How does one forgive ??? PLEASE, I really need your help, PLEASE ???

by run dont walk 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow

    Seen Bill and Hillary lately? They are ecstaticly happy, like kids in love again. They are always hand in hand or arm in arm and looking lovingly at each other these days. Their love just glows. Their secret? Lots of love, patience and couples counseling. If Hill can forgive Bill, there is lots of hope for you.

  • Navigator

    it was not unusual for the situation to heal and the bond re-built and the relationship became stronger than before the rift.

    Excellent point! It is possible to become "stronger at the broken places".

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    my sister cheated on her husband, even though he said he forgave her and tried to work on their relationship, he would ultimatly throw it in her face everytime an argument erupted. the problem is that you can try and put it behind you, but it might still always be there in the back of your mind, and you would both be miserable.

    thats what im afraid of, the next time we fight, oh boy.

    If you are both willing to work on your relationship, you should seek couseling together, its really the best way to solve your problems by getting them out on the table and facing them.

    We are, session 1 is on oct 25, should be interesting

    just know that its not all your fault.

    i'm having a hard time, not blaming myself

    Hugs to you!!!!!
  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to tell you. The only thing I can suggest is to seek professional help, both of you together, because this situation is too tough to try to handle on your own.

    we are seeking professional help, and i will say "tough" is an understatement. lol

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    Most of the folks I know that divorced their spouses because of marital infidelity wished later that they hadn't.

    wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Your sister in law is participating in a natural tendency that all humans have of projecting guilt onto someone else.

    Actually, shes just a b-tch, always wants to see everyone suffer, and tell them how good she's doing. Never liked her

    There is a line in Richard Bach's book Illusions that may be helpful. It goes "there is no problem that comes to us without bearing a blessing in its hands. We seek the problems because we need the blessings." In your own words you said "I guess I never realized how much I loved her". Is that not a blessing? While you are not responsible for your wife's action, you are responsible for how you react to it.

    I am dealing with this, very slowly

    There are two ways to forgive. One is to choose to overlook an imagined wrong that was done to you. The problem with that method is that it is always there lurking in the back of your mind and tends to come out under stress.

    my biggest concern

    The other way is to come to the realization that the "inner you", the immortal you, the real you is untouched by anything that has happened in this insane illusion we call life on earth. I know this is advanced metaphysics but it does work. Major problems are what cause us to examine the path we are on and to make corrections.

    well said

    God Bless you both!
    thanks !!!!!!!! I needed that.
  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    Now I have invested 7 years with my loving husband and if it happened now I would not be able to walk away so easily either.

    15 years together, i should walk away, but its tough, and i can't

    Nobody deserves to be betrayed like that. I don't believe there is any excuse for that kind of behavior, I don't care what the situation is. If your not happy with your partner then leave and then find someone else. Don't cheat.

    Im going to have her read this ^^^^^^^

    I hope you get the drinking under control as that will only lead to depression and more problems. I hope you're going to be ok. It's going to be very hard but you can do it. I know you can. I feel for ya.

    well, its not serious, a 6 pack used to last me a month, now it lasts a day or two, i just drinking a little to relax myself and concentrate, if that makes any sense.

    thanks , lol

  • justhuman

    You just don't think about it

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