You Will Know By The Love They Have Among Themselves

by Corvin 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Corvin

    The organization of Jehovah's Witnesses boasts of having true brotherly love for one another. I always believed they did, although I never felt it growing up in it. I reckoned that there was something wrong with me since I never felt that "joy" and "spirit of love" that supposedly permeated the congregations. I just could never get the hang of "loving" another person they way they all seemed to. But is was all I ever knew, therefore, I accepted it.

    IN reality, true expressions of love, i.e., actions, that should accompany the love one professes were infrequent, and a bit contrived and superficial as I recall. My recent journey has lead me to cast back as it were to my own JW upbringing and adulthood to recall so many of the things I had long since pushed deep down. "Love" is not contained in the foremost memories I hold, but hatred instead. I recall so much hate and predjudice. I witnessed so much hypocrisy and intolerance. And now, more deliberate evil and wickedness than I ever could have imagined. The outright lies and cover-ups astound me. The rush to silence me by my exwife, her husband and others in their congregation has been striking. They cannot silence me, but they are trying damn hard. Let them. They are wasting their time trying to shut my mouth. They would do better to cover their asses in some other way instead because I intend to light'em up.

    My God! It's like seeing the face of an angel turn swiftly into that of an contemptuous demon. It as if the veil has been lifted from the faces of these "loving" people to reveal what or who really controls them.

    This is my own experience, however. What have you experienced? Anything similar? Or is your objection only based on their false teachings?



  • wednesday

    I believe that the majority of JWS leave the org. just for that reason- the lack of love. My mother told me many years ago, that "JWS are not good with illness or any kind of trouble". If u are not male or a pioneer or have money or position, u are really of no value to them. So if u become ill, old, or have problems, or happen to be female without a husband or protector, u will soon find out how much love there really is.They will discard u like yesterday's newspaper. They spend so much time recruiting people , but not any time nuturing these people.

    I recall once a bro coming up to me and saying "I do not know why u come to the KH, no one wants anything to do with u". I just looked at him , too shocked to speak, and walked off. I then wondered "why do i come to the KH?" Eventually i ran out of reasons, and just stopped. it was a big relief.

    What I remember from my youth is we were judgmental and only loveing to those we felt deserved it. I recall saying once"Why do these seat warmers come to the Memorial? do they really think they will get life by doing this"

    Such is the arrogance of JWS.

  • FlyingHighNow

    I left because of the lack of love. The effects of that lack of love were disaterous for our family. None of us will ever be the same. My children have grown into young adults now. They will always be scarred by what the WTBTS did to our family.

  • Nocturne

    The only "love" that JWs know about is the Love Bombing they use on the new recruits or on weak ones. Right before I left, the elders that I had a chat with said that if I would come back, they would make sure that more attention was paid towards me, and that prehaps people in the congregation had neglected that.

  • Gretchen956

    Having been a third generation witness, I did not experience the "love bombing" thing. My only experience as a child was isolation. My dad was "weak" hence we had no association within the congregation. We were not allowed association outside it. There were only rare occurrences throughout my time where I ever experienced that love.

    Once an older couple knew that my sister and I would not be able to afford to go to an assembly, they arranged for a place for us to stay and paid for the whole thing. We were able to ride over with another couple from the congregation. They were an amazing couple and stand out in my mind as true generous human beings. They are the only ones I can think of from all the congregations I have been involved in.

    I too left because of the lack of love. The gossiping and lying were overwhelming, the lack of compassion, the spite. Just amazing.


  • LittleToe

    Ultimately they are very human.

    The teachings and control exacerbate certain negative personality disorders, but I dont doubt you'll find people like that who have never been connected with a cult.
    Although some individuals were just plain mean (even nasty, in some cases), I can't find it in my heart to feel anything by pity, for the majority of them. It's the WTS that holds them bondage

  • Annanias

    I think that what bothered me the most was the competition. Someone told me that once, a long time ago, there used to be "tote" boards in the KHs that publicly displayed everybody's FS score, but then somebody decidided to take them down. But the principle remained. What got me was the "Warholesque" slant to showing love. We had a sister in our congo that was destitute, she had 2 boys in their mid teens. One child was incorrigible,and the other was so-so. Any how, this poor sister was over weight and not exactly the face of an angel. Anyhow, this sister was starving to death, although she made as many meetings as she could, was really trying, but the congo didn't even see she existed. What was embarrassing to me was that this sister was being kept alive by the charity of her landlady who was not a witness. The statements about field service being a "witness" to the nations suddenly started to get so very big cracks in it for me.

    So me, in a fit of "Christian love" took the poor sister and her so-so son into my house. They stayed with us for a little over a year. (The so-so son actually began to turn around, and today I understand he is a somewhat upstanding citizen.) Now, what do you suppose the congo did, said, thought about this insanity? (Yeah, like on this board I need to ask that.) Of course, I was "marked" for this questionable action of taking in (cue the sinister organ music) a single sister under my roof! Although not one word was ever said to me about it in a manly, face to face way. (I started to wonder if the reason elder's wives always had big purses was to have enough room for their husbands' genitallia.) But that's not what pissed me off.

    One of the reasons that I had taken this sister into my house was because it was going to be a practical exercise to my own children in showing love. This was to show what giving out of your need rather than your excess was all about. Now, I didn't really expect laurel wreaths or a ticker-tape parade, after all, I a fairly ugly, cantakerous fart when you get right down to it; but, the lying SOBs never said a word to my children. My children had elected to lose some of their own freedom, some of their own space in order to help another human being. These "elders" would just praise up a storm the 30 hours a month the oxen would do, and how the pioneers were the "backbone" of the congo giving a witness to the world in showing love for neighbor and blah, blah, blah. But not one person (and trust me, the knowledge of what we had done had circled the congo in msecs) bothered to say one thing to any of my children, who were expressing their love 24x7.

    Now, here's a question: what kind of reaction do you think would have been forthcomming if there had been a slot on those f*cking, hypocritical "publisher" cards that was labeled 'Hours spent helping a brother or sister'?

    wedensday is absolutely right about nurturing.

  • kwintestal

    When I made my descion to leave the JW's, and talked to my wife about it. This was one of the issues I had. I remember growing up as a kid a guy in our hall, was an absolute prick. He treated everyone like they weren't worth his time. Yet, when the CO showed up, he had a big smile on, stood at the front door, shook everyone's hand. I couldn't help but think, "What a hypocryte!" This went on for a few years and sure enough he got his promotion. That's the love I learned from the JW's. Show love enough to get ahead in the org. Sure, there were individuals that did have a genuine love for others, but as a whole, that wasn't the norm. But I guess, what can you expect? That's the path that was laid in front of them by their parents. They've been programmed to follow that path, at all costs. They're taught a "doom and gloom" outlook on life, and heck, you don't want to get too close to someone and show them love, just in case they're evil in disguise, right? So they put on their "happy face" at the hall, and move up in the corp. After all, the dead end job that they were programmed to go after, doesn't really have many options to move ahead. Maybe a promo to chief bottle washer, but that's it.


  • Jahna

    Like Corvin I spent many sleepless nights in tears wondering, what?s wrong with me. I analyzed myself and prayed harder, worked harder and still, the love that was suppose to be there, wasn?t. I was first told, ?it?s the congregation? it appears I failed to have the right last name. This congregation was devolved due to ?lack of progress? and we were switched. It remained the same. The only time I got invited out was to parties where you have to buy something, and the congregation picnics. We moved, and I thought, ok it will be better. It got worse.

    People were nice enough when new babies were on the way, but no one ever invited me out in field service, even when I was aux pio with young children. No one dropped in to see how I was doing, or hardly spoke to me at meetings unless they wanted my expertise in my secular field of work (my ex and I owned our own business and it was well known, we did not want to discuss business at the KH yet they still came up to us). We went out of our way to always have the CO come for dinner, invite younger couples and new couples over for dinner, we never got invited back, but they sure came over when we invited them. I tumbled into despair of ?Jehovah is telling me I don?t have his blessing, why bother.? So I left.

    Even today, years later my mother still tells me, ?many of those elders have since stepped down because of failing to shepard the flock,? ?they were afraid of your husband (now ex),? and ?things are different now.? Are they? You read of those heart warming stories in the magazines, in the books, and hear them over and over again from the platform, yet, when you look around, you fail to see it. My last weeks at meetings were me sitting in the mother?s room with my toddler crying, I just couldn?t stop. I blamed myself. Since I left, I have (at the bequest of my mother) gone to one day of the DC several years ago, I cried. I have also gone to a funeral of my new husband?s family at the KH, I cried. I have worked hard at stop blaming myself, but to see the broader picture. They want new blood, the old blood, well they can fend for themselves.

    There is love among the congregations, it?s few and far between. Some have a very giving spirit, but, as a whole, I don?t see the difference. For a group that defines themselves based on love, I found more concern from strangers online, who missed me chatting for a couple of days, then those who never missed me at meetings when I was a person who hell or high water never missed one before. Odd, strange, but true.


  • Corvin


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