by minimus 47 Replies latest jw friends
Now this is an interesting question...
I was rather suprised when I stopped going to meetings how everyone stayed friends with me. It didn't matter unless you were DF'd or DA'd. I could have done anything, really.
I still have friends to this day in 'da troof'.
Shamus...that's because you're a likeable guy.
Did You Stay as a Witness Because You Needed a Social Life & "Friends"?
No. When I stopped attending meetings I "lost" both. I saw no point in being something I wasn't to gain the attention and approval of others. Plus, I began to realize the difference between friends and people you hang around with because of a core belief system.
alias
I didn't leave - I was tossed aside like a used tissue...!
My sister is still in - just - and she only really attends for the social aspects... and her closest friend only attends cos she's been threatened with 'disinheritance' if she leaves!! Free will ???? Yeah Right!!!
Bull!
Yes, that is probably why I remained a Witness. I had a great social life with a lot of friends. I knew the friendship was conditional so although it was unpleasant when 99% of them dumped me, it wasn't a shock. It sounds like I was all the things everyone else here despised, upper crust, spiritual aristocracy and the fun ms/elder. When I left I got a lot of calls from friends, letters, visits etc trying to persuade me to stay but personal honesty finally became more important than family and friends.
Of course, I still have a great social life and good friends albeit on a smaller scale, and I still have some fantastic friends who are JWs despite our very different viewpoints. Seems I've been pretty lucky.
The word that crops up for me is "conditional" while you are there doing the "right" thing people are happy to do stuff but when you leave they ditch you. I still keep in contact with a couple of old pals but they are hanging on by a thread, the reason? They have no friends outside and this seems to scare them somewhat. I joined a football team, which I should have done when I was younger (I couldn't though as training is tuesday and thursday night) and have made a good number of friends that way who like me because I am me and not because I go to meetings.
I also stayed because I didn't want to let my family down.
BM
No, I never stayed a JW for the social aspects. While after I was df'd, I missed some of my JW friends, the social aspects of the organization sucked big time. I have deeper and more meaningful relationships outside the org.
Corvin
I only stayed for family, had few friends. The only friend I cared about, till chats from time to time. Our kids go to the same school and are best friends.
The family thing is no longer and issue, the only family I would be lost without still talks to me every day, my sister. and both my parents left before I did.
The rest of the family I still love, but unless they accept me for who I am then I don't want them in my life.
I'm still "in" because (and only because) of my family. They are my Achille's heel (especially my child). That's why I personally prefer to fly under the radar. If not for them, I wouldn't give a rat's you-know-what about how the JW's feel about me; as I already have a social life that's quite satisfying for me. I am proud of the fact that I was smart enough and had foresight enough to develop meaningful outside relationships long ago. I did this despite "the counsel" and am glad for having done so. Those awful wicked worldly people have come to my rescue more than a few times; much quicker than the loving "spiritual family". My closest friends have NEVER been JW's. In JW life, your every move is interpreted and either elevates you or dooms you. The circle is small no matter where you are. Reminds me of Six degrees of separation...too much so. You can go to any cong. anywhere in the world; start talking and next thing you know, you'll meet somebody who knows somebody. The chatter starts and someone will recall you as being a fine brother/sister or a "problem". If you are mildly popular, this chatter somehow gets magically transmitted all throughout JW world. The phone is usually the weapon of choice. It's a pity that the natural human need for a Social Life and Friends is so craftily exploited religiously. A doggone shame.
...see how the JWs keep you in!
