encouragement to go out in field service from my submissive wife. I couldn't see myself encouraging my children to take a stand at school. I hated the meetings, but I loved "the truth".
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Doubtfully Yours
I've seen myself leaving since the mid-90s. I'm building strong network of friends and non-JW relatives for when the time comes. Soooooooooon!!!
DY
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undercover
Once upon a time, when I was active and trying to be the best darn JW I knew how (read; at my most self-denied), I really couldn't understand how people could allow themselves to "fade-away" or get in trouble and lose contact with the organization. I had a good friend who was constantly in trouble with the elders. DF'd twice, reinstated twice, but always pushing the limits of what was acceptable. I looked at "weak" ones and wondered how could they face the rest of us when they came to the hall once every couple of months. I couldn't fathom being "out" looking in and being miserable as I had assumed that all "weak" ones were.
Now that I am out and I see the hypocrisy and the lies, I wonder, "How did I ever fall for this? What kept me in this mess for so long? Why wasn't I strong-willed enough to realize that I was being had?"
Going back to my earlier statement about being in self-denial, I equate my most devout period as a JW with my period of being the most in self-denial. As a kid and teenager, I wasn't serious about being a JW, but did just enough to stay under the radar. I led a double life in school. Later, I became an MS and married, but still was flying under the radar to not attract attention to certain things.
But just a couple of years before I finally admitted to myself something wasn't right, I really tried to put the "kingdom" (read organziation) first. Aux. Pioneered. Evening witnessing. Saturday and Sunday field service. Gatherings with the friends to study. Actually read the Bible and pulbications every night. Studied and prepared for meetings.
It was then that I realized that something wasn't right. I was doing all that I could and puttin on the new personality and keeping away from the world and its influences. But it wasn't enough. The more I did, the more they expected. The more I did, the happier I wasn't. The more I did, the more that the doubts that I refused to give voice to when I was "weaker" began to surface more often.
It wasn't long before I started searching outside of the "official" publications to find answers.
It wasn't long before I realized that I had been wrong my whole life.
It wasn't long before I quit being a Jehovah's Witness. -
minimus
Building a strong network is the KEY to getting out successfully and never returning. I think many have gone back to the Witnesses because of loneliness--since all their "friends" and "family" refuse to acknowledge their existence.
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minimus
Undercover, it's interesting that you gave it your best shot to make it work but you got discouraged instead. The "do more" JW philosophy eventually buries some of the best performers. Stupid Watchtower.
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undercover
I think that's the case with a lot of people min. They try really hard and get discouraged because it's not working out the way the WTS said it would. So they figure it's their own fault some how. So they trudge through life hoping they are doing enough to gain God's favor, fearing Armageddon instead of welcoming it.
Every once in a while, someone wakes up and says, "Hey, this isn't right. Let me look into this." It isn't long before they realize the lies and deceit that have been handed down for generations.
Then there's the group who really don't pay attention to anything about anything. They just go along with what ever is said by the org and don't study, or question or anything. Those are the ones who will defend the WTS, because they don't have the capability to use their own power of reason anymore. -
confusedjw
I NEVER saw myself leaving.