"Worldy Girlfriend or JW Girlfriend... Help Me Choose" - ONE YEAR LATER.

by Confucious 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Confucious

    Just under a year ago, I started this thread...


    It was entitled, "Worldly Girlfriend or JW Girlfriend - Help Me Choose."

    In a nutshell, I was dating a "worldly" girl at the time. I was doing the fade.

    Then an opportunity came about to date an active JW girl.

    That was about ONE YEAR AGO.

    After reading Lady Lee's post about JW Dating, I decided to give an update...

    First of all, I did leave my "worldly" girlfriend. (and by the way, I find that term worldly offensive)

    I started to date this JW girlfriend.

    Pretty much it was a disaster...

    Let me explain.

    I knew this girl when I was a MS and a Pioneer. She's a very sweet girl.

    She knew about my problems with the elders and the stuff.

    She was really receptive to my point of view.

    She was also very respectful AT FIRST to me not going to meetings and all that.

    Really, her attitude did make me want to go to the meetings again. And I did so lightly.

    We were really good together. Great friend, etc.

    But the closer we got to being engaged, the more she started pressuring me to comform back to dub ways.

    One issue was my hair.

    I wear it long and I like it that way.

    She wanted me to cut it.

    The other thing, was she would pressure me about going to meetings and stuff.

    Quite frankly, I wouldn't mind being married to HER.

    But it would have to be a "I respect YOU and your views. You respect MINE and my views" type relationship.

    The closer we got to engagement, the more she pressured me.

    Not only that, we kept it a secret from the congregation all this time.

    I'm not DA or DF, but I'm not going to meetings. And it's pretty clear that I'm not comforming to their ways.

    Mostly because, as Paul said (I think it was Paul) - "As for me. I cannot stop speaking about the things saw and heard."

    Sorry. When I thought the "truth" was the truth. I shouted it out from rooftops as a Pioneer.

    When I find out the truth about the "truth." I will also shout it out from the rooftops.

    Anyway, it was a big dissapointment.

    I got to the point where I had her diamond ring picked out and sent to the jewler.

    It was a 2 carat heart shapped diamond ring and I had it designed and everything.

    Less than a week after I ordered it, I just broke off the whole relationship.

    I fully respect EVERYTHING she is doing in "the truth."

    I feel she has a pure heart and serving with a pure heart.

    But to question my faith and what I KNOW NOW??? Was too much.

    I told her that for me to go back to the Hall and play their games - you would think LESS of a man of me in the long run.

    It would be no different than me "Playing the Mormon" game if she was a Mormon and I knew 100 percent in my heart that their way is not the correct way.

    Sure, it would make things pretty on the outside. But what kind of person can't even be true about what he knows and FEELS is right about worship of God???

    Anyway, it was a major dissapointment in my life. Because the relationship DESERVED more than that.

    Well, since then, I've found someone new.

    She has NO TIES to the WT.

    She is incredibly pretty.

    She has incredible qualities. She's serious when she needs to be and fun.

    Most of all, I can be myself with her.


  • seeitallclearlynow

    I appreciated reading that, Confucious, and wow! I'm so happy for you in your new relationship.


  • red so deep
    red so deep

    that's awesome that you found a new love that doesn't have to take a backseat to the WT! congrats man...

    heh, that thing about the hair you talked about reminded me of myself...i like to wear my hair long too, but the good ol' elder father tries to put the smack down on it when it's worldly length is going to bring reproach on god's name.

  • avishai
    Most of all, I can be myself with her.

    Which can only happen with someone who loves you for you. And believes in you. Congrats, confucious.

  • Confucious

    Thank you guys.

    The posts mean a lot to me and I felt like I've grown up a lot in the past year.


  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!

    Congrats, and thanks for sharing, this story brought back memories, I love the way you thought it out and handled it.

  • franklin J
    franklin J


    I imagine that you would find communication with you NON JW girlfiend far more rewarding.....

    whatever would you have in common with a JW girlfiend? What could you possibly share together?

  • Nosferatu

    Thank you for sharing your experience!

    Most of all, I can be myself with her.

    I'm glad that you learned from your experience. This is the most important thing about being in a relationship. Changing yourself to make someone else happy will only lead you to misery. It's good to hear that you found a relationship where you won't be pressured to put your happiness in someone else's hands.

    Enjoy your new relationship!

  • desib77

    Congratulations on finding someone who accepts you for you.....I'm very happy for you.

  • Dolllie

    I don't think the your having "long hair" had sanything to do with her being a Witness??? Some women just don't like long hair...... women often want men to cut & change their hair "just because"

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