Letter to JW-Inlaws

by catlady 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • catlady

    I have drafted the following letter to send to my partner?s inlaws & family (with his approval). If any of you have comments/suggestions I would welcome them. This has been an ongoing situation & I am most concerned that his kids are going to hear these lies & this will destroy the pleasant relationship that I have with them. I'm also getting sick of not defending myself & having to put up with all this endless crap!

    Dear Mr Smith


    It has come to my attention that you have been making defamatory remarks about me. I refer to the allegations that have been made by members of the Smith, Jones and West families that the marriage breakdown between Tom and Jane was as a result of an ?affair? between myself and Tom. It is my belief that you are all aware of the truth, that Jane ended the marriage for her own reasons. You would also be aware of the fact that the marriage ended in early December, long before Tom and I met and certainly before we became a couple. I will no longer tolerate this defamation of character. If this continues I will be consulting a solicitor and will take legal action.

    If I have not received an affirmative response from you by 31 July 2004 indicating that you will cease and desist this fabrication I will have no other option than to pursue this matter to the full extent of the law.

    On a personal note, I very much regret that the situation has come to this. I find it inexplicable that people who call themselves ?christian? can indulge in such lies and gossip. In your religion?s own publication: What Does God Require of Us? Lesson 9 states: Clean Speech: 'God's servants must always speak the truth. Liars will not enter God's Kingdom.' (Ephesians 4:25; Revelation 21:8) and Lesson 10 goes on to say: Lying, Gambling, Stealing: 'Jehovah God cannot lie.' (Titus 1:2) 'Persons who want his approval must avoid lying.' (Proverbs 6:16-19; Colossians 3:9, 10).

    Yours sincerely


  • jwbot

    Well that is to the point. Hope they get the idea.

  • ohiocowboy

    Hi! That is a very direct, to the point letter. You are being firm, stating the facts. I think it is good. Just make sure to send it registered, so that they have to sign for it, and you will have proof that they got it.

    Another point, you may want to send them a COPY of the letter, with your real signature at the bottom, that way they cannot change any wording, or add to it, as you will have the original as proof, and by sending them a copy, they may wonder in the back of their minds who else is getting a copy, and cause them to take the letter seriously.......

    Good luck!!!

  • Panda

    cat... I advise against sending this letter which will only cause the JWs to say "Look Satan is attacking us."

    The JWs are the most superstitious people you'll ever meet. Just mention demons and satan to them and you'll have their deepest fear by the tail.

  • ohiocowboy
    The JWs are the most superstitious people you'll ever meet. Just mention demons and satan to them and you'll have their deepest fear by the tail.

    If you were to pursue the above mentioning demons, I would be concerned that they could use that against you, and twist it around to be that you are the one that's demonized because you mentioned it.....I still think the letter sounds more professional and to the point....IMO

  • avishai

    I think it's phenomenal

  • codeblue

    Fantastic letter!!! Please keep us updated, if ya can. I would like to know how they reply to your courteous, precise letter!

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl


    I think it's a good letter, however I prolly wouldn't be so quick to jump to telling them you will hire a solicitor, unless you fully intend to do so. Slander is often difficult to prove, especially within a large collective of families interconnected by a common belief. You could probably prove it on your word alone, but it is easier, I would believe, if you have affidavits, tape recordings, pictures, letters, memos, etc. that demonstrate that slander has occurred.

    It would seem to me that you would also have to identify the particular members of your partner's family, and extended family/friends, that have started these rumours, so as to have someone to make the lawsuit against. That would mean those that know/should have known the truth of the matter, yet twisted it as they told someone else. You may also have to pinpoint the point at which these rumours began, and prove that the persons who started them were aware of the true circumstances of the situation, yet despite this knowledge continued to spread the false information. Probably each occurence of the rumour being told is another defamation, so you might have to find out who said what to whom and when.

    These are just my own thoughts. I am not an attorney by any means, but just thinking of possibilities.

    I was just thinking it might just be easier sending a letter showing that you are aware of the rumours, explaining the truth, and saying you want the truth to be known, rather than threatening with a solicitor at this point. You might make a statement like: "These lies are very damaging to my character and reputation, which I take great pride in, and I would hate to see it damaged any further through the spreading of misinformation. My character and reputation are very valuable to me. Should these defemations continue, I shan't have other choice but to protect them." I dunno... maybe that even sounds a little threatening... I am just rambling on here. Anyway.. good luck with your letter, and please keep us posted!

    Your friend,

    Country Girl

  • Tashawaa
    Should these defemations continue, I shan't have other choice but to protect them."

    Country girl - I know what you're getting at, but this still is threatening "something"... how will she protect it?

    I say go ahead with the solicitor. Even if you have to go the step further, and go to a solicitor - have the solicitor write a letter first, it can have a BIG impact.

    I had a problem being stalked, and saw a lawyer. He said before I spent over $500 on a restraining order, he'd charge me $50 and send a letter. It worked.

  • Yerusalyim


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