BEW's ..........Irrational Thoughts

by LadyBug 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • LadyBug
    LadyBug

    Dear jezebel influence

    Thank you for your encouragement. You seem to be having a hard time yourself. Especially with your dreams. I'm sorry. I hope you too get through your anxieties. Many have posted some very encouraging words that we can take to heart. Best wishes to you.

    Cowboy

    Thank you for your concern, kind words and encouragement.

    "Mostly I just wanted to say that I admire both you and Bug Eye.Your posts have shown us kind,caring intelligent people-the sort of folks who'll weather the storm and come out stronger."

    Thank you, it means a great deal to us, that you feel like this.

    "never,ever lose faith in yourself." Timely advice thank .

    BEW

  • Marilyn
    Marilyn

    Hi Bew, I'd be happy to phone you any time for a chat. I'm in Melbourne and on Optus so I can call you thru the day for next to nothing. I think I'm quite a cheerful person and I've got a lot of experience - 20 good years after the WT. It might help to talk to someone. I've also got an exjw friend on the Sunshine Coast who was in all his life until a couple of years ago. He's 56 and coping quite well now. It sounds like you are a little bit depressed. Recognising this is good and then taking steps to deal with it. I highly recommend exercise. It beats drugs! But if you get too down, there are some great anti depressants that you can take for a few months and they kinda help your mind see things sensibly without panicking. When and if you feel like a chat, email me on [email protected]

    warm regards
    Marilyn

  • LadyBug
    LadyBug

    Thank you Marilyn, I have sent you an email. BEW

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    BEW,
    So glad you shared!! I know the feeling. Just had a long talk with my mother (still a very active witness) last week. And it panicked me. She used circular argumentation and other cult tactics. I think I am very well grounded with my attitude toward the Society. But sometimes, when you talk to a witness, it messes with your head. Thank God, I have Thinker to tell me I am not losing my mind. I am amazed that I didn't lose it in the thirty-eight odd years I was in. Many times I thought I was. Now in retrospect I know why. Because their lack of reasonableness is crazy, and when you are surrounded by it and you have some ability to think logically, you are very alone!!
    Keep your chin up, it does get better.
    Hugs,
    TW

  • Roamingfeline
    Roamingfeline

    ((((((((((((BEW))))))))))))))) What you are feeling is alot like what I felt at that stage of leaving the Borg. Time will help to get past all that. It's a natural reaction to leaving a cult.

    The hardest part for me was realizing how utterly "in the dark" I actually was while in that religion. You're so brainwashed, that you have to learn to live real life again, and it's like going from a baby to an adult. You don't know the steps anymore. A huge learning process, but well worth the pain and effort, believe me!

    RCat

  • esther
    esther

    BEW, as you know, I also left 3 months ago. I also had all the answers, but now only questions remain.

    You said

    Many times I feel like "ignorance is bliss". Even if wrong at least I had some beliefs as a witness.
    I also feel that way on occasion, because I feel as if I am adrift in an unknown ocean, and the anchor which had kept me safe for so long has been removed.

    However, I mostly feel that the pain will diminish, and hopefully fade right away. And although it is scary to be adrift, there is always the hope that when we have finally sorted out what we do or don't believe in, we will be happy.

    esther

  • somebody
    somebody

    LadyBug,

    I found the thread! I missed this or else I would have said something earlier. (the threads move down so fast now, that I miss a LOT of them!)

    I'm sorry for the toll this has all taken on you and your family. I can only try to imagine what it must be like. When I left the JWs, I was young too, so I consider myself fortunate that I could see it for what it was back then. I'll echo what people here have already said, that it takes time. Time sure does heal all wounds, even the wounds you feel right now. All your beliefs have been shattered. In time, you'll see that we don't have to know the answers to everything. And really, nobody knows what happens when we die, till we die. And then we can't share the answer with anyone! That kinda sucks, huh? Anyway...please just try to take one day at a time, and try not to be so hard on yourself for not knowing all the answers. For nobody knows all the answers anyway. You have support here. The inernet is a wonderful thing. I wish it were around when I was going through the same thing you are right now. Somehow, I got through it. But I'll repeat that it takes time. I didn't know if I belived there was a God for years. And i didn't understand what spirituality was for years either.

    Hang in there.

    peace,
    somebody

  • patio34
    patio34

    Hi Ladybug,

    Thanks for sharing on this db wih us. I left, escaped, ran out, in March of this year.

    I certainly understand how a lot of people feel with a complete turnaround in their lives. Talk about an identity crisis! I was a jw for 28 years.

    However, just to tell you my feelings on this, they have been the opposite. Everytime a I think 'i'm not a jw anymore' I get a little thrill of joy. I so appreciate the freedom to think for myself, pursue new information, and LIKE 'worldly' people.

    Granted, it's taking some time to make friends, but it's a wonderful journey. I often think on 'meeting' nites how wonderful it is not to drag myself out to somewhere I didn't want to go.

    Plus, on Sunday mornings, you'll find me at the beach with my grandkids.

    For me, it's been such a positive experience.

    Not that i'm disagreeing with you or saying you should feel this way. It's just letting you know how I feel.

    All the best,
    Pat

  • think41self
    think41self

    (((((((((Liz)))))))))))))

    Everyone has given you so much support and words of encouragement, there is not much for me to add.

    Just that I too felt that way once, and it passed, and it will for you too. It is scary to have your anchor removed, regardless if it was a false one or not. It is scary to have to think for yourself, and be responsible, maybe for the first time in your life, for where you are in life and where you are going. It is TERRIFYING!

    But I also agree with what Patio said, you should get to a point where it is no longer terrifying, and instead is LIBERATING, and then you realize that you are your own person, and you are worthy and capable...and you don't NEED anyone else to make you happy..just yourself. That, my dear sister, is the point at which you will be celebrating your freedom....and I will be celebrating with you!

    And if you could get your Aussie arse over here to America, we could do a proper celebration! wooohooo

    Luv ya sis,
    Tracy

  • LadyBug
    LadyBug

    (((((((((((thinkerswife Rcat Esther Somebody Pat Tracy)))))))))))))

    Thank you for your encouragement. Infact I want to thank everyone for their encouragement on this thread. This is a long haul and I know I will eventually find the light at the end of the tunnel. You have all be a terrific help to me.

    Tracy..I would love to get my Aussie arse over there. One day.

    luv ya's all

    LB

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