She kept saying "it was your decision" and that you knew what you were doing. I remember having that attitude before, too. It's maybe the only way to make herself feel better about what she's doing, obviously she needs to convince herself she's right about this. Oh, well. We can hope that one day she will figure it all out.
So was this PMS or the influence of a new love?
by Bryan 23 Replies latest members private
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Xena
Wouldn't suprise me if the new love was putting some heat on her for associating with you. My sister's new hubby does the same to her whenever she spends time with me....which is very rare to begin with anyway. I'm pretty sure if he wasn't around she would be a lot more likely to hang out with me more....shame huh? Women dubs are taught to be followers not leaders
I am sorry for that letter, I can only imagine how I would feel if my daughter had sent it to me Your response was a lot kinder and more loving that mine probably would have been.
You and your wife, your good people....I hope she realizes one day what she is missing by not spending time with ya'll and makes some changes.
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franklin J
ah, Bryan
this post has made me feel awful. I have 2 daughters and they are my pride and joy. If one of them wrote me a letter like you recieved it would have caused the same reaction in me. It cuts deep and it hurts.
Your response was loving and supportive. I hope mine would have been the same. You did respond in the best way possible. I agree with Sironas post. Continue to be the loving father that you are. Your daughter will come out of this "affliction" sooner or later. If she had some debilitating disease ( like cancer or leukemia) you would be just as supportive. This affliction of the mind will hopefully pass soon.
The bottom line is that she is a hard line JW. You know that she is living a straight and narrow life; there is hope that she will outgrow the JW belief just as you did. There are many WORSE things a child can become. The mean things they say to us ( or write to us) in the interim on their way to adulthood do not count and is not held against them. You are her father and always will be; despite however many husbands she may have.
My heart and prayers are with you Bryan; good luck with this situation.
regards, Frank
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Balsam
Bryan.
I faced the same thing with my 13 year old son when I left his father and was disfellowshipped when I remarried. My son was calling me apostate because that is what his father wanted to here. I was extremely careful to say nothing negative of the WTS while my son visited every other weekend, and holidays. I did not include my son in the holidays because he said he did not want too. I told him I would take him to the meetings and drop him off if he wished to go. This went on for 2 1/2 years. My son being a minor had to visit me due to court visitation agreement. But I never pushed it. If he had a convention to attend on my weekend we would have him come the next weekend. But then one day something happened at the kingdom hall that caused my son to take a different perspective. Some of his buddies had been threatened with disfellowshipping for drinking beer at an Elders Grandsons house. The boys were minors. The Grandson was not even spoke to by the Elders but the boys were threatened and harassed, and it helped wake up my son.
Personally I think speaking against the organization to active witnesses is a sure way go end up cut off from them. Best to keep your own counsel until they see their way clear out of it. My son who is now 16 still lives with his JW Dad and new Step-Mom but has nothing to do with the witnesses. He is a large kid and his Dad does not have the physical strength to push the issue. My son don't want to leave his friends from school to move in with me. He stays at his disfellowshipped brothers house a great deal. My son has now read much information on the JW's and we can talk freely. He even enjoys holidays.
Hope your daughter has a change of heart. Perhaps telling her that never again will you speak against the organization to her she will at least continue her contact with you. I know a gal with three daughters who are still in it and living with their Dad, and she stopped talking against the WTS and the girls started wanting to spend more time with her. Now they are gradually doing more and more worldly things while with Mom. Boyfriends and all. The Girls are from 13 to 17. Kids will come out on their own if we just leave them alone. The more we talk against it the deeper I believe we drive them into it. Then they feel they must defend their faith. Her marrying a JW though is too bad. Just hope that the young man that she is interested in will take her out of it.
Ruth