by spectromize 39 Replies latest social relationships
Why is it so hard to read what a woman is really thinking? And what are the no no's when trying to ask a woman for a date and how do you know a woman is interested in you?
I would really appreciate help, seems I lack in the right touch, tonight I was just told off by a cute lady, I honestly didn't recognized her and made the mistake of telling her so.
Why is it so hard to read what a woman is really thinking?
Dear spec, I know I shouldn't reveal this but we are thinking exactly what your thinking. Yes, that too.
no no's when trying to ask a woman for a date
A few tips: tryto look her in
the eyeswhile your talking to her. I know this is difficult-practice! When you are asking her out don't say-Hey, if you're not doing anything Friday night how about going to a movie with me? Instead try-I would like to take you
to dinner and a movie on Friday night-what's your
favorite restaurant? This will give you an idea of
what this is going to cost you in advance Never play it by ear. Always have definate plans for at least the first couple of dates 'till you get to know the person's likes and dislikes. There
is nothing on earth more tiresome than riding around in the car for an hour-where do you want to eat? Well I don't know, where ever you want to go. Then silence for about 15 minutes. Then, how about the Wolf's Den? No. I hate that place. Then you ride around for another half an hour listening
to music you think she likes but she actually hates but won't tell you. Then you look at your watch and notice that you only have a half hour if you want to make the 9:00 movie so you forget about dinner and go directly to the theater. Both of you are starved to death by now so you buy one of those large popcorns with butter leaking all out the bottom and 2 large drinks, some raisinettes that expired back in 1985 and some of those Ike and Mike jelly candies that you'll be picking out of your teeth for the next two days. Not bad for $50.00, huh? Then you find a seat and you end up holding all the stuff because of the greasy popcorn container-so you can't hold her hand or put your arm around her.About fifteen minutes into the movie it's nothing but sex and you are very uncomfortable because she's staring at you the whole time to see your reaction. You think this is just great but you don't want her to think you're a pervert so you sit there motionless almost catatonic trying to deaden therefore your body members. You have the internet
do some homework and choose the movie wisely. As the movie draws to a close you must concern yourself with-am I going to kiss her goodnight or not? You are so deep in thought that you can't see
everyone giving you strange looks because of the large grease stain on your pants looks like you-well, nevermind. You ask her if she would like to go for a sandwich or something and she says no, she just wants to go home. You're feeling pretty crappy about yourself about now and make some small talk but there's not much to talk about. You finally get to her place and walk her to the door, thank her for the lovely evening and turn to
walk away when she says wait. Much to your surprise she lays a kiss on you that curls your toes-not once but twice. Yes, women do that sometimes. She really likes you spec! Likes you for the sweet guy that you are. There is no such thing as the perfect date. Life is full of surprises. How do you know if a woman is interested in you? She went out with you, didn't she? As far as the cute lady that told you off, that's what we do sometimes too. Who can stay mad at a guy who wears camouflage underwear?
7
Seven, you're a star...that was brilliant ! lol
ROFLOL
Seven,
Thanks for the secret. Just makes it easier to get over my shyness. I have to tell you that there is such a big diffrence between American girls and Canadian. Canadian girls are a tough breed to get along, they can be real spoiled brats if they don't get their way. Of course not all of them are like that. I always found the American girls easy to talk with and fun to be with. I get a good chuckle listening to the accents depending the area you come from.
Hey Spec,
I honestly didn't recognized her and made the mistake of telling her so.
Hint #1, Don't be thathonest. Learn to cover your tracks a little better. Listen to any car salesman. They're masters of smooth.
Hint #2, From Eleanor Roosevelt, one of the smartest, homliest American women:
No one can intimidate you but yourself.
I used to suffer from terrible shyness at times. Big huge long red streaks would cover my neck and shoulders like a strange blush - but not pretty. No way to disquise it. Finally I learned to talk.
Like Seven said, learn to look 'em in the eye. Women do like that. Women like eyes.
Learn to tell short - funny - jokes. Not guy jokes. Get a good book on them. Women like witty, and they LOVE to dance. And they like men who are man enough to like to cook well.
My husband can't tell a joke worth a darn - but he can dance - and that covers a lot of sins......
Good luck - and enjoy your next date. Call the girl back up who you honestly didn't recognize and "cover your tracks" and say you were sick, early dementia, whatever - joke a little to get in the door - then use Seven's suggestions.
waiting
ps I've found a lot of people are shy - even when a shy person is speaking to another person - sometimes the other person is even more shy and insecure..... perhaps that woman is shy also?
I find it difficult to add much after reading Seven's excellent comments.
From another guy's perspective however I'll pass on a couple of things I have either learned, working on learning or have heard and not quite figured out how to apply yet.
First you ask:
Why is it so hard to read what a woman is really thinking?
Seven was quite right when she said the same as you. But also you must understand that just like us she may not fully understand herself what she is thinking so how could you? But just as a warning as time goes on you will be expected to!! (ducking for cover on that one)
And what are the no no's when trying to ask a woman for a date and how do you know a woman is interested in you?
No no's include: If you are going to give a compliment make it individualized and honest. Women have a radar for superficial "lines". Everyone loves compliments but women remember well thought out honest ones and more importantly the guys who give them.
Don't approach someone if they are with a group of three or more girlfriends. No matter how sweet or nice you are, you will get rejected. You are intruding on a girl's night out and will likely be the topic of conversation, giggling and laughter as you walk away. Not good for the ole ego!
If a woman says "no" be prepared with a good exit line that leaves both of you with dignity. Unless of course the gal is so bitchy about the rejection then a little "dark humour" is not out of line (well I didn't believe all my friends when they said you were a self absorbed brat, but hey I have been wrong before ...) but again such biting commentary should only be used if appropriate otherwise, be gracious and walk away.
If a girl gets upset that you don't remember her that is a pretty good sign that she remembered you!! And the ladies here are right that there is such a thing as being too honest! i.e. "Does this dress make me look fat?" NEVER NEVER NEVER say yes! LOL
As you are talking to a woman be aware of body language. A person interested in you and what you have to say will be facing you or leaning toward you slightly. A disinterested party will often form a "V" with your body and her's - basically keeping her periferal vision open to others going by. (This works both ways)
Last but not least. It is always better to ask and get a "no" then to never ask and wonder 'if only.' I had a roomate while at Bethel. he was absolutely in love with this sister that came in as a day worker. She was quite beautiful and very nice sweet personality and received a lot of attention. My roomate was rather shy and asked me to organize some social events and invite her along to be part of the group. Two things happened. One she thought I was interested because I invited her. (I told him he should do the inviting but noooo he wouldn't listen.) Then While my roomate was watching her from a far another guy came up introduced himself started talking and 14 months later married the girl..all while my roomate watched. He wasted of 18 months lusting after this girl and not once did he do anything about it. Wouldn't it have been much better jsut to ask her out? If she had of said no, he could have used those 18 months more productively. Bottom line "Ask, ask and keep on asking"
So with all this advice and dating 'pearls' of wisdom, why is Kismet still single at 36? hmmm that's a damn good question.
Kismet - who apologizes for answering a thread addressed to women but couldn't resist.
Spec, why dont you just read "Young people ask"...that'll tell you everything you need to know, wont it?.
Ok, But How to impress a woman?
Well first, i'd say for dinner...take her Mcdonalds, they serve great fries and its all pretty cheap and BTW make sure she pays for her half too....remember its equality they want these days.Dont eat in either, just go through the Drive thru....Second, you need entertainment, i advise you get 2 tickets to the hottest wrestling show round these days...wwf RAW IS WAR, man! woman love this stuff, its a sure winner ...especially when the ROCK shows up.Also, always remember, you can never drink enough beer on a date and always keep a spare slab of booze in the boot of your car just for emergencies.Finally, remember woman talk weird...they always say the opposite of what they mean, its very confusing i know...but they are weird creatures these women...So to sum up, just remember in womans talk "No" always means "yes"...follow these guide lines Spec and you shouldn't go too far wrong! goodluck!
how do you know a woman is interested in you?
Its in the eyes Spec...its just an undefinable vibe mate!
Zep, You are so sweet, in a Fred Flintstone sort of way. McDonald's? WWF? The Rock? Are you dating Xena, Warrior Princess? LOL And hey, I don't know about OZ but in the USA, no means no, and if you think otherwise-you'll be sitting there all weekend with an ice-pack on your groin! Why all the booze, it only numbs the senses. When you finally tire of the old hump 'em and dump 'em
routine I'm sure you'll find a lovely lady who you
worship and adore to be your life's companion. Lucky girl.7
Edited by - SevenofNine on 11 August 2000 11:28:39
Somehow, after all this I find I don't miss the dating scene at all.
