JW's and Funerals..... your thoughts please, including current JW's (page 2)

Room 215

Sadly, these talks are usually little more than infomercials on JW eschatology; in fact, I recall that the Society's standard outline cautions against ``eulogizing the deceased" (unless, of course, it's a high-ranking Bethelite).

dothemath

I've found it discouraging to be at the last several funerals in our area. The talks have mentioned very little about the person who has died..........and the speaker goes on and on about "what he/she would have wanted you to hear right now"

The outline covers so much material.........144,000, great crowd, sign of the end,.......etc. etc. that no one who wasn't a witness would make any sense of it.........

There's been some real fiascos with disfellowshipped relatives........no one allowed to attend any function after the funeral, etc.

It's left a bad impression within the community.........it all seems very un-christian to me.

Undaunted Danny

I have not seen my JW mom since 1989 and now I never will!

I tracked down my Disabled JW mom's death certificate.Now I know that she can rest in peace at last,from the abusive tormented life that poor women had as a Jehovah's Witness. Real people,real sorrow,real Watchtower family wrecking!

Name	Birth	Death	Last Residence	Last Benefit	SSN	Issued	Tools	Order Record?
MARY ANN HASZARD	18 Sep 1937	13 Oct 2002 (V)	3L)	(none specified)

My mom was born blind in one eye and 20/200 in her 'good' eye she went on to raise JW 5 kids.I was the oldest,and was the family anchor until I was wrongfully disfellowshipped on bogus bullshit. Nobody but nobody wrecks familys on the order of the WT$ cult.I am convinced that their protocols come straight from satan. Edited:One of my reasons for sticking it out 33 years as a witless Jehovah's Witnesses was to see the day my blind mom would get her 'new eyes' from Jehover.All she ever got was heartache. Be warned,Jesus word's at Matthew 18:10" see to it you men never dispise one of these little ones,for I tell you their angels in heaven always behold the face of my father who is in heaven" Watchtower,what kind of demonic twist can you put on JC plain language?Be warned !

cyber-sista

I have been to witness funerals and to "worldly" funerals. I have noticed that at many times that many in the congo do not attend funerals at the KH. I have been to funerals of older ones who have been JWs for years with very few people in attendance and only a few from their own hall. Many have estranged themselves from their relatives I suppose. Funerals at the KH seem like just another meeting and after you have already attended 3 of them for the week that's enough for even the most zealous JW.

Attending a non-JW funeral is not encouraged at all by the Org.--this always disturbed me. I can't imagine not being by my husbands side at the funeral of his non-JW parents. How heartless and cruel that would've been. Somehow the Org translates going to a "worldly" funeral as being a bad witness or a stumbling to others. What a bunch of nonsense.

You are allowed to attend any meeting at the KH, but if you are DFd I would be surprised if anyone speaks to you, which is probably a blessing. You would not invited to attend any get togethers after the meeting. I was told by the elders and others that you could lose your position in the congo as an elder, pioneer etc if you attended any function where a Dfd person was present. The elders in my congo took it a step further and told me that anyone in a position who attended my daughter's wedding could lose their "position." (My daughter was not baptized but living a moral life was marrying a non-JW) They said it could be a "stumbling to those in the community because I was a JW and she while herself was not baptized was marrying a non-JW (her Father was not a JW either)--How twisted is that? Yes, it was a stumbling to the community, but they won't be stumbling into the KH anytime soon as most were shocked by the behaviour of the JWs towards my family.

If you are ever in this situation just do what you feel is the best thing is for you. If you are not comfortable going to the KH you can arrange to have your own memorial or closing ritual for your Mom. Give a eulogy, read a special poem, play some music, hike up a mountain and throw some flowers in the wind--whatever. Invite some people to join you who will be loving and supporting of your process. You don't have to follow the KH rules anymore.

Valis

bull...I wouldn't expect too much from them as far as a funreal is concerned. Youll gte maybe 15 minutes about your mum and the rest will be used as an opportunity to preach about thier "ressurection". And no, you being there shouldn't be an issue. Regardless of your status in JWland.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

orangefatcat

When my father passed away several years ago, the Kingdom Hall was packed to the rafters. Our family, that is my mom and us four girls one aunt who is a witness and another aunt who is a non witness all set in the front row.

The brother gave a good talk and eulogy. I guess they made an exception with regards to my dad. Any way I wanted to ask my mom why our aunt who was a non witness was allowed to sit in the front row of the KH with all of us. My mom said it was a good witness for your aunt. To see the unity of the congregaton and your fathers good reputation.

So I am wondering if when my mother passes away will I be allowed to sit in the front row in the Kingdom Hall with the rest of the family or will they ostersize me?

I have been thinking of this lately as my mom is not been this past several months and I want to know what to expect from the rest of the family.

Orangefatcat

run dont walk

my dad died a few years after i had left, no one questioned me being there, so i don't think you will have a problem.

having said that, now my mom is in very bad shape , probaly won't last more then a few years, and i have NO intention of going to the kingdom hall when/if she goes, i will attend at the funeral home and the grave site, but i will never set foot in the kingdom hall again, for any reason.

just me

bull01lay

I'll elaborate on this, because it has only been touched on tentatively. It sounds like OrangeFatCat has similar worries....

My main fear is the witnesses trying to stop me attending a 'christian' funeral to sit with my mourning family, and be a part of the whole funeral thing. If it meant a choice between starting a scene at my folks funeral and staying, or quietly melting away to mourn in quiet, I honestly think I would create havoc!

Whilst I do not want to sound unneccessarily agressive or violent, woe betide anyone who tried to stop me!! I fear there would be need for many more funerals in their locality if they did. But then they welcome death, don't they, in the face of doing the WTS will ?( I say WTS instead of God because what loving God would want to ostracise a mourning person?) ? Quick passage into the new system and all that!!!

I do hope I 'go' before my Mum or sister!!!!!

cyber-sista

Bull01lay,

I am sorry that this is such a worry for you. If you feel if you should go then go and show them your emotions if need be then you should go. I cannot imagine anyone being kicked out at a funeral service. Maybe it will make some of them think. The Org tries to make others feel as if those who have left no longer care or have love, but of course we know that this is not the case. But do keep in mind that besides the service at the KH you can have one of your own too with people who will be supportive of you--this is important too. Have both if you must. Do what you can to heal and get perspctive on the situation beforehand.

Love,

cybs

bull01lay

Thanks for the reply Cybs...

then go and show them your emotions if need be then you should go.

This is kinda the thing I'm worried about though. As regards a service for me - I don't see what the point would be - all the people who know and associate with my Mum are witnesses. What would be the point of a service for 5 people (assuming that non jw family would go to the 'main event'... and why should I turn up, show emotion, then leave ? Whilst not expressed, I know my Mum would want a service at the KH, nowhere else - anywhere else would feel like a sham.

Maybe I ought to talk to her about it, but how do you say 'btw mum, what's gonna happen about the service when you're dead' ?? She'll think I've got my eyes on the inheritance!!

Thanks,

Bull.

JW's and Funerals..... your thoughts please, including current JW's

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