if you were out of the cult and would want to have blood given to you, would you want them to honor your thinking on the matter and allow it to be given, or stick to their indoctrination of no blood?
I understand what you are saying. Fortunately JWs aren't taught to go against someone else's wishes with regards to blood/medical treatment. If, though, I chose to leave my medical care in their hands when I am sick, I must trust them, so I'd accept whatever they chose to do. The same is true if they left the decision-making up to me. My whole family knows how I feel and what I'd do.
If the relative has made it clearly known that they live by the JW rulebook, I can't see that whether they are on their deathbed or not, that one would feel it appropriate to go against their own personal wishes.
This applies to my previous comment. Their decision wouldn't be made for the right reason. They are following a cult's rules. I would never allow someone to deliberately hurt themselves because the cult says so. If they insisted on drinking poison laced Kool-aid for their cult, I'd stop them from doing that too. In both cases whether it's refusing blood or eating poison, they'd be harming themselves unnecessarily, and I couldn't stand by and watch them do that.
I'm dealing with a similar issue as regards to following my father's wishes in his will right now, and although siblilngs may like for me to disregard his thoughts, I can't do it.
Well you'd have to be more specific for me to comment on this.
