When & How Did You Get The JW ULTIMATUM?

by Corvin 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin

    Flyinhighnow's recent post about the nephew and his ultimatum email got me to thinking . . .

    When and how did you get the ultimatum (to come back to Jehovah or lose my love and friendship/association) and from whom?


  • Country_Woman

    not yet

  • Snapdragon

    My first was when I was 16 and had decided to be on prom court with my worldly boy friend. (Real boyfriends and girlfriends get to go on dates, and kiss....) The elders were all in a tizzy because I, supported by my parental units, chose not to follow their advice. The good 'ole boys were very "disappointed". (Can't you even hear the tone of voice used?) The young pioneer who was studying with me was talked to by them. She informed me later that week that she could no longer study or associate with me if I was going to be on the prom court.

    WHAT? That one hit me out of the blue.

    My second was when I was 17 and the elders decided to remove me and publicly announce me as a bad association. I had chosen on several occasions not to follow their instructions and I was setting a bad example for the other youth. My only choice at getting my friends/congregation back was to cut off all ties with my boy friend and work more diligently towards baptism.

    Pah. It didn't take me too long to figure out who really cared for me, and wanted me around.

    So I guess I was lucky, my only ultimatums came from the elders. Thank GOD I never got baptised!


  • hillbilly

    hahaha-- the only ultimatum that was ever considered was ME telling the last ones to speak seriously with me about "hova issues to GET OFF MY ASS before SOMEBODY GETS SHOT.

    Hillbilly ( I DF'ed the bastards class)

  • onacruse
    When and how did you get the ultimatum (to come back to Jehovah or lose my love and friendship/association) and from whom?

    When I was DFd, and a year later, my (still JW, and now remarried) ex-wife of 17 years said, literally, "Get out, and I mean now!." End of a discussion that never happened.

    btw, that ultimatum was given to me as my adopted son, the son of her prior JW husband (an adoption that she pushed and fully approved), sat alongside her and stared in dismay and fear as she gave me that categorical directive.

    So many life-stories of the same kind. Damn that pathological religion.

    Corvin: I, and so many of us, feel your pain.



  • Corvin


  • MonkeyPrincess

    I get the ultimatum weekly, not kidding either. My parents and younger sister are still very strong jw's and tell me that they will not be able to speak to me any longer unless i make attempts to be reinstated. Then they will call me a week later and ask me to come over and bring my son (the ONLY grandchild and nephew). I realize they only want me over so they can see their grandson, but its nice when i get to go over and its like old times. But, a few days after the visit, i get the call again with a blow out of arguments about how i am a terrible person, playing with my son's life.. yada yada yada, you get the picture. Anyhow, thats what my life is like these days, well for the past year to tell you the truth, i am actually looking forward to my parents finally telling me that im not welcome over anymore so that i dont have to deal with these head games. We just had our blow out on wednesday, so it looks like i will be invited over again next week, yup.. looking forward to that!

  • Corvin

    Not many have responded to this thread, and I certainly do thank all those who did.

    This is sort of an important matter, one that cuts right to heart of the manipulation, threats, control and abuse of the organization through its own members. It is truly a sadistic and cruel practice. Your experiences are ever so important and can help others, especially the young ones.


  • Nancy Drake
    Nancy Drake

    When I was thinking about leaving the truth, my dad told me that I was putting his eldership in jeopardy. He had already been forced to resign when my brother was disfellowshipped 10 years earlier and it took him several years to climb back up the ladder. When I told him I didn't care, he tried to bribe me. He said he had a large sum of money that he had been saving for me in a secret account that was for my "JW" wedding. But if I left him then I wouldn't get it.

    I laughed at him and left, though I was so hurt that he was more worried about his position in the congregation than losing his daughter forever.

  • ozziepost

    I never did - I just walked.

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