Elders "disassociated" me-after I married non-JW (page 2)

Nikita

Thanks all for the replies thus far!

Jgnat, 'course I don't mind! I get the unequally yoked thing, and I get that in the WTS eyes it is grounds for action of some sort (but they never even tried talking with me to see where my heart was) but are there any scriptures that say "have nothing to do with a brother/sister if they are unequally yoked?" I'm thinking of 1 Cor. 5:11 where it lists the sins that warrant "shunning." I know of other jw's who marry non-believers and aren't disciplined.

robhic-

You made me laugh! I may just try it!

Nikita

cyber-sista

I just went through this whole thing with my non- baptized daugter marrying an unbeliever even though she was not a believer herself. They put my whole family through hell including my non-believing husband because of it, but in the end and after all the research done (through the law books of the WT magazine) it was concluded by many that even if a believer marries out of the faith it is not a disassociating affair. This went through the branch and also through Brooklyn. You should not have been Disassociated because of this, but as I found out there is no real justice with the WT organization. They are not united or organized--the whole thing is an illusion and a farce. Sorry if you were hurt too.

Interesting side note...In all my studies about marriage in relation to the WT beliefs, I found a interesting little note in the Insight book. In the old law when the Israelites conquered a villiage they could spare the virgin women and take them as their wives. Of course everyone else was to be killed, but OK to spare the pagan virgins and marry them. hmmmm...Could their be a double standard going on here?

Nikita

cyber-sista, I appreciate your sharing your story! I'm sorry for the hell they put your family through. I think that is interesting, what you have said in regards to the Insight book!

Thanks again

Nikita

Golf

I never experienced any problems marrying outside the faith. If anything, they welcomed my mate.

Guest 77

talesin

I attended the funeral of a family member in a church with my elder father, my mother refused to go. It was 'against her conscience'. So, it's allowed, but frowned upon in my experience.

Also, my own impression is that they are much more permissive about funerals than they are about weddings. IOW, a much better witness can (perhaps) be given at a funeral. You know, folks are much more vulnerable and open to any form of comfort (read, proselytizing).

talesin

Aalena

While I was being "Publicly Reproved"(I had moved out with my wordly BF at age 19 and had moved back home with my parents when I was about 20 or 21) the commitee told me if I so much as had *any* contact with my EX, I would be Disfellowshipped. It seems that either this committee liked to use scare tactics or they pretty much just assumed that if I so much as spoke to this person again, hopeless, weak-minded "me" would fornicate. I got smart after this one and realized they were "just men" and had no right to say such a thing OR assume such a thing. It's a shame because I went in with the mindset and certainty of wanting to dedicate the rest of my life to this way of life. Thank God I saw the hypocracy through my momentarily clouded mind.

Nikita

Golf, you see that is what I have observed at times--baptized believers who have married outside of their faith and no action was taken-none. Yet, for me it was taken. And why not try to take action with me before the marriage-why wait til it happens and then take action?!Usually, I get along just fine with the fact it was done, but lately, I have been missing my brother and this just has been building up within me.

talesin it's always about "the witness" isn't it?! Can't just go to "be there" for a family.

Nikita

Aalena good for you! Glad that you are out! BTW, welcome to JWD!!

Nikita

Poztate

Also DAing is exactly as it says meaning you are not a JW anymore.

I beg to differ with this statement.Once you have taken the plunge you will always be a JW until the day you die.The program of shunning will start and will continue unless you come begging on your hands and knees to be taken back.I know of one person,close to me who has beenDF'ed for 50 years.They still are shunned by most family members.You will never be treated as just another worldly person if you are DF'ed or DA'ed.

This is why if I am talking to anyone thinking of signing up to ask if they are REALLY SURE cause once you sign up you belong to them for life.

talesin

I've been thinking about this issue a lot recently, in light of personal stuff revolving around family weddings (it was made clear I was NOT invited) and funerals (always encouraged to attend).

It seems to me, Nikita, that the wedding shunning is one way the bOrg uses to punish us for leaving. We are not welcome to share the joyful occasion. We are banned and shunned at all joyful events. However, when someone dies, we are permitted - no, encouraged - to go to the funeral and share in the grief. It's just another way of telling us that we are permitted to have no 'joy' in our lives.

It also allows them to feel that we are 'still a part of the family', since they are including us in the death rituals. Thereby, salving the collective consciousness that exists within the bOrg. After all, they do not abandon us in our time of need. Whatever!

tal

Elders "disassociated" me-after I married non-JW

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