Sometimes, as different things come up mostly with my children, I will have an initial gut reaction. Then, I stop myself and think "WAIT, is this a JW reaction" I really hate to admit it, after all these years, sometimes I do think some of my reactions come from JW thinking. But at least I stop myself and think about it, and try to re-direct myself.
Do You Still Think & Act Like A Witness??
I still enjoy having that satisfaction of having "answers" for everything. And in my head, when certain issues come I I find myself slipping back into "Auto Mode"- you know, hacking up a rote answer like a furball.
I don't. Years of token service prepared me for the state I'm now in. I do however think as one when my wife is around, as I don't wish to offend and make our situation worse then it already is. Since I've left, I've become much more understanding when it comes to people's differences, and now have many friends who before I wouldn't have let in my life because of their differences, people that I've grown to care about. For that I'm glad I don't think and act as a witness.
A lot of people would like to be able to not think and act like a Witness, but one of the things that holds them back from completely discarding their JW mindset is fear.
For those (like myself) who are presently still living with a JW family for the time being until they can get their finances arranged so they can make their escape, there?s the obvious fear of being ?found out? to be an apostate before their time has come to make a safe fade.
Even for those who have made it out of the JW religion (either by DA?ing themselves, being DF?d, or just a successful fade), depending on their own intrinsic beliefs and self-esteem, there?s still the fear that has been implanted in them for however long they have been in ?the troof.? That is, the fear of exposure and punishment for breaking the WT rules, the fear of rejection for not talking and acting with Christian ?maturity,? and, of course, the more sinister fear that?s been drummed into us: that we are not good enough if we don?t remain ?faithful? (to the WT).
Having said that, I believe that it is possible to rise above the JW mindset after realizing over time that there is no longer anyone looking over our shoulder with a ruler waiting to give us a wrap on the knuckles if we say ?gesundheit? when someone sneezes or ?happy birthday,? etc. Also, after realizing that if you could somehow have lived for over a century in ?the troof? you would have witnessed a plethora of failed prophecies and botched doctrines, it becomes more obvious that there is no sense living in the fear of damnation and execution à la Watchtower either.
However, the doctrines which have been pounded into us from the JW religion has had a significant impact on our psyche?an impact too significant to ignore completely. Much of the cult?s dogma, such as damnation for all except ?worthy? JWs, keep doing ever more, nobody can really ?measure up,? etc., is actually tantamount to an abuse?and like any other major abuse, it leaves a hole in one?s being not easily forgotten.
I myself still act and even think like a Witness when I have to, but after recently peeking at the mysterious ?person behind the curtain,? I no longer feel like one.
The important thing I have learned in recent weeks is that if you want to beat a JW, you have to start thinking like a JW. In other words, you have to consider what you would do in this situation if you were the JW fighting it out in court with an ex-JW. It is the only thing that will save your azz when it comes to custody battles. JW's lie so much that you must stay ahead of the game and anticipate what they are liable to say and do.
Otherwise, I think I have lost much of my JW-ness these days.
>.And as someone whom I once had a high opinion of so wisely said, once you call anyone a nazi you've lost the argument.
Yes, that is known as "Godwin's Law" on the Internet.
Yes, primarily because I have found nothing better.
But then, three weeks ago, I went to a public talk and WT meeting in levi's, athletic shoes, and a Pink Floyd T-shirt. It was great. The "bros" reactions were kinda funny. "So, you've just started studying then?" It was like a naturalist describe the common house cat: The housecat will show intense interest in something until it determines if it's going to eat him, or he can eat it, if both are 'no', the object is pretty much ignored. I don't know, does wearing a Wall TShirt to the sunday meeting constitute "acting like a witness"?
I still enjoy having that satisfaction of having "answers" for everything
That's called a Sexual Intellectual = a f'king know it all!
My 3rd ex husband said I had this need to be right all the time. I told him it was because I usually am.
You can take the Witness out of the boy but you can't take the boy out of the Witness.