Things you have to believe to be a Democrat & Liberal definitions:

by Love_Truth 16 Replies latest social humour

  • Love_Truth
    Love_Truth

    1. Raise Taxes
    2. Let the UN handle National Security
    3. Provide Daily Body Counts
    4. Report and Advance Saddam's Side of the Story
    5. Hate Bush
    6. Trash Bush
    7. Oppose aggressive actions against Terrorists
    8. Raise Taxes
    9. Aid and abet America's Enemies in War.
    10. Lie alot.
    11. Pass Campaign Finance Reform and take record cash donations from Foreign Govts and Billionaire Convicted Insider traders.
    12. Oppose real Choice for Education..
    13. Persecute the Christians.
    14. Save the whales and lizards but fight for the right to kill unborn babies.
    15. Sellout to Socialism and Communism..without remorse and actually brag about it.
    16. Promote, fear, chaos, anarchy and hate.
    17. Dont acknowledge that over 100 Million people were killed in the 20th Century by Communist/Democrat Tyrants trying to force the same system on the World the Democrats currently represent.
    18. Label anyone a Neanderthal that is a minority and doesnt tow the Democratic Party Line.
    19. Shout down and personally attack any news organization that doesn?t spread Democratic Propaganda.

    Definitions of common terms from the Liberal Dictionary:

    "Truth"- 1. Any innuendo, rumor, conspiracy theory, or Internet hysteria that is criticizes George W. Bush or the Bush Administration...2. Any criticism by a Republican with a personal agenda, or bitterness, along the same lines as #1.

    "Lies"- Any evidence that refutes the "Truth".

    "Lying Cons"- Anyone who says that the "Truth" is false.

    "Stupid Cons"- Anyone who PROVES that the "Truth" is false.

    "Halliburton"- The evil, vast, world-encompassing corporation owned by "Bush friends" that is responsible for all calamities and the fact that the socialist utopia, that is enjoyed by Europe, hasn't come to pass in America.

    "fascist"- Someone who disagrees with a liberal.

    "Nazi"- Someone who disagrees with a liberal AND presents evidence of their failures.

    "evil Nazi"- Someone who disagrees with a liberal AND presents evidence of liberal failures AND the liberal can't refute the evidence.

    "The Economy"- An effect on the United States that is completely under the control of the Presidency (such as Bill Clinton), yet Bush "decided" to ruin it to somehow "improve his re-election chances"???

    "Jobless rate"- A number that will never improve, or, if it does improve, isn't "really" improving, atleast while Bush is in office.

    "sell-out"- Any white male Democrat, or ANY black, woman, Hispanic, or gay who does not follow in lock-step with the Democratic Party talking points or its agenda.

    "Patriot Act"- A fascist, totalitarian series of measures that will ultimately take away all of our rights....any day now....hang on....it's due any minute now...any second....hold on....any minute now....just a sec.....

    "Homeland Security"- Something all liberals "support", yet they will propose nothing to cause it to actually occur.

    "Iraqi dissidents"- Valiant freedom fighters who are trying to liberate their country from evil Bush oppression.

    "Osama bin Laden"- On-the-run terrorist leader, who, while he is at large, is proof of Bush's failure and whose future capture will be "not that big a deal".

    "racial uniters"- Democrats like Bill Clinton and Howard Dean who "talk" about improving race relations, but don't exactly "do" anything about it.

    "racist"- Republicans only, including Colin Powell, Condaleeza Rice, and Clarence Thomas.

    "Anti-Latino"- Racist Republicans like Pat Buchanan who speak out against pro-immigration policies.

    "Pro-American worker"- Democrats and liberals who speak out against pro-immigration policies.

    "rabid right-winger nutjob"- Anyone to the right of Dick Gephardt

    "centrist"- Howard Dean or equivalent

    "moderate"- Dennis Kucinich or equivalent

    "somewhat to the left"- Fidel Castro

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Wow, did you think that all up by yourself?

  • Badger
    Badger

    1. Raise Taxes

    yep on this...or, at least, not continually cutting those of the top 1.5% richest...

    2. Let the UN handle National Security

    No...just Iraqi Security...That would've saved over 550 American Soldiers

    3. Provide Daily Body Counts

    Why not? Scared of the Numbers?

    4. Report and Advance Saddam's Side of the Story

    Rummy's done enough of that...

    alt
    5. Hate Bush
    6. Trash Bush

    Check, check...Good that you point out Bush, though, since I do like most Repubs.

    7. Oppose aggressive actions against Terrorists

    Wrong there, bud...100% for Afghanistan...But ZERO of the 9/11 attackers were from Iraq. I FAVOR aggressive action against Saudi Arabia...do YOU?

    8. Raise Taxes

    Didn't you already use this one?

    9. Aid and abet America's Enemies in War.

    That's Treason...pretty strong charge...just look at my Rumsfeld/Saddam barbeque pic before you start throwing a death sentence charge at me.

    10. Lie alot.

    You don't want to even start down that road.

    11. Pass Campaign Finance Reform and take record cash donations from Foreign Govts and Billionaire Convicted Insider traders.

    Like Ken Lay, who you let pratically write our national energy policy?

    12. Oppose real Choice for Education..

    I'm in the Public School trenches every day, doing my part to help out those that private school would turn away (choice is only for the private schools, their rejects would go back)...What are YOU doing?

    13. Persecute the Christians.

    I am one. And Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell could use some persecution

    14. Save the whales and lizards but fight for the right to kill unborn babies.

    ...Too bad you wind up cutting Head Start, Pre-natal care, and education funding once they ARE born babies.

    15. Sellout to Socialism and Communism..without remorse and actually brag about it.

    Truman, Kennedy, LBJ, Carter all fought the Cold War too. Regulation isn't socialism.

    16. Promote, fear, chaos, anarchy and hate.

    No, I don't read Ann Coulter.

    17. Dont acknowledge that over 100 Million people were killed in the 20th Century by Communist/Democrat Tyrants trying to force the same system on the World the Democrats currently represent.

    Stalin was a butcher. To lump everyone to the left of John McCain as a Communist is at best mistaken and at worst McCarthyism (can't blame us for that one, eh?)

    18. Label anyone a Neanderthal that is a minority and doesnt tow the Democratic Party Line.

    When did this happen?

    19. Shout down and personally attack any news organization that doesn?t spread Democratic Propaganda.

    Hey, Clear Channel is the one cracking down on the Dixie Chicks and Howard Stern for beign anti-Bush...and O'Reilly was the guy who tried to sue Al Franken. As for Rush, he screwed himself.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    Damn...I just came over to do this to this list, after just having annotated the Republican one... and Badger beat me to it.

    At least that list was funny... this one was just insipid whining.

  • RubyTuesday
    RubyTuesday

    I like 14 and 17 the best.

    ...Too bad you wind up cutting Head Start, Pre-natal care, and education funding once they ARE born babies.

    Oh yeah...much better to just murder them first.

  • RubyTuesday
    RubyTuesday
    At least that list was funny... this one was just insipid whining.

    If you can't debate the person...just insult him.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, I didn't insult anyone. I made a comment on their communication... but not anyone personally.

    Things that you have to believe to be a Democrat today ? the funny version:

    (Written by a real Democrat!)

    1) That even though the country needs good leadership in these troubling times, you should still be interviewed on TV in an exit poll publicly endorsing Mickey Mouse over George Bush.

    2) That even though the most important issues to you in the last 20 years were affirmative action, gun control, and <limiting> free trade, you can convince yourself to vote for John Kerry ? not because he?s come out in favor of any of these, but because he?s better than Mickey Mouse (who is better than GWB ? see above)

    3) That after Kerry?s elected, the makeup of Congress would somehow, defying all local trends in key states, magically change as well, avoiding partisan gridlock.

    4) That tweaking NAFTA and GATT only slightly could stanch the flow of jobs overseas that has been accelerating for 20 years ? but that backing out of these treaties would be more defensible than walking out of the ABM treaty or the Kyoto treaty.

    5) That a Democratic president gets a magic wand to use to fix health care.

    6) That more than a handful of voters will vote based on environmental policy when they are worried about dying in a terrorist attack while standing in line to apply for a job at Burger King.

    7) That by November, after what looks to be a terribly divisive and negative campaign, there will be anyone left who wants to show up and vote (negativity tends to drive turnout down?)

    <edited to insert the word "limiting" in front of "free trade">

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    8) that Karl Rove is Satan incarnate... just with a gut.

    9) That Halliburton is run by Dick Cheny using top-secret defense technology to track the secret accounts in Switzerland.

    10) That Judge Roy Moore running for prez on the Constitution Party ticket would be good for the country, rather than a sad commentary on the descent of our nation into tomfoolery.

  • RubyTuesday
    RubyTuesday

    phantom, phantom,phantom....you never did accept my peace offering. You know you want to be my friend. Come on now..just admit

  • FirstInLine
    FirstInLine

    I want to be your friend... ya misguided republican fascist.

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