Do you feel you will always be "different" from the "world" ?

by LyinEyes 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • onacruse

    Dede, in the flotsam and jetsam of life, I seem to have lost your phone number (I think I wrote it down on the back of a credit card bill LOLOL). If you like, p/m me...Kate and I would dearly love to hear your southern accent.

    kes, thank you for not taking offense at my remarks. I do have a few questions that prey on me, so please indulge:

    May you have peace!

    That sounds a lot like what Shelby would say. Nice enough, indeed, but it proves nothing.

    If you wish to know, Craig, you will know.

    I've already, for the last 4 decades, put out to God my sincerest desire to "know," and yet my pleadings have gone unanswered. What does God expect from me?...sacrificing one of my children???

    There is much proof of what I have been given to speak. And I have been told that the proof that you will receive will not come from me.. it will come directly from Him.

    This sounds like JCanon...again, it proves nothing.

    You will have such proof and when you do receive it, the you may have great trouble reconciling it with what you did not wish to believe. It will be at that time that you will have to "give up" what you did not want to believe, because it will not help you.

    You seriously underestimate my abilities to incorporate new perspectives. Many dozens of folks on this board, including friends like Dede, have seen me evolve, step-by-step, as I've grappled with the perplexities of life.

    So, I submit that it isn't my ability to change, or absorb new ideas, that's the issue here. It's the reluctance/refusal of God to interact with me that cuts the edge; He/It has the choice, not me.

    This is all very relevant to the topic of this thread, because insofar as we "wait on revelation" to give meaning to our life, we thereby psychologically "disconnect" ourselves from the rest of humanity.


  • toreador

    Standing for the anthem still feels weird to me.

  • adrift

    Dede, Perhaps it is similar to what an immigrant to a new country feels like. Everything is unfamiliar at first and even though you eventually learn the language and customs you are always going to feel that you are different from a native born citizen.

    I still feel different after 19 years of being free of that religion. I'll never forget that I was a JW, its part of who I am, but with time its not an important part anymore. I sing Happy Birthday, the national anthem and Christmas carols totally without any feelings of guilt. Being a JW was my past, it is not my present or my future.

    I think it would help you if you didn't try to hide the fact from others that you were a JW. They'll be able to understand why you're the wierdo that you are (smiley face is supposed to go here but don't know how to add one). You'll be on your way to accepting yourself and your wierdness "differentness".

    Last year I finally bought a Christmas tree for the first time. I went into this really nice home decor store and declared to the clerk that I had once been a JW and this was my first tree. I had to ask her things that I am sure "normal" people know...Whether to put ornaments on first or string lights first or perhaps garlands. I didn't care that she probably thought I was strange. I had a good time laughing at myself and had fun picking out ornaments.

  • Dawn

    I don't feel different any longer. I did for years - but now I just feel like a normal person that had over-zealous religious parents. After attending a new church and meeting some people I found out that JW's aren't the only bible-bashing over-zealous group. A few of my new friends told me stories about their upbringing in strict religious households - sounded a lot like JW's (but without the DF'ing). Some couldn't wear makeup - some couldn't go to school dances, etc. That helped me out because I felt like maybe I wasn't the only one out in this world with the crazy religious background.

  • Dawn
    My JW upbringing was 30 years ago and I've never gotten over that feeling of being different. But I got a double whammy, because my dad was an unbeliever and so I was different within the congregation too. There was absolutely no place I could fit in. (still sorry for myself after all these years)

    I used to be so jealous of kids that had an unbelieving parent - there were some in our hall and they got to celebrate x-mas and birthdays because their dad insisted on it. Guess I didn't realize the other side of the story.

  • Rabbit


    Wow ,,,,,,,,,,Wow!!!!!!!! Ya'll really do understand exactly what I was trying to convey . Sometimes I type words wondering if anyone will grasp my feeble attempts at claryifying my emotions into words.......and Ya'll really do get exactly what I am saying!!!!!!!

    You are actually purdy good at expressing yourself, especially in 'hard to explain feeings.' You can do that much better than you give yourself credit for.

    I feel uncomfortable with the after-math of Hurricane JW, too. lol I grew up in a divided half knew the Truth © and the other half were bad, worldly people who were going to die soon at Armegedon. NOW...since I started fading, stopped going to meetings, etc. the dynamics of our family is changing -- dramatically. Old "Allies" in the Troof, now treat me as an 'enemy of the state'...a Benedict Arnold. Even tho' I am not DF/DA. I expect that good deed will not go un-punished. old 'enemies'... *sigh* of Jah, are now very awkwardly I might add...becoming my allies. They know I've registered to vote, they know my 'stand' on blood has changed. So on and so on...

    But, sometimes I feel like I am in a 'No Mans Land...' I'm sure as a Witness, I hurt the feelings of family members, that I wasn't allowed or encouraged to 'associate' with. They seem to be happy about my changes, but still 'stand-offish' (a word?) as tho' it may not last. I was talking to one of my non-JW siblings yesterday, trying to 'explain' the 'why' of some of the Witnesses' beliefs. I was trying to tell him what 'worldly' meant...he said, "Oh, I know that, I've been told to my face I was a bad person and was gonna die, because I was worldly." I asked him who said that ? He said it was one of our nieces when she was younger..."Who told you that?", he asked. "My Mom," she answered innocently.

    I was flabbergasted. This clearly hurt him...and this is just one story.

    In my personal life tho', there's been amazing changes (some of those pendulum swings, lol). I know I will never go back, I am trying to 'right' some wrongs I did as a Witness.

    On other things, I will stand to show respect for my country, I still feel like Gumby does about saying the Allegiance to the Flag, birthdays are OK, on Christmas, I have no objection to my 'never been a JW', new wife celebrating it, I have no enthusiasm over it.

    Hopefully, someday I will feel truly integrated into normal society.

    Here's to all of us struggling at our own pace, with our own past. Salut'

  • Lostreality


    but i'm getting there..with the help of one of the only people who love me....

  • myauntfanny


    Wasn't it horrible? I used to lie in bed at night and pray that god would make my mom leave the religion. Thank goodness it's over!

    Hi Dawn

    I used to be so jealous of kids that had an unbelieving parent - there were some in our hall and they got to celebrate x-mas and birthdays because their dad insisted on it. Guess I didn't realize the other side of the story.
    We didn't get to do any of the worldly stuff, because my mom totally dominated the scene. But we couldn't have afforded holidays anyway (can't blame JWs for that), so I think it was rather convenient for him. But there was an advantage to having an unbeliever father, which is that I got to grow up with skepticism right in the house. I think that made it very easy to separate from their beliefs, and was really a gift in general, in life. Thanks, dad!

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