DATING OLDER MEN/WOMEN

by sandy 48 Replies latest social relationships

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  beebee

  I put spaces and breaks in that post. How come they didn't show up?
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  Pleasuredome

  i know a 19yo girl who's boyfriend is 42, and to look at them you wouldn't think they were there were anymore than 10 years difference between them. if it works, then good.

  i've always been into the older lady, but i'm starting to catch up with that 'older lady' age group i always went for!
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  czarofmischief

  You know what - it really doesn't matter. It's what you both want out of life that matters, and if they goals coincide enough, then there can be a lot of fun. Believe me, it is hard to find someone that you can have fun with for the rest of your life - so if you both have the same rough idea of a good time, then go to!

  plus. older chicks have money. Yeah!

  CZAR
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  Mulan

  Last time I saw him, I think he was about 25 years old and he'd gained about 100 pounds and didn't look a day under 40.

  I know a couple like that. She was 40 and he was 20 when they got married about 8 years ago. She had a 16 year old pretty daughter, and that worried me. But I think he loved his wife on some level, but she had money, and neither of them worked. She pioneered, he gained a LOT of weight, and learned how to make beer, and waste time.

  She got divorced a few months ago. She has to pay to put him through college now. Glad he got a good lawyer.

  My brother recently ended an almost 20 year relationship with a woman who is 18 years younger than he is. They were very devoted, but she wanted to have a baby, and my bro made it clear that he had raised his children and didn't want anothr twenty year project. He meant it. She finally put too much pressure on him, now that she is 42, and they have been split for several months, and it really is over. I feel badly for her, because it's unlikely she will have children now. She always thought she would change his mind.

  On the other hand, my father remarried a 27 year old woman (she is a year younger than I am), when he was 60. They had two children together and she divorced him when he was about 70 I think. That age difference was just TOO much of one. She loved him though. I was cleaning out some of Dad's things yesterday and found letters that she wrote to him, during the divorce. I always wondered what the issue was, and learned it was that she did not want herself or the children to be forced to be JW's and Dad was pushing it. He had been disfellowshipped, and finally got reinstated and got very zealous to convert his family.
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  talesin

  I will say though that women tend to want far more sex at 40 than most men 40 or older

  I tried dating someone my own age last year, and not for the first time. The above was SO true. I'll stick to the younger guys, thank you very much. Not only that, I'm still feeling/acting like a teenager. Most men my age (in my experience) just wanna sit around and watch the tube - how boring is that???

  GO FOR IT!

  *Love doesn't ask for ID*

  There are no guarantees, no matter what your age difference. Sometimes we just have to 'take a chance on love'.

  BTW, welcome to the board!

  talesin

  Edit, forgot to add

  <tick><tick><tick><tick><tick><tick>

  Nos, you crack me up !!! LMAO !
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  DanTheMan

  My last year that I was in the troof I briefly dated a woman in my cong who was 21 years my senior (I was 30, she was 51).

  I can't even tell you how crazy I was about her, I've never had that sort of chemistry with a woman, and I wonder if I ever will again. She was so beautiful and sexy. I was so comfortable around her, which is usually not the case with me and attractive women.

  She ended up dumping me for a bro that had more money (she was deep in debt and I didn't have the cash to bail her out) and he was an unquestioning loyal believer like she was, whereas I was more on the fence and was beginning to express to other JW's (her included) that I just wasn't sure That I believed everything that we were supposed to believe.

  But it was inevitable that the relationship wouldn't work. I couldn't imagine being 39 and being married to someone who was 60, it would have been so awkward, for me anyway.

  However I do believe that if I ever fall in love like that again that it would have to be with an older woman, somebody at least 10 years or so older than me. You could probably go to town with a Freudian-type of analysis of why it is that I'm attracted to older women, but I can't help it - that's just how I am.
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  Sassy

  You know it is funny... but Sally and I went out the other night and ran into a guy that works for the same company that my bf and she work for.. my bf asked me this morning if there was anyone in that bar the other night I found attractive.. where there was one.........but he was surrounded by a table of women.. any way.. I did add.. well really that guy that you guys work with (mybf doesn't know him.. different office).. he was pretty good looking.. older I said.. but good looking.. then I paused and laughed.. well come to think of it..he is probably my age.. my bf laughed.. he said yeah.. you are always robbing the cradle! Can I help it if I look 10-15 yrs younger than I am? and even my own heart doesn't know it??

  that is why I saw.. date what feels comfy.. if you connect, age doesn't have to matter.. (within reason of course though)
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  Lady Lee

  Well I have been in a relationship with a man 13 years younger than me and have dated men both younger and older (as much as 30 years older although he had to show me his driver's license before I would believe he was as old as he said he was).

  Sometimes it is the little things that destroy a relationship. There were a lot of wonderful things about these men. We got along really well most of the time. But it was those little things that got us in the end.

  Coming from different decades meant different perspectives on the world, different types of music for example. The fellow who was 13 years younger was heavy into hard rock. I am an easy listening person. Needless to say we both had a hard time listening to music in the house. The same goes for the types of movies we watch so we have learned to watch our own movies when the other isn't around

  Sometimes the values are different - and you just have to learn there are some topics you don't discuss or just agree to disagree.

  Another discovery is that people change when marriage gets in the picture. They seem to fall back on the old rules they grew up with. I think (and it is just my opinion) that younger men are for the most part more open to sharing the load around the house, while older men will expect the woman to take the greater load. Of course there are exceptions.

  And of course let's not forget that all the wonderful things that help you fall in love with someone can become the things that drive you apart.

  But each person is different. You have to measure your interests and his and estimate where that will be in 40 years.
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  Sassy

  You know this subject actually brings to mind similar threads I replied on .........on the JW boards I was on .. in the past. Well you know what those ones said that were for not caring about age... that soon the paradise will be here and so it really doesn't matter how old you are because before long you'll grow to that perfect "age" in the new system..

  WELL NOW THAT I DON'T BELIEVE ALL THAT ANY MORE.... .hmmmmmmm

  My dad married a woman who was 13 yrs older than he was. AT the time he was about 40. I remember she was hesistant to marry him because of their ages. She loved him, but she worried what would happen as she aged.. my dad didn't worry about that. Well as it turned out only 8 yrs or so into their marriage, she developed alzheimers.. and their lives disintegrated slowly.. now it sure could have happened even if they were the same age, so really age wasn't a factor. No one could have seen it comiing.......

  Now my mom married two men younger than her. The 2nd husband was only 3 yrs older than me.. He, died of brain cancer a short while after they were married, so their lives together were short. But they were happy. Her current husband is ten yrs younger than she is.. but he has enough aches and pains that one would honestly think to look at them, that she is the younger one. I know that most people have no clue my mother and "an older woman' with him.. they are also happy.

  Now I've dated older, I've dated younger. Sometimes ages makes a difference if one is caught up in thinking they are too old to do this.. or too young to do that.. if your relationship is always reminded by one's actions that there is an age gap, then it can be a problem...if you aren't reminded.. then I guess it really isn't all that important..
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  WhyNow2000

  When I was a witness, one of my kinda-friends, who was 18 years old at the time married a widowed witness woman that was 60+ years old.

  18 + 60 = SEX