Most here remember that my mother died after her heart surgery on June 17th. She has four grown children, and we are very close now as always and feeling like we are now "orphans", without both our parents in this physical life.
The KH in Bradenton gave her a Memorial on Monday evening, July 5th. My brother was the only one of the children to attend. We three sisters were actively being shunned, so we jointly decided not to travel the very long distances.
My brother took care of everything, which was agreed upon. Mom always remained connected to him to the very end. He had to go through all her personal things, which were mostly just remembrances, as she had moved in with her dear sister and had gotten rid of so much. But still, he and his wife had to go through and box all her clothes, etc. He said it was the most difficult thing he's ever had to do. But her Will specifically appointed him to do this, even though he is the youngest.
I had sent my own written "Memories" to be made part of the goodbye and promises "talk", but of course, the Elder could not deviate from the societies written speech. Still, with all the lovely flowers and memorial cards and the enlarged picture of her up front, over 100 of her dear friends and family showed up to say goodbye. My brother told me he has never been to such a gathering with so many people, and that the Elder made certain to include mom's favorite Kingdom music. They say it was a most outstanding talk from someone mom had great confidence in--- My mother was indeed beloved by so many....
We are being sent a copy of the "talk" on tape, and remembrances to hold onto. She had already been cremated which was her wish. Her ashes placed in the same spot as dad's, who died in '01. This was her wish as well. My brother took lots of pictures to share with us. Pictures of the KH on the day of the Memorial, and pictures of her little room just as it was when she went off the get her surgery that morning. I had called her, and she was very hopeful. I helped her to be brave and told her to remember my smiling face as they put her under. She told me that she loved me with all her heart and that she would do just that. She went to sleep and her soul left the shell behind and went to it's universal home. She never regained consciousness. This woman sacrificed so much of her own self to her great faith. It broke her heart to shun us, but at the same time gave her a great strength and vigor to continue with the rules of the society as she understood them. She had a great fear of displeasing her Jah.
Our brother gathered up "gift packages" which he sent to each of us, and the rest of the many family momentos, pictures, etc. were all shipped to his home to sort through later on. He is glad to be back home. What a week it was for him---for all of us. We were there with our hearts, but we acknowledged our mother's wishes about attending the memorial. In other words, she wouldn't have wanted her daughters--the living dead--to mingle among her friends. Oh, my aunt said that we could come if we wanted, but then she added the words, "but you know how your mother felt". That was answer enough for each of us.
Grief is a strange emotion, as it comes and goes in strong currents, within the day and night, as I smell certain things, hear certain music, look at pictures, read old letters and remember so many things. My beautiful memories will sustain me. I know that mom loved each of us, but felt that any association with us would bring her down. She was faithful to the end, and her earthly journey in that shell is dust again. I don't know exactly what has happened to her soul, but I feel her so close at times, and there is so much love, and a feeling that at last, she does understand. Her experience helped her along her path, and so she continues on the wheel within the universe. This is a great comfort to me and my family.
Love,
Karen