I blame myself and feel very guilty for what I put my kid through, that is something I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for.
Who do you blame for the time you wasted as a DUB?
by Thunder Rider 66 Replies latest jw friends
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xenawarrior
I blame myself and feel very guilty for what I put my kid through, that is something I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for.
(((kibizzle))) welcome to the board !! I notice that you are fairly new here. I hope that during your stay here you can gain some of the "stuff" that makes it possible for you to heal some and be in a place where you CAN forgive yourself. The thing is, if you don't at some point you will still be allowing them control over your life in a big way. Be gentle with yourself - you were doing the best that you could at the time. XW
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La Capra
I blame my mother, mostly and my father some.
My mother for falling for it and then lying to us kids that my dad believed it was the truth, even though he never became a JW.
I blame my father for never telling us he thought it was the biggest crock, early on, so that we grew up with some perspective.
I don't blame myself too much, because less than a year after I ventured to university (1986) and got some perspective I was out out out.
Shoshana
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got my forty homey?
My Parents. And even after the breaking up of our small family, the hurt, the wasted years, they still go to the kingdom hall. I think if they were told to drink the poison punch they would do that to.
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ignorance is strength
I don't believe in placing blame. Trust in God's providence, things, good and bad, happen so that we can learn from them and improve ourselves.
I like another poster, feel my parents who brought me up in the org are victims too (an it appears my sister will be a baptised victim soon too)
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nilfun
Do what I'm told -- or get dragged by my hair and beaten with an extension cord.
Hmmm. Tough choice...what to do...what to do???
But I guess I was free to choose, hey?
After all, a sound beating now and then wouldn't have any influence on the direction a kid's life takes, now would it?
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happehanna
Myself for many of the years as I knew 'it' was very flawed but went along anyway.
The fear of what to do with my life without 'it' held me back and so much by then had become habit.
But my parents, family etc. are quite happy, continuing to be blind.
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LyinEyes
I was raised and brainwashed as a JW for 35 yrs. I dont blame my parents,,,,,not for JW things, maybe other crap they did to me,,,,,,,but not for that. For they were victims too, as I see it. My father was a hypocrite , still is . My mother was the ulitimate victim,,,,,,but victims of what the WT, took away from them as well as it did me, youth, and what we might all could have been. But it is all water under the bridge.
I blame myself only for the fact that , I was not true to myself. When I knew things were wrong, when I was so physically , mentally sick and didnt care to even get out of bed, I should have not felt so guilty. There was no comfort being a JW, only burdens.
All my life, I loved to learn , study , read, and I always , always wondered why I couldnt read the 'apostate' literature. Deep down , I thought if my faith was strong, there would be nothing that could tear me away from my faith. I wanted to see what was out there in the world, what was being said about my religion, about me in a round about way.
But I put my natural curiosity, my hunger for knowlege on the back burner in favor of obedience.
Now that I do blame myself for . But ya know what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I finally did it!!!!!!!! For so many years I didnt dare touch "apostate" material, material from other churches, or listen to others about their religion.
One day,,,,,,,,, I felt strong, free and felt I had nothing to lose but to find out .
That was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. That one act of doing what I have always thought to be a normal human right, that of knowlegde, I was able to finally , act on that and it has lead me to a whole new life, full of so much . There are so many experiences, places I want to go, things to see, and I know that if I don't do these things now,,,,,,,, then for sure I only have myself to blame.
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gespro
Do we blame tobacco companies because they make cigaretts and people choose to smoke them? This statement is goofy on a couple of levels. When the old cig ads on TV were running, were you even aware of the subliminal seduction that was used by these ad companines. When a young mind is subjected to this sort of thing, the thought is imbedded, even for life! Smoking is an occupational hazard for some people. [I got hooked on second hand smoke working i clubs.Wish I could go back and sue the club owner for having an inadequete ventilation system. So, who do I blame folks?] Tobacco smoke is addictive. Some people have won money in court because they blamed the tobacco companies for 1) making it available,2) for imbedding the thoughts making it a desirable thing to use tobacco through use of the media and 3)making them terminally ill. Subliminal Manipulation is a dangerous, powerful device when it comes to mind/thought control. The borg made us do some outrageous stuff through some subtle devices. I was born into it and knew of nothing else. Maybe we should re-phrase the main question to: Who are you angry at for the time you wasted as a Dub? You have evry right to be angry at whomever because eventually you'll grieve the losses and you will move on. No one here has the right to tell an individual they shouldn't blame some one or something. That's belittling those of us who are trying to heal[I see some of these comments]. Forgiveness is a process. If it's instantaneous, I tend to think it's not real. So by all means VENT and GRIEVE and then you will move on to the next step and become whole again