If you could go back to the time of Jesus

by JH 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • El blanko
    El blanko

    Personally, I'd keep my mouth shut and drift around waiting for miracles.

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    I would document it all on streaming video.

    Did you know that there is no streaming A/V of Mt.St Helens erruption?

    Undaunted Danny 'crack shot with a camcorder'

  • seven006
    seven006

    Well now, that would all depend if you went back to the time the Christian, Muslim and Jewish religions said he lived, or the time history out side of those religions say he did not.

    If I did go back to that time in history, I'd try to find the old religious control freaks who first invented the can and ask them to shove all the worms back in it.

    Then I'd slip back 300 years prior to that and tell Buddha to copyright all his miracles so they could not be contributed to Jesus three centuries later. Then I would slip back 300 years prior to Buddha and ask Krishna to do the same thing so Buddha and Jesus could not rip off his miracles. I may be bit materialistic, but I think good miracles should be copyrighted so the original inventor gets the credit as well as the profits and the prophets (wow, those two words sound alike and pretty much have the same meaning, I never thought of that before). It was just too damn easy back then for people to rip off other peoples miracles if they didn't have legal protection. They needed more lawyers back then so we would have all this confusion about who did what miracle and who really was the honest to god savior of mankind.

    Krishna should at least make a royalty on every water ski manufactured through out history. That walking on water miracle was impressive and has turned into one hell of a fun sport. Or was that Buddha that did that first? I get all those saviors and their miracles mixed up sometimes because they are so god damn similar. I guess they had to do stuff like that back then because there wasn't any TV to watch and people craved a good story to swap at dinner. Thank god we have reality TV now and great science fiction movies like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Well, Lord of the Rings isn't "science" fiction, it's more like...well...never mind. Anyway, it's all very entertaining.

    Then, after visiting three of the top saviors, I'd slip back another million or so years prior to Krishna and have a bronto burger with Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. Those guys are still, to this day, two of my favorite actors. After saying good bye to Fred and Barney, and giving Betty a little pinch on her cute little butt, I'd go sit around the beach and wait for the first amphibious lawyer fish to walk out of the water and onto the land and then bop him on the head with a baseball bat.

    I like these kinds of threads, they are a lot of fun.

    Dave

  • kls
    kls

    Candid, i must have missed you when you first started posting but i love your thinking. I go with what Candid says.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I would be interested in learning whether he really existed, or was a composite of other learned men, or whether his story was a good one, greatly embellished by history.

  • zen nudist
    zen nudist

    assuming time travel were ever possible, I would like to know if Jesus was a real person or a gnostic invention.

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    If you could go back to the time when Jesus was on earth, and you could actually talk to him, what would you ask him?

    Well, if I were a Jew living in that time, knowing what I know about our present day, I would hang with the Great Teacher at one of those parties he would attend . . . where he show-boated his talent for turning water into wine . . . and ask him to give me the 411 on the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses. Other questions might follow such as, "Why is it that you must give up your life as a sacrefice for mankind's sins? Why does God require such an elaborate scheme to forgive the offspring of Adam and Eve the sins that were merely and uncontrollably inherent in us and restore mankind to "perfection" and a good relationship with Him?

    Would you have followed him, knowing that the end was thousands of years away?

    As a Jew, without present day knowledge, I suppose I would be just like everyone else and compare my understanding of the scriptures with what he taught and asserted. Depending on who I was and what kind of life I had would determine whether or not I would be predisposed to following him. If I saw the miracles performed, I think he would definitely have my attention. If I had have been one of the twelve, Peter probably would not have been the only one to draw his sword in the garden of gethsemane to chop a soldier's ear off. It would have been on! "Please teacher! Just let me give this Roman assbite a real good forged steel enema!"

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    I like these kinds of threads, they are a lot of fun.

    Dave, you have a lyrical way of cutting through the bullshit.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I'd ask him how he puts up with so many schmucks now and in the future.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i had another idea!

    if i could go back to the time of jesus i'd stay and live then and believe anything i wanted cuz i'd know i was going to die and the end wasnt for another 2000++++ years and geez since the watchtower soc. wasnt around then i wouldnt be judged on anything i did in that lifetime just judged after i was resurrected and learned the "truth"!

    i never thought it was fair that my generation HAD to behave cuz the end was going to come in MY lifetime.

    course......i aint dead yet... who knows.... ( insert twilight zone music here)

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit