by kwintestal 41 Replies latest jw experiences
(Door Slams, wife wakes up)
Wife: Honey, its really early, have you been drinking? Are you okay? Is there something serious I should no about?
Elder Hubby: No dear, I was out chasing a couple of kids into a telephone pole at 2 am whom I disapproved of their association....
Wife: ...oh, okay...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
edit the above.. wife " ok hope it doesnt disrupt phone service so i can call and gossip about all this tommorow!" lol
Candidly,
Thanks for the addition, I knew something was missin'
You just experenced the spirtual police in action!!!!!!
wow
I'm shocked they actually chased u even though i shouldn't be there all crazy.
I remember my first time i got called from my friends place to see the elders because they saw me questioning my mom about the cult. They just tried to make me feel guilty being me i was too scard to tell the truth.But still being chased that crazy.
need for speed
I haven't laughed in a while so that bit from "The Lost Gospel" was real booster.
My Dad was involved in a botched stakeout. He was a MS at the time and was out with an elder. They were both spying out the home of a close family acquaintance hoping to catch her with a male visitor staying overnight...She left her Dub husband (who my Dad's friend) and he couldn't remarry until he had proof of her adultery...
Anyway my Dad and this elder were so obvious and even went through the trash to find something!!!She called my mom to tell her about it and said she didn't call the police only because she valued my Mom as a friend and good person. My sib and I would rib my Dad about his lousy stint as WT KGB agent for days afterward. My Dad was good natured about it...A rare thing...ahhh such memories :)
I have to share my elder chase story as well:
The witch hunt to disfellowship me started because I was the oldest JW among my friends (all of them were 1 or 2 years younger than me). Little did they know these other girls were actually a thousand times more immoral than me, having sex, drinking, drugs, etc.(The WORST thing I did was have a secret boyfriend now and then and mess around...The elders basically singled me out because I was the only one of my friends with a car and dubbed me the ring leader of the Slutty Girl Movement)
I moved out shortly after my parents found out I was friends with a "Worldly" boy and wanted me to call him to tell him I couldn't be his friend anymore unless he became a JW. I realized I could have called him and then called him later to tell him it was bull shiat, but it was the POINT. I was 18 years old and I wasn't having it. The last straw was when my parents went out of town and I didn't feel like going to the meeting while they were gone, so the elders rolled by my house and reported to my parents that I was MIA at the meeting when they came back from their trip. They had also been following my car on our lunch breaks from school to see if there were any "worldly" kids in the car
Once I moved out on my own and stopped going to meetings, the elders REALLY wanted to get rid of me. Now I had a house were all the Naughty Girls could congregate. Some of them were still allowed to come to my apartment although I wasn't attending meetings.
I stupidly started smoking around this time. The elders were tipped off that I was smoking by my boss who I thought was cool, but was actually a JW. (His wife would routinely have me remove Porn from his computer at work!!!!) Anyway, the elders would follow me around to try and catch me with a cigarrette! One time, I missed a shepherding call because I was called in to work. I called them to cancel the shepherding call, to their dismay. Wouldn't you know it, they sent an elder in to CHECK to my job to see if I had actually gone to work!!!!!
I had been telling the elders that I did smoke at one time, but that I had recently quit. I feigned repentance because I didn't want to be forbidden from talking to my parents and friends, but I don't think they bought it. Finally, one day they parked a block away from my house so I couldn't see them coming, and my dumb butt answered the door with a CIGARETTE IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!! I thought it was one of my friends. I almost peed my pants. It was too late anyway; they had come to disfellowship me.
I'm sure glad they did.
The elders were tipped off that I was smoking by my boss who I thought was cool, but was actually a JW.
I meant actually a JW rat
bloodhounds could learn from these ppl. the LAST i was DF'd i moved from arkansas to utah and they still tracked me down i'm not sure how the got the number cause it wasnt my number but it was ether my mother or my sister that gave it to them it was fun tho cause i got ta tell them ta piss off and never call me again i think your friend should sue the "Elders" for stalking them and file a police complaint that they were the cause of the accedent. glad your free now tho tim s
I had been telling the elders that I did smoke at one time, but that I had recently quit. I feigned repentance because I didn't want to be forbidden from talking to my parents and friends, but I don't think they bought it. Finally, one day they parked a block away from my house so I couldn't see them coming, and my dumb butt answered the door with a CIGARETTE IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!! I thought it was one of my friends. I almost peed my pants. It was too late anyway; they had come to disfellowship me.
You should have stubbed the ciggarette out on his forehead.
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Ignored One.
