Hi Willowstreet,
"After I told them...it was no big deal. They all explained how they had been Penecostal and Catholic and they had their abusive stories to tell." ... "We were all the same."
If a woman tells her story about some trauma, a man might try and relate to it by making some comparative statement ... but does he really understand? Does that comparative statement make men and women the same? I find that when Pentecostals, Catholics and Baptists, etc. make such comparisons about their own problems with their religions, they are sincerely trying to make a connection. However, having grown up Catholic and also functionsed in other religions, I find there is no real comparison, except in certain congregations where the pastor goes goofy. Pentecostals, for example, are overall a nice group. They have few cult-like features. Sometimes a Pentecostal pastor will become a cult leader. Whereas Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult from top to bottom, stem to stern, inside and out, through and through.
The point is...I think we make a bigger deal of our past affiliation than it deserves to be.
I believe that some x-JWs do carry on too much over too long a period. Some ex-JWs go as far as connecting the Watchtower to conspiracy theories that affiliate them with the ever-feared secretive Illuminate. Some ex-JWs even attribute special Biblical fulfillment to the Watchtower, making them he Wild beast of Revelation. But, otherwise, I don't think we make too big a deal on average. We need to work out what happened to us, and try to make sense of it, heal, and move on. As you watch these discussion boards, ex-JWs come, stay for a while, and many move on ... some stay for various reasons, usually good reasons. I don't see much in the way of unhealthy attitudes or makeing too big a deal.
Its kinda narcisistic really. We are not special because we are ex witnesses, remember, we deluded ourselves into thinking we were something special while we were in the organization. Could we be doing the same thing ... but this time because we are ex witnesses?.
I agree that for a time after leaving the Watchtower, a person could and sometimes does go through new delusions as they evolve and adjust back into normal society. However, it took a great deal to end the initial delusion of being a JW in the first place ... I have not found ex-JWs on average to be self-deluded very often. Most are the opposite, far more hard core realists who have lost all sense of fantasy.
Maybe its all in our head?
No, it is not all in our heads. It was all very real. The self-delusions are in a person's head. The extremely negative experiences are not in their heads. Sorting it all out takes time and some of this involves getting our "head" clear.
Why give it more authority and power, unless we believe it to be somehting that it is not.
True. The healing, sorting, discovery, discussion, debate, additional research, sharing, growing, evolving, and moving forward all help us to end Watchtower authority. It takes time to openly engage in new things like celebrating birthdays, Christmas, etc. without feeling odd, nervous, like a fish out of water. It takes time before being able to fully be who we really are ... good normal people who have a right to enjoy life as normal people do.
Jim W.
