Should you change yourself for the person you are with?

by Sirius Dogma 42 Replies latest social relationships

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  Valis

  Well, everyone has bad behavior from time to time...except me of course.. Eheh...Anyway, you can change such behaviors towards someone you care for, much like you would change some behaviors in a social setting. Simple to me. Being polite and caring is different than modifying who you are. If you are terribly annoying in public, then most likely whoever decides to tollerate will not like the same things from you in person or alone. Everyone has idiosyncratic behavior, but if the person with you hasn't gotten past the "ambassador" to see how you are all the time, then they are either setting themselves up for a rough ride, or they can just deal with it and it is all good. Just be good to them as much and often as you can. Whoever THEM are...*LOL*

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  Preston

  I know I've changed for Mozzer when we started dating.

  Oh c'mon, any who are in dismay that andi changed aspects of her life to please Mozzer, let me assure you the majority of women on this site know he's a complete hottie, so any sacrifice on her part wasn't a big deal to begin with.

  I find it interesting that a lot of people talk about smoking on here. When I first started dating my husband I made him know that normally I would never date anyone who smoked, but as someone who wanted our relationship to last a long time and not have it end due to terminal health problems, I asked him to make a concerted effort to end his smoking. Was that wrong for me to ask him to change something in his life? Sometimes, You can accept a million things about a person and changing something for another person will still keep who you are. Likewise, I think its the same as asking a person to change if you know that the future of the relationship hinges on it. Whether you agree with my approach or not, In any event talking about it before you get yourself involved seriously I think is the kicker rather than waiting years down the road before finally deciding to make it an issue...
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  christopherrobin

  Change is good if you do it for yourself !!!

  Change is destructive the moment you do it for something else.

  I went back to college, because my girlfriend needed someone with the "right" credentials.

  I loved her and her daughter faithfully--no sex with other girls, even after 2 breakups lasting 5 mos. each.

  Within 6 mos. of my degree ( OH--I was working full time as well ), she told me --- "You are not doing enough for me and my daughter------OHHH!!!!-----Guess what ??? --- when I met her, she was 'bankrupt, doing drugs that could have cost her the JOB, HOME, CUSTODY, ----and I LOVED HER UNCONDITIONALLY------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DURING THE TIME I KNEW HER, SHE WEN'T FROM STRUGGLING TEACHER TO EDUCATION ADMIN.----DURING THE TIME I KNEW HER---AND GAVE HER EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL SUPPORT !!!!!!!!

  I GUESS POETIC JUSTICE PREVAILS !!!!

  She has been dating for 1-1/2 yrs. , and still is looking for MR. Perfect !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  IF YOU ARE A GOOD WOMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--- MEN WILL LINE UP TO TAKE CARE OF YOU IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP !!!!!!