grrrrrrr...I am about to lose it..Re: My Parents

by Valis 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Valis
    Valis

    So...even before I left my parents arranged with the mother of my kids to fly her up and back and didn't tell me. I am about to blow my stack and am not very happy after getting off the phone. Gadget was nice enough to let me use the phone to call them and let them know I loved them and missed them. I get this info as a by the by...which pisses me off more, because it was being set up before I left home. I don't like being messed with and disrespected by my folks...I would rather go in debt than have them manipulate ANY part of my life. They don't respect my descisions as a parent, nor do they even contact me to find out what might be the best arrangements. I feel like I felt when I fisrt started posting and am very angry....tears and anger are not far behind, because I've just about had it with the lot of them...I'm trying very hard to keep my cool and not call them this evening and tell them to get stuffed! I had only called to tell the kiddies I loved them and I missed them and then this! Something that has been in the works even before I left...bah! titsed off isn't even the words for it...

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    (((((((((Travis)))))))))))) I am so sorry. Paren'ts always try to control and manipulate. Mine still do it and they are in their 90's. I am trying to learn a lesson here, and not do it to my kids.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    That really sucks. I hate it when things have been manipulated behind my back.

    Take a deeeeep breath, and give yourself some emotional space. When you've thought it all out, ACT, don't REACT.... you'll make better decisions.

    Double Edge

    P.S. FYI.... I enjoyed reading Little Toe's exposition on your travels.

  • gumby
    gumby
    They don't respect my descisions as a parent, nor do they even contact me to find out what might be the best arrangements

    Travis my bud.....your parents are dubs correct? Aside from the fact that parents can be this way anyway.....the fact you left the Organisation gives them reason to disrespect you even more.

    Wait till you cool down to call them. When you have cooled down......call them and tell them to keep the f*%k out of your life! (just kiddin). I would let them know how it made you feel and be firm about it.........although I'm sure you've done that before......do it again. Telling them to 'stuff it' won't change them anyway and you might regret harsh words like that down the road.

    Go mix yourself a strong one, smoke one, and cool off a bit

    Gumby

  • avishai
    avishai
    They don't respect my descisions as a parent, nor do they even contact me to find out what might be the best arrangements.

    Valis, I am so sorry.

    having worked with kids for years, I'm gonna tell you what any social worker or childcare worker would tell you. Never, ever let anyone around your kids alone who will not respect your wishes as a parent. It's detrimental to your children in the extreme to see their parents will subverted. Tell them from now on they have supervised visitation w/ their frandchildren. To be supervised by you or a person of YOUR choice. Period.

    Sorry for the hassle. I love ya man.

  • shamus
    shamus
    having worked with kids for years, I'm gonna tell you what any social worker or childcare worker would tell you. Never, ever let anyone around your kids alone who will not respect your wishes as a parent. It's detrimental to your children in the extreme to see their parents will subverted. Tell them from now on they have supervised visitation w/ their frandchildren. To be supervised by you or a person of YOUR choice. Period.

    Here here.

    They are toxic and will probably be that way till the day they die. (sorry)

    If things are as you say, maybe enough is enough. But only you can decide the right course of action. If your parents do not wish to play by your rules, then get some people in there that will enforce them while having a 'visit'. (at your parents expense, of course) I would tell them that maybe one day, when they can respect you as a human being, and listen to you, maybe the supervised visits can stop.

  • sunshineToo
    sunshineToo

    Hello, Valis!

    I am so sorry for what you are going through now, but please tell me more about your situation. I assume that you are divorced? Do you have a joint custody? How many children do you have? How old are they? What was the original arrangement with your ex-wife before she took the kids with her? How are your children feeling about your family being jws? Is your ex-wife a jw as well? When did you quit being a jw and why?

    Sheesh! I'm asking too many questions, huh? That kind of tells how much I don't know about you. If you need to vent, VENT!!!!

    sunshineToo

  • searcher
    searcher

    Travis my man,

    Deep Breath.

    Now giggle (in joke).

    Enjoy your vacation, there is nothing much you can do from here, then, when you get home, you will be relaxed and thinking, so as to deal with the situation in the appropriate manner, and only you can decide what that may be.

    Enjoy the UK, fix things when you get home.

    Steve.

  • xenawarrior
    xenawarrior

    I was going to type pretty much verbatim what searcher did- good advice search !! Especially the "giggle" part- LOL !! Those are much better tears anyway !!

    Enjoy your vacation Travis !!

    XW

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    Parents seem to think they "know best", especially if they are dubs.

    Act -- instead of react -- to their ignorance. You know too much to stoop to their level.

    You ain't District Overbeer for nuthin' bro!

    ESTEE

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