i put this in humour, but it makes me want to vomit hard

by in a new york bethel minute 36 Replies latest social humour

  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    i receieved this "poem" from some witness chick who sent it as a forward to myself and a whole bunch of other dubs. my sister received it from someone else and i have other friends who received it from other sources. im sure every young witness who has email has received it by now, and it's the most sickening, disheartening thing i have seen in a long time.

    my theory is that it origionally, but unofficially came from brooklyn bethel writing department and was given to the one out of how-ever-many thousands of bethelites who can actually afford a computer and has email. he forwarded it to twenty of his email buddies and they all did the same until we reached the sixth degree of Jehovah's Witnessesism. take the time to read the whole thing because it gets sicker towards the end, with exclamation point peppered throughout the whole thing for emphasis. obviously not every witness swallows this tripe, but the fact that some still buy into it, assures me that many many witnesses are going to miss out on true love and happiness BECAUSE THEY WAITED ON JEHOVAH!!! and if all else fails, they can go to www.jwmatch.com

    enjoy all

    >>>To my fellow friends.........This is a reminder for all of us. This can also be applied to brothers. No matter what we go through as single christians. Breaking Jah's law isn't worth it.

    "He Doesn't Serve God."

    I'd like to tell you a story, about true love at last. It's very informative and has an interesting cast. So pay close attention, it's sad but true, And don't ever think this can't happen to you. I met him during lunch break on a sunny day, He sat next to me and smiled, as I was about to pray. We talked on and on. He was such a gentleman. I wished that this moment would never end. Ah, but then it came to be the end of my lunch hour. I tell you when he stood up, he looked just like a tower!
    We met again and again. Our souls began to cling. I pondered in my mind, "Is this the REAL thing?" He doesn't smoke or drink, or gamble away his money. He doesn't 't do drugs or things like that and he's nobody's "honey". Let's face it, he's fine and he's really got a great "body". The only thing that's missing is he doesn't serve God. I'll just give him a chance, he'll change in time. I won't mind being "his", if he'd like to be "mine". My friends tried to warn me. I didn't listen or care. Little did I know my life would be one of despair.

    The wedding was fine. The judge married us in the fall. You see, I couldn't have a wedding in a Kingdom Hall. My dad, said no, he wouldn't give me away. With the pain in his heart, he didn't have much to say. Mom, listen to me, please don't cry and whine. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I've got a good man and he has a good job. The only thing is, he doesn't serve God. Everything is going fine, but recently at night, when it's time for the meeting, we just fuss and fight. He says, "Who's this God, breaking us apart? Don't go tonight dear, please follow your heart." So I listen and stay, to keep peace at home. But now oftentimes, I feel so all-alone. I don't associate with the friends much at all, To keep peace at home, I don't go to the Hall. Service and Meetings, all that's history.

    Today, I decorated my first Holiday Tree. The holiday celebrations are now part of my life. You see, I must obey my husband, for I am his wife. The brothers would call. I wouldn't answer the door. I don't read the magazines. Reading is such a bore. Marrying out of the Truth, it really sets you "free". "Free" from Jehovah's love that once was in me.

    I just got the news! I'm having a "little one"! I can hardly wait to tell my dear "Hon". He was in a bad mood. He lost his job that day. He told me as he hit me, "That's just one more bill to pay!" Then he apologized, "I'm sorry, please forgive me Dear" You see, I've heard those words more often than I'd like to hear. I have two jobs now. I must support my household. My husband says he'll find work, but now that's getting old. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm feeling very strange. My schedule at both jobs, I'll have to rearrange.

    I should be very happy, the baby is due any day. Things just have to get better, somehow, some way. I'm married to this man, for better or for worse. The only problem is, he doesn't put Jehovah first. The baby came today, she's so little and so light. She's not crying or making noise, something's just not right. "What could be wrong?" I thought aloud as I lay in bed. In came the doctor looking sad, and then he shook his head. "Mrs. Unbeliever," he said, "there's something I must confess." You and the baby tested positive to the new HIV test. I started crying. I couldn't believe the words the doctor said. To know that in a very short time, my child and I'd be dead!

    Listen to me! All of you! I'm telling you to your face! To marry an Unbeliever, is a TOTAL DISGRACE,! To Jehovah, our loving father, who provides for his sheep. That's why he sets the guidelines for us to hold and keep. Wait on Jehovah. In his due time He'll set things straight. Be patient, and He'll give you a Theocratic mate. One who loves Jehovah and you know that he'll do right. One who'll be there with you when it comes to "Meeting" night. A worldly man has nothing to offer - really nothing at all But unhappiness, sadness, sorrow, and a very serious fall. (So be wise my Sisters, and please don't try to rush things. Wait patiently on Jehovah, and accept the blessings he brings. Don't look to worldly men as mates, at your job or at the Mall. REMEMBER! Brothers that serve Jehovah are at the Kingdom Hall.

  • copsec
    copsec

    UGH, that's just disgusting

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    The Way It Really Is

    Once I was a brother in the gay ol? ?truth?

    I too knocked on doors, made the most of my youth!

    I fell away for a time but determined to return

    And when I did I brought with me a major concern

    My new wife was worldly, but baptized she got

    The ways of the world my new wife forgot!

    ?To receive my love?, I said, ?you don?t really have to?

    ?but it?s the best way I know? she said, ?that I can control you

    She was materialistic, demanding; an angry jealous ho

    We had some kids and to the Kingdom Hall we did go

    When my mother died one night after the meeting

    And left my heart broken and just barely beating

    I was in the car when the drunk driver made impact

    Taking my mother?s life, but leaving me in tact

    The nightmares came and grief took my hand

    She vehemently told me I should be more of a man!

    ?Let it go!?, she said, ?and don?t be a jerk . . .

    Tomorrow is Monday and you can?t miss work!?

    She withheld her ?love? until I recovered

    She threatened to leave me for grieving my mother

    I drifted away, got sick and so lost

    She said it was my children that would be the cost!

    She filed for divorce and made me a vow

    That I would die like a dog very soon, if not now

    That she would find a man, spiritual and good

    To be the kind of man that I never could

    The brother she hooked was a fat angry drunk

    But that was ok since he was a Jehovah?s punk

    She said that he would now be my kids? dad

    That he had his own landscaping business while I was so bad

    She clung to the ?truth? and had premarital sex

    With that ?spiritual man? that made her my ex

    They committed fornication and got disfellowshipped

    More self-righteous they grew upon reinstatement

    They abused the kids and made them so blue

    Until suicide and hopelessness they felt through and through

    The elders had meetings and counseled my kids

    They said, ?Just look at your mother! See what you did??

    The abuse persisted, the drinking and sheer hell

    That fine spiritual mate of hers had thrice gone to jail

    I took her to court and got my sweet kids back

    And told all the JW?s to smooch my white ass-crack

    I just want to say that that first poem is bullshit

    It doesn?t happen that way . . . but usually the opposite
  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Disgusting propaganda, new york, sorry you and the others still have to listen to this discouraging baloney.

  • myauntfanny
    myauntfanny

    That is totally barforific. At least it shows how much they rule through simple fear. That's right, marry a JW and when he beats you and molests your kids, the Elders will cover it up. Nice and safe on the inside, all right.

  • Realist
    Realist

    thats one beautiful and uplifting poem! LOL

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    My mom married a 'Jehovah first pioneer'. [ Maine Times Interview] Q:Tell me about the situation with your mother.

    A: My parents were Jehovah's Witness missionaries, and when I was born they were reviled for having a baby because the end of the world was coming any day; the preaching work has to get priority.

    My father married my mother after he met her family when he was going door-to-door. She was 17, he was 27. She was worse than legally blind. They married and it was hell. He was a rotten husband. He was a psychopath because he was a Jehovah's Witness.

    I was a Jehovah's Witness, too. I was a good-looking boy. I had all these girls chasing me, but I had to suppress my sex drive because any day the end of the world's coming and I'm going to get delivered and I decided the thing to do was to live with my parents even though it sucked.

    When I was 30, my mother up and moved to Florida. In 1997 I heard a rumor that she had Alzheimer's disease, that she didn't recognize any of her children. She must be deceased by now; I?ve never been able to find out.

    Q: You also allege that you were raped in the church..... Rest of the interview: http://dannyhaszard.com/haszardtext.htm

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Hmph. I think I heard that story at one point in my Witness career (the one that started this thread). How about the other side of the story? Here goes:

    Today I married my true love. We were married in a Kingdom Hall, of course, and I was very careful to have a dress that the elders approved of. I really wanted a beautiful designer dress with little buttons down the sheer back, but I know Jehovah wouldn't approve -- it was too sexy. Besides, my husband says he LIKES to see me in high necked dresses; it's more modest. I just know my life will be wonderfully happy and we'll be together right into the Paradise. The wedding talk was really boring, but I paid attention. I WILL be a good wife and be in subjection to my husband.

    The wedding night was kind of hard, and I cried, but I'll get used to it. After all, I have to please my husband, right? I'm sure that will bring enough pleasure for both of us.

    Today I found out I'm pregnant! I'm so excited! I don't know how we're going to manage the extra expense -- we really need two incomes, but my husband won't let me work. He says it would make him look bad to the other elders. But we manage. I think we'd have more money if he didn't drink so much beer after work, but I know he's stressed. That's probably why he yells at me sometimes. I know I should do better about having everything ready for meeting nights so he doesn't have to rush around. I wonder what my baby will look like. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten pregnant, though. My mom told me this is no time to have a baby, with Armageddon so close. I guess it's my fault, but I really want to be a good mother!

    The baby is so beautiful, but she cries and cries. I'm exhausted trying to keep her quiet during the night so my husband can sleep. And he's complaining that I spend too much time in the mother's room at the meetings and the elders are talking to him about not having his family in subjection. The doctor thinks there may be something wrong but the test results aren't back yet.

    My baby died today. She needed a blood transfusion but of course we couldn't do that. All the elders told my husband what a good man he is to stand up to the doctors and that, if Jehovah wills, we'll have another baby to make up for it. I don't want another baby. I want my little girl back. I WANT MY LITTLE GIRL BACK!!!!

    Okay, I'll take the pill and see if I can sleep. I can't get her out of my mind. It must be my fault somehow. What happened? I did everything right. I stayed virgin until marriage. I married a good Witness. Now he's an elder, so God must approve of us. Can't sleep . . . I'll take another pill, or maybe two. Got to get the images out of my head. It must be me. Maybe I didn't study hard enough. But what if we'd given our little girl that blood transfusion? She'd be alive now, and reaching up to touch my face with two little fat hands . . . no, can't think like that. Wrong. God says "no" to blood transfusions. Take a few more pills. Just want to sle . . . .

    And the elder, after a decent interval of grief (2 months) married a pioneer sister -- in the Kingdom Hall -- and life went on.

    Nina (no, this isn't a true story, but it probably happened somewhere)

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie
    we really need two incomes, but my husband won't let me work. He says it would make him look bad to the other elders. But we manage. I think we'd have more money if he didn't drink so much beer after work, but I know he's stressed. That's probably why he yells at me sometimes. I know I should do better about having everything ready for meeting nights so he doesn't have to rush around.

    This was my first marriage.

    I'll take another pill, or maybe two.

    That was me too. I am glad i didnt die.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    wow Nina, thanks much, ya made me cry dammit.

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