by Bryan 23 Replies latest members private
I agree with Elsewhere
And by the way what a terrible terrible letter to send you. I can not believe a child could be so disrespectful to their parent. I can only imagine how yo must have felt reading that. SHAME on her. I dont have any advice to offer. I just wante dto say how shocked I am at her letter. I hope, in time, one day, her heart will be softened.
And you were asking me all kinds of questions to try and disillusion me, and to make me have doubts in my head. Then you were showing me articles about it. And even though you were letting me go to the meetings and go out in field service, you still tried to make it hard, by things you said.
I say for good for you in giving it a good try. I would have given it a shot as well. It's not over.
Thanks everyone. I am taking everyone's remarks to heart.
Her original letter seemed a bit off. As though it were not her real feelings. A little history: She talks about her last vist with me and how she always got sick before coming to visit. Actually I asked that she come down for a long weekend, her last visit; I knew she was busy with her pioneering. She is the one that rescheduled and set it up for almost 10 days. Doesn't make sense.
Bryan
hi bryan,
I don't think there is much change in her stance from each letter/email. What I get from the email though is that she was trying to keep communication to a minimum, by quickly answering you question. I do get from it though that she still loves you dearly and will still have some contact with you.
Who knows eventually she may turn around all togehter. I reallly hope so, a daughter totally cutting out her father can only be destructive to her.
I think your letter to her was fantastic and if you continue to keep in contact with her this was you will eventualy win her over.
Lehaa.
My god it never fails to amaze me how cookie cutter letters like these are. (Granted the feelings and the people are not, but you'd swear there was a form book on how to cut out your loved ones).
They always quote at least one scripture, or a passage from the watchtower. They always insist on how they are doing this for themselves with no outside influence. (Which is bull!) They always make it clear that YOU made the choice...(the fact that they have choosen to cut you out is somehow less of an evil always).
It just slays me, how anyone could think a loving heavenly father would want a daughter to ignore her father and not allow him to come to her wedding, or meet her future husband.
I dunno what to say. It's frustrating. I think it's so shocking and horrifying every time I see posts like this tho, because I used to write letters JUST LIKE THOSE to my unbelieving family members. So I guess that is my only hope I can give you...I used to think that way too, but I don't anymore, and I realize that family is always more important than dogma. She is very young, there is still a chance she will rethink what she has said to you. She might realize her own role in this, and that it is her choice to end all this suffering...especially if you keep the loving communication open. You haven't shut her out.
Hang in there man...I was hurting just reading her letter to you, I can't imagine how that must have cut you.
She is the one that rescheduled and set it up for almost 10 days. Doesn't make sense.Bryan
Bryan, this is a good sign that it will be difficult for your daughter as she tries over the years to enforce this shunning. As she gets older and matures more, especially if she has children, she will miss having her father and her children's grandfather as part of her life.
When I first learned of the dfing policy, I was 17. I thought it was a good idea. Over the years I saw several mentally ill people and a pregnant teenager dfed. I saw my very repentant nephew dfed and his appeal denied. His first dfing was done hastily without the elders even saying a prayer before, during or after the meeting. It was very eye opening for me.
Hopefully your daughter will see with her heart and watch these tragic dfings and really think about how unjust and unfair they are. She will miss you. She will miss you being part of her life. You can count on that for at least some comfort for now.
Hugs and wishing her godspeed in figuring out that the whole damn WTBTS is a snare and a racket.
Flyin'
damn yo that sucks!!! i feel for you bro. her letter made me cry
Hummm, sounds like you and your daughter are very much alike. You are both trying to change one another, and of course there is going to be a stalemate, which has occured. Better to just accept that she is happy and let her live her life and make her own choices. She may be very content with her life at the present time; but she is still young and needs to experience more in living life. This is how we learn our greatest lessons.
Trying to change someone else just never works. We get way too frustrated trying to "say the right thing or do the right thing", while attempting to pull the rug out from under them. No wonder they bulk! No wonder they retreat to safety. She feels safe right now. That isn't a bad thing. If she ever has questions or doubts, she will come to you first if you aren't allienated.
/<
(((Bryan)))
What an awful letter to receive!!!
I think that since the communication lines are still open by email, why don't you try saying something like
"I've thought long and hard about your letter. I would love to see you because I love you, so how about if I agree not to talk about Jehovahs Witnesses when you see me? "
I know this sounds like you're giving in, but maybe she'll agree on those terms and you will at least see her....
Sirona
Senitel
Hummm, sounds like you and your daughter are very much alike. You are both trying to change one another
I have to disagree with you on that on. I have always told her my only hope is that she is happy, Witness or not. I always told her I would never judge her. I showed her the UN document only to inform her and to let her think. I have never suggested she leave the borg. I even told her if she wanted to move in with us we would make sure she got to her meetings. I did tell her though, that we would not support her financially while she pioneered. If she were to live with us she needed to go to college or any sort of school (including France) or get a job.
Sirona
"I've thought long and hard about your letter. I would love to see you because I love you, so how about if I agree not to talk about Jehovahs Witnesses when you see me? "
Not a bad idea Sirona. That one, I'll hold on to.
Thanks,
Bryan
