A conversation with the folks... H E L P ! (page 2)

eiu2003

Talesin,

I can empathize with your situation. I have not had to deal with it in regard to parents but there was a period where it was everyday with the EX. I also see how she tries to manipulate and lay guilt trips on Desi. I remember one time she told Desi that she had to chose between myself and her. How could a mother put her only daughter in such a position. That ticked me off big time. It just shows how fanatical and uncaring they can become.

It really does separate families. So if you want to maintain any relationship with your parents you have a tightrope in order to keep your beliefs and to not antaganize your parents to the point they never come around.

Just my experiences and thoughts.

Good Luck,

patio34

((((Talesin)))),

It sound as if you handled it very well and had the facts at your fingertips. It's hard to talk to such close-mindedness though! But, you really never know what may be getting through to them. Things don't crack all at once. Plus, the fact your Mother had to rely on such a feeble excuse may indicate that she may know she can't defend it.

I loved your phrase: the ship hit the sand! How cute! I'm going to be using that one!

Hugs,

Pat

Eyebrow2

Mind you, this was all said calmly, without anger but with passion. On both sides. That is the benefit of years of working on the relationship with my parents. Letting them know where I stand, yet being kind and empathetic, and at times, letting them have their delusions.

I just have to comment on those sentences...kudos!!! That is how I am with my mother. It makes a huge difference...and is very difficult to do.

Sounds like they at least respect you, and love you very much. It is soooo hard to kept a good relationship when you leave.

talesin

Thanks, folks! I was in quite a state earlier, your support was muchly needed. It's just coming around to dawn now, finally got back online.

I was hesitant to post this thread. After almost a year at JWD, I realize that it's about time I shared a bit of myself with you wonderful folks. It was hard to put it out there, I was nervous. So, here's a note for each of you that replied.

Sassy

Thanks girlie! You are always there for support. *mwah*

codeblue

*the proof is in the "print" ...

Yes, that is the hope I have, that common sense will overrule programming, once they read the facts.

Your sister is on the same wavelength, huh? That's the frustrating part of this, isn't it? Sometimes I just wish I really was Spock (one of my nicknames), and could do a Vulcan mind meld with them! You keep hanging in there, and so will I.

Elsewhere

You are such a sweetie. If I was ten years younger ... heheh j/k Truth be told, although we have never directly communicated, I think you could be my long-lost little brother. I'm happy things are going well for you at work, btw. *mwah*

Cybs

*just take it slow*

It's what I try to do, but today, it just 'got to me'. Eh, that's the way it goes sometimes. We haven't 'talked' in a while, but I think of you often. {{{Cybs}}}

Shutterbug

Thank you for your input from the perspective of 'older, wiser'! And yes, the last thing I want to do is make them feel stupid. It's a real conundrum - how to help them escape the Tower without them feeling their whole lives have been a waste? And leave them with a sense of self-respect? It's all so sad.

bebu

It's my feeling that dad has not 'believed' for a while. I think he is secretly happy for me and proud that I made the break. He is a man of few words (think John Wayne, and you know my dad!), but his attitude towards me is not one of disdain or censure, but encouragement. So I hold some hope for him, but at his age (70s) it seems impossible that he would ever step away from the JW, although he has 'stepped down' from eldership quite some time ago. I was proud of him for that, to tell the truth.

Stef

Thanks, hon! I would have lost my cool, too, a few years back. Biting my tongue is VERY hard work. heheh (just call me "Chatty Cathy", you're too young to remember that doll, but those in their 40s will know what I mean) big *mwah* to you, too!

eui2003

*walk a tightrope*

Ain't that the truth? Lately, I have been getting more and more frustrated that I have to feel this way because of a bunch of old men in Brooklyn who have manipulated my family for 4 generations. grrrrrrrrrr Can't even enjoy a normal relationship with my parents, I hate the WT! I'm happy you are free, and can NOW enjoy your daughter as a free person. Good on you, eui2003!

patio

*she may know she can't defend it*

I think you are absolutely, spot-on, correct! This is the key point with my mom. She has a very strict sense (black-and-white thinking) of what is right and wrong. It's hard for her to admit to any misjudgements. The type of person who will DENY DENY DENY. She would have made a good politician. arrgghh

That sounds so cold, but her denial of my abuse has hardened me about her ----> then again, I guess that really she is the hardened one. After all, I have never understood mothers who know their kid is being molested and turn a blind eye. I lost a lot of respect for her when the flashbacks started, and then I got medical proof of my early abuse. That being said, I work at forgiveness, and try to imagine what it was like for her, back in the 60s, dealing with it in a time when there was no support available.

Eyebrow2

Thanks for noticing that. I've worked very hard at it. It's worth it in the long run!

talesin <--------- See! I got my smiley face back! Thanks, folks

LittleToe

Sounds like you handled yourself well, Tal

ON the point of revealing yourself on a public forum, kudo's to you.
I've been here nearly three years and I've only recently started revealing things like my separation, etc., so I know how hard it can be.
Keep on keeping on

talesin

Thanks, LT.

Yeah, it was difficult. I'm still having little heart palpitations! heheh phew!

tal

franklin J

you expressed yourself very well. And more importantly; you stood up for what you believe. Good.

Obviously, your parents do love you ( hokey statement; I know) And I think it is very healthy for parents and their offspring ( who sometimes think differently) to disagree; and then hug each other and say " I love you".

What you are essentially saying ( without saying it) is " we think differently; and have different conclusions in life; but despite that; I stll love you." This is a very healthy; and non destructive perspective to have. That is great!

regards, and be well, Frank

talesin

Thanks, Frank.

Yes, that is how I see it. And btw, it's not too hokey, it's just the truth and I'm happy and grateful that they do love me enough to *not* shun me.

But it's really nice to hear you say it!

tal

shotgun

I already pm'd you this talesin

1. jwmedia.org....how can any witness explain the creator of the universe needing a pr team and lawyers to offset the damage done by his chosen visible organization, not to mention they only target areas where abuse cases have come to light.

2. If the media is controlled by Satan why does he give more than equal billing to the faults of Catholic and various other religions which are part of his wicked system, didn't even Jesus say such thinking was stupid.

3. If the tv shows are lies, the newspapers are lies and even all the people making allegations are liars...who can they trust for anything? The WT because they're never wrong?

gumby

There must have been a lot said through B.O.E. letters, and much inuendo made by Elders in that so many dubs are aware of the UN, and Pedophilia issues.

What makes any of it count, is wheather the individual is willing to truthfully check out the accusations.....or not. More will come forth about this cult , then perhaps more will begin to wonder and wake up.

Thanks for sharing....you did an awesome job in your defense.

Gumby

A conversation with the folks... H E L P !

Share this