Sometimes I Hate Being The Father Of Teenagers . . .

by Corvin 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    I am a pretty liberal dad. I talk to my kids alot and openly about everything from sex to drugs . . . to Rock-n-Roll. I always try to give them options and let them make their own decisions . . . or sometimes, their own mistakes.

    Speaking of Rock-n-Roll, I have a couple of rules about music for this household, (my Mary allows me to have these rules) and it is not that all music must be Elvis.

    My only rules are: 1. Rap is OK as long as it is NOT ANGRY or VIOLENT. Just about any kind of music is welcome in this household as long as it is NOT ANGRY OR VIOLENT OR something that promotes or elicits negative emotions. I think music is a powerful medium that touches us to our very heart in one way or another. (There is this whole thing about sound and music I once studied that talked about how music affects humans emotionally . . . it talked about how different tones and frequencies actually affect our mind, emotions and physiology.) So nothing negative, angy or violent is allowed.

    My kids have always known this, and they have quite a collection of music from various genres and I am happy that they are open to all kinds of stuff. Yeah for them. In times past, they have chosen to buy CD's that have a couple of songs that are so angry and disturbing that they make me want to slit my own wrists. While trying to be fair to them, I offered that they could either get rid of the CD or allow me to make compilation CD's with just the songs that I feel are more appropriate (I have lot's of CD burning technology in my home and it is no problem). This had made them happy.

    So, the other day my 17 yo comes home from the music store with a new CD (don't remember the group's name). She showed it to me and I said, "cool". Later I went into her bedroom to ask her a question and she was playing her new CD. It was the most angry, ugly crap I had ever heard. We talked about it . . .

    She copped an attitude because I took exception to the kind of music she brought into my house. I again offered her the option of a compilation CD. She gave me that snotty "I hate you" look and told me that all the songs were like that. I said, "oh, OK."

    I took the CD and broke it, then tossed it into the trash can where it belongs. I am sorry she lost her money on that CD, but she knew what the rules were when she bought it. Sometimes I hate being the father of teenagers.

    Corvin

  • avishai
    avishai

    what band?

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Very funny. Glad you stood your ground on that one.

    I was pretty adamant about music when ours were teenagers. They still snuck in Ozzy and Def Leperd and a few others that, at the time, I thought were horrible. I didn't know until they were getting rid of them themselves because they were tired of them.

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    Was it Eminem?

  • Corvin
  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    Dang the website is rough.

  • avishai
    avishai

    I kinda liked it.

    Check out a band called AFI. Similar, but perhaps a little more palatable? It's kinda sad, kids don't have a lot to rebel w/ any more. I used to get the sh*t kicked outta me for riding a skateboard, dressing funny, etc. Now it's OK and trendy. Sad.

  • IronGland
    IronGland

    " Eliciting negative emotions" is pretty subjective. My great grandparents probably thought the Beatles elicited negative emotion. Havn't you ever had the experience of angry music eliciting a positive emotion because it was cathartic? Of course it is your home. Couldn't you have maybe let her sell it at the used music store so it wasn't a total loss?

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    I'm catching up on some of the great shock music I missed out on during the 90's, Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie in particular. Good stuff!

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Szervusz Corvin!

    You should dig out one of your old Bob Dylan albums and listen carefully to the words:

    Come mothers and fathers
    All over the land
    And don't criticize
    What you can't understand
    Your sons and your daughters
    Are beyond your command
    Your old road is rapidly agin'
    Please get out of the new one
    If you can't lend your hand
    For the times they are a-changin'

    It was true in '63 and its still true today!

    I remember as a kid, my nephew bought Cosmo's Factory by Creedence Clearwater Revival. His JW Dad made him play the record song by song in the living room with the dad listening, before it was allowed to be kept! (which it was!) I mean, this was John Fogerty for Chrissake! It was COUNTRY MUSIC!!!!

    My philosophy is: if the kids are at home and the music is not too loud, then let them play what they want to.

    Just be glad they didn't bring home "Kingdom Melodies". Then you really would have a reason to kick them out of home!

    Pope

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