Hi, I'm Kibi!

by kibizzle 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • kibizzle

    Hello all!

    I just found this sight today and have not had time to read very many posts, but I can relate to some of the ones I have read thus far.

    I have been a JW for only 2yrs. but have had doubts for about 6mo. now. I began reading material outside the WTS such as "Crisis of Conscience".

    I was shocked at the things I've found and went through a bout of depression. I have not been to a meeting or in service for a couple of months and cannot bring myself to go. I am in the process of disassociating myself from the org.

    My husband has been a JW all his life and although he has no doubts of his own, he has ceased all activity in the past month. He is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I simply no longer believe the society is Jehovah's inspired organization.

    He has tried to reason with me and says the info. on the net is put there by satan. He says Ray Frantz's book is apostate literature and full of lies. He refuses to believe that the UN involvement is even true. The proof I have shown him he says could be fabricated. It's all a big conspiracy by Satan to turn us all from the WTS.

    It is so frustrating to see such paranoia and have him justify everything the organization does. He says the stories I read on the internet are a fabrication designed by apostates and satan.

    I have always disagreed with the df'ing proceedures but other doubts have slowly crept into my head as I have read material about the miscalculated dates stemming from the actual date of the fall of Jerusalem, the silent lambs, the secrecy in which the government body operates, the questionable process the NWT was translated in, etc., etc., etc.,

    I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer associate myself with a group that I don't believe actually has the entire truth. My husband argues that they are the closest to the only true religion. To me CLOSE just doesn't cut it.

    Thank you for letting me introduce myself and share my story. I look forward to reading your posts and any advice you have. I am so thankful there is a forum that we can share our diverse experiences and lend emotional support.



  • five_crew

    Good for you Kibi. I know it is hard to get away from the organization. Every few years I go through a bout of depression and tell myself maybe I should just try again. I knew many good people within the organization, but doesn't every organization have a few good people. I still find myself agreeing with the things that they teach. But I have seen within my own life a wonderful relationship with God and his many blessings since leaving the organization. All you can do is what God tells you to do in your heart. Satan will try to dissuade you from your convictions any way that he can. Good Luck to you.

  • calamityjane

    Woohoo!! another newbie. Welcome to the Board.



  • Navigator

    Being just plain wrong on so many things is the least of the troubles of the WTBTS. How will they answer to God for the damage they have done to families by their shunning policies and their protection of pedophiles? Welcome to the board!

  • codeblue

    Welcome Kibi!

    Keep doing your research. The fact that your husband has been inactive for a month (despite no doubts) is saying an unsaid message, "he probably has doubts too". Being that he has always been a JW...(like myself), when you first start feeling a little like "something is wrong" is a huge step for him. Also, he has been told that it is" the mouthpiece of Jehovah"...so he is scared. Don't push him...let him come to this on his on conclusions and research.


  • New Castles
    New Castles


    I so know what you mean...My wife and I have been inactive for about a month but still she is skeptical to what I show her. Keep on there, its very fulfilling to see the real truth about this org. I have hope that both our spouses will join us soon. Hang in there, and thanks for sharing your great story!

  • Leolaia

    Welcome Kibi!!! It's scary how the WT fosters such paranoia. I hope your husband will realize the grip the WT has on his mind and figure out that dissenters and those who think WRONG THOUGHTS are not agents of Satan, unhatching his evil wicked schemes.... It would be hilarious if it were not so tragic.

  • Sunspot

    Welcome Kibi!!! Nice to have you here!

    I've been DAed (wrote a letter telling them *I* didn't want to be part of THEIR organization any more) after 30+ years as a loyal slave for the WTS.

    I have a good hunch that your hubby will be coming out eventually, it may take longer for him to be convinced that the WTS really IS a bunch of arrogant liars, and that Satan isn't in charge of the internet, LOL!

    Looking forward to see more of your comments...



  • seeitallclearlynow

    Welcome Kibi!

    So nice to have you here. I'm glad it didn't take you long to realize the truth about the controlling organization you and your husband have been a part of. Most of us take a very long time unfortunately!

    I hope you stay around here and look at the other informative sites too, maybe listen to the audio experiences over on jwinfoline and Tower to Truth. Those might seem more real to your husband.

    It is interesting that your husband has not been active for a little while, in spite of his claims to have no doubts. It could very well be that he fears exposing his own doubts.

    Best to you both!

  • lollydawdle

    Welcome, Kibi! Glad you were only in for 2 years. I was a JW for 30 years. Went in at 19, the only one in my family. Married a new JW, raised 2 kids as JW's (who are still in). Saw some discrepancies over the years, but kept excusing them. Finally left in 1995. Never df'd nor da'd, so my kids still speak to me. Just stopped going. Spent 8 years without God, not knowing what to believe. Last summer I privately accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I've never felt so close to God in 30 years of book learning! If your husband isn't going, he's definitely having doubts of his own. Take heart. He'll come to his senses when you least expect it. Thanks for sharing your story.

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