How Do You Make Friends Now?

by exjdub 17 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  blondie

  Actually, making friends is not just a dilemma for ex-JWs. That is why so many books have been written on making and keeping friends.

  I realized that most of the people at the KH were merely acquaintances. The test was how many kept in touch with you when you changed to a congregation in the same town.

  

  Friendship Book: The Art of Making and Keeping Friends by Rita Robinson
  You meet people at work, church, at school, at play and through organizations and activities, but there is an art to developing and maintaining friendships. The Friendship Book is your guide to overcoming the barriers to and reaping the rewards of learning that art.

  The Friendship Book provides information on how to make and nurture friendships, how to maintain old friendships after marriage, how to recover from losing a friend, how to identify the obstacles to friendship and how to overcome those obstacles.

  Interviews with medical and psychology professional are coupled with touching anecdotes from a wide spectrum of people about the ways in which friendship has affected their lives. Insight is provided into many types of friendship: spiritual, supportive, neighborly, business, companionable. Intimate, nurturing.

  

  Making Friends & Making Them Count by Emory A. Griffin , Em Griffin

  

  21 Types of Potentially Negative Friends
  (from WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS by Jan Yager, Ph.D.

  http://www.whenfriendshiphurts.com/21.asp
• 

  cyber-sista

  I realized that most of the people at the KH were merely acquaintances. The test was how many kept in touch with you when you changed to a congregation in the same town.

  Blondie this is so true. When a former congo I was in split I hardly ever saw the people from the other congo even though we had been together over 10 years and lived in the same small town. We never called nor did we hardly ever visit or see each other personally except at an event such as a wedding. ( I personally didn't even have the desire to keep in touch with these people, which seems strange to me now) When I moved out of that town after several years I hardley ever heard from any of those JWs again--even though we had know each other for years only a few kept in touch sporatically. But I still hear from old non-JW friends even in far away places--we never lose touch--some have kept in touch for years no matter how far apart we are --they even stuck with me through my JW daze (Now those are some true friends for you.) From what I experienced friendships in the Org were lacking in some way, maybe because of the fact that we were all so personally restricted in our speech and actions--which I feel resulted in poor and meaningless communication, which is not the kind of thing true friendships are based upon.

  your friend,

  cybs
• 

  copsec

  I have made four of my closest friends through one of my old jobs. We calle each other and chat on-line all the time even though we no longer work together. Only one of us is still at the same place. And we try to all meet once a month for dinner and shopping (except the one who moved out of state but she visits twice a year and we all get together when she is here). They are the best friends I could ever want.
• 

  Eyebrow2

  internet.....when I started to fade away I met some people, but they were pretty far away...one became my husband!

  I made a very good friend at work, even though I moved 2100 miles away we email every few days and talk on the phone often.

  I have had some trouble down here since my hubby and I both work out of our house. However, I have made a few friends that are in Texas on this board.

  I would say look around you at work and see whom you would want to get to know better and start by asking them to go with you to lunch, or talk to them at breaks. A small start...
• 

  Nathan Natas

  Q.: How Do You Make Friends Now?

  A.: Macramé.

  If you buy the cord, I can make one for you.
• 

  Dan-O

  I suppose you could make new friends by cutting up your old friends & assembling the body parts in new & interesting combinations.

  Or you could do what I have done over the years: go talk to people. Introduce yourself. Some will ignore you. Some will tell you to take a hike. And some will respond well. You make friends by being one.

  If you've been a jw for any length of time & have gone out in field service, making new friends is really not that different ... you put forth the effort & start a conversation ... and the plus is that you won't have a fistfull of Watchtowers when you walk up to people, so most of them won't immediately run away screaming.
• 

  got my forty homey?

  I really dont have any friends. I'm cool with my nieghbor who I barbecue with, go to the bar and work on our cars with. At work I have very few people that I'm close with. I think going from the extreme of having JW "friends" and then have "worldly" friends after I left Bethel, I really dont like people and think that in general people are useless eaters and very few have anything substanial to learn things from.

  Except for all of you in here!

  Except for the moderators, they are useless eaters too!
• 

  Dawn

  Special K - I completely relate to your post! Most of my friendships also revovle around my kids and their sports/extra-curricular/school activities. And I have found that I also am bad at maintaining those friendships.

  It is so comforting to find posts like this from others that are going through the same stage as I - makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing!