If you had to change one thing you did while being a JW, what would it be?

by MelbaToast 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    Having kids. I should have waited till i got out.

    All the beatings at the hand of their father that could have been saved.

    At least my youngest 2 were born out of the troof!

  • Fire Dragon
    Fire Dragon

    I would have stayed single.

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    only one ? not encouraging Viv to take a bible study........ (she asked me if I was allowing her to do so)

  • c5
    c5

    Hi!

    If I could go back and change things, I dont think I would . Because of the choices I made as a JW, it eventually led to where I am at now, freedom from them!

    But, if for fun I could go back and change something, I would have stood my ground and not attended the circuit assembly (winter/spring 1991). Because I attended the that assembly in 1991, I lost my job.

    The story is this: I worked at a local grocery store where a bunch of other jw's also worked. Since they all asked off the assembly ahead of me, I was not able to get an "ok" to take that Saturday off (incidently the busiest day of the week for the store). My boss told me I had to find a replacement if I was to go. So I asked everyone and thier mother if they would fill in for me. No one could since all the other jw's were obviously going where I was, and the "worldly" people who were lucky to have that Saturday off did not want to work it. I finally convinced an older lady to fill in for me, and even at that, she could only fill half my shift. I explained this to my boss, and he reluctantly gave me permission to make the switch. This was 2 weeks before the assembly.

    The day before the assembly, the lady calls me and tells me that she forgot she had a funeral to go to, and that she was sorry, but she could not fill in for me. I was mortified! I did not know what to do. My jw driven dogmatic conscience told me that under no circumstances could I miss a meeting or assembly. So, Saturday came and I went to the assembly.

    I came back to work on Wednesday (my next scheduled day) and my boss was furious! I explained that I could not miss my religious convention, but he was still very mad. He told me that because I did not show up, all the workers including him had to work extra that day and I had put them in a huge bind. I believe he was not exaggerating, we were understaffed as it was. All I could do was say I was sorry. He then told me that he wanted to fire me. Before he told me I was fired (I knew it was coming), I said I quit. So, I did lose my job.

    At the time I believed it was persecution, but as I look back now, it is apparent that I was very immature in assuming that I could just leave everyone at work in a hole while I went to the assembly. I can't remember if there was any law at the time saying one could not be fired for religious stuff, but to my boss it did not matter. I was too naive to know what to do anyway.

    The kicker was, I found out that my "replacement" lied to me, and that there was no funeral she went to that day. She just found an excuse to back out of working for me, leaving me in a bind.

    I would have made different choices in that situation if I could change anything. I also would have started to stand up for myself more back then as well.

  • micheal
    micheal

    I would have married a different woman.

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    Thats a difficult thing to change your past because it would have such huge repercusions on where you are now (seen butterfly effect?) it's kind of the would you kill hitler question!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I would have rebelled against my parents more. I could have left sooner if I did that.

  • Jez
    Jez

    I would not have wasted years shunning my df'ed sister. Hate myself for that one.

    When my 23 year old boyfriend date-raped me at 16 then said we had to get married to 'right it before Jehovah....' wellll...I wish I had ran straight to my parents and told them the truth. All my JW life, I put God and his wants/needs before my own.

    Of course, not get pressured into getting baptised by my 23 year old boyfriend, so we could get married in a KH.

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    I wouldnt have gotten involved in a serious relationship with someone, when in the back of my head I knew I had doubts about the religion. In retrospect it was so unfair for me to let emotions get involved and end up hurting him the way I did. I've always been very very sorry about that.

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