I went to a funeral at a 1st Baptist church this past weekend. It was for the son of a former co-worker. Travis was 18 and was about to start his senior year in high school. He was a starter on the football team and was being courted by different colleges for scholarships. He had a bright future ahead of him. Last Monday morning, he and a friend were driving to the gym and hit a patch of water on the road (doing only 45 mph in a 40 mph zone), hydroplaned, flipped their pickup and both died of injuries.
I don't think I ever met Travis, but I worked with his mother for several years until she was let go due to reorganization a few months ago. Having children of my own, I know how precious children are and how much they mean to their parents. I'm not a big one for funerals, especially of people I never met. But knowing the mother, I felt the need to go, to let his mother know people care and try to ease some of her pain.
The services were held at the Baptist church. The church was 3 or 4 times larger than any Kingdom Hall I've ever seen and it was packed with family, church members, classmates, and friends of the family. Maybe the old JW in me took over, but I felt a need to count this crowd. I took a quick count by multiplying # of people in a pew by number of pews. I'd guess somewhere between 750 - 800 people were there. I don't think I've ever seen a JW funeral with more than 300 or 400 attending. But then again, I'm sure the circumstances had a lot to do with the crowd (being a popular high school kid, having a large family, attending a large church, and his mother spending years working for a large corporation). I've also been to 'worldy' funerals for older people where the turnout was comparable to a JW funeral.
The service itself had a lot of elements to help soothe the mourners. The lights were dimmed in the balcony. Soothing background music played beforehand. A touching video played, showing pictures of Travis from being a newborn to present day with inspirational music accompanying the slideshow. It was hard to keep a dry eye. Songs were sung. Friends and family talked about Travis and shared their hope of seeing him in Heaven. Their pastor (or whatever it is called by Baptists) spoke of why this can happen and be part of God's plan. He spoke of Travis's belief in Jesus. While some of it was a disguised sales pitch, it was still very moving and very comforting. Even the sales pitch was simple: Travis had Jesus. Don't get in your car and take the risk of death without accepting Jesus as well. It wasn't a particularly "Baptist" sales pitch. Just a Christian one.
I've been to various JW funerals, some with services at the funeral home, others with the service at the Kingdom Hall. I don't think any of them ever held a candle to the words of comfort I heard this past weekend.
Usually they start off telling some basic facts about the person. They don't go too far, because they don't want to praise the person, even though they're dead and won't get a big head about it and think themselves self-important.
Then they tell you that the person had the "HOPE" of a resurrection. Not that they were saved or that they were going to be resurrected, just that you hoped to be. Hey, I "hope" I win a billion dollars, but I don't expect to. Not much comfort to the mourners there. No being reassured that the deceased is going on to their hope. Not that any church can say for certain what happens after death and they could all be wrong. But to reassure fellow believers that the deceased is in that better place now is comforting. Of course there is a whole world of difference between the "accept Jesus and be saved" doctrine vs. the JW's and their Jewish-like "work, work, work, work and uphold the 'law' - and then maybe you'll be saved" doctrine. JW mourners are told that their relative is nothing more than worm-food and have no consciousness. How comforting! And then maybe, someday, God will bring them back, if they don't have too many strikes against them (like missing meetings and field service while battling cancer). Of course the message to JWs is that there are no guarantees with God. Do what the Society tells you to so that when you die, you boost your chances of a resurrection.
Then the JWs go on to justify this "hope" of a resurrection and explain why they believe in that, criss-crossing the Bible from old testament to new, to pluck scriptures out of context to support this belief. All of this is spoken in a respectful and very boring tone. Nobody is moved and 90% of the audience is already JW. They already believe this crap and are getting very bored by now. The despair on their faces has nothing to do with the pain of their loss anymore, it has to do with the speaker going on and on.
Finally, the invitation is presented to come to a Kingdom Hall. I don't remember if it's common, but I think meeting times are sometimes announced. Though the Baptist preacher did try to 'sell' religion, he only asked people that if they didn't have Jesus, to talk to somebody about that. He didn't tell them to come to this particular brand of religion or church and he did not announce the times of any church services. And he didn't try to tell you your religion was wrong. His message was believing in Jesus, no matter what religion. Now if you did go to talk to one of the people they had available, they might push the Baptist religion and give you the times for their services. But overall, they showed respect by keeping this stuff out of the service. I always felt embarassed when the JWs used their platform as a sales pitch. I thought it showed a lack of class and respect.