Never Told Anyone this...

by gespro 21 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  A Paduan

  A jw who had lied at and seriously upset my family one day came to the door - after my rather strong words, my primary school age son told him to go away and that "he didn't know one plus one" - in hindsight my young son was very astute in saying such a thing.

  Anyway, the jw stared at my son and then yelled to me that he should be taken to with a rod.

  Now, years later, his own son suffered a rare ambush by some gang types and beaten with a baseball bat - totally unheard of sort of thing around here............unusual?
• 

  Nosferatu

  I can relate. I was the victim of physical abuse. I've been beat in the head with a wooden hairbrush. Those things hurt.

  As for meetings being more important than health, I remember my first athsma attack. It was a Thursday night around 6:00pm - a meeting night, and I was having trouble breathing. I told my mother and she said, "You're faking it. Get ready for the meeting". Those who have athsma know that almost any kind of physical activity causes even more shortness of breath. So I got up and grabbed my polyester pants. I was breathing worse from this simple activity. I couldn't get ready. I was threatened to be beaten if I didn't get ready for the meeting. I tried getting dressed, but I could still barely breathe. Finally, my mother went to the meeting by herself.

  When she came back from the meeting, I still wasn't breathing very good. It was now bedtime. It was only then that she started to believe me. She got out the vaporizer, and tried to get me to lay down. It was bedtime. I couldn't lay down because I had more trouble breathing. Crouching over was the only comfortable position. So finally, at 11:30pm I was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Athsma.
• 

  Special K

  Hi Gespro....

  It's true that sometimes as children our parents took up all that feeling.. "the anger one".. and left no appropriate anger for anyone else in the house.

  If you are suffereing from bouts of unknown anger.. I think maybe you have just discovered the source..."child abuse".

  That is exactly what your mother did to you."child abuse"..

  Proper counselling with a good therapist would be my first step. It sounds like you have already begun to take your mom off that pedestal of "honor your parent".

  Honor and respect is something that is to be earned.

  Children have rights too...You had rights as a child just like you have rights now. You had the right not to be physically smashed on top of the head and abused in this way.

  sincerely thinking of you ((( hugs)))

  special K
• 

  Loris

  Thus the dynamics of the True Believer.

  The idea, belief, doctrine, concept is of such great value in the mind of the True Believer that they put themselves and their children in a position to protect, defend and honor that Belief no matter what the cost. They are a true martyr of "The Cause"

  The children of a True Believer are victims of collateral damage. Nothing can get in the way of fulfilling the committment to the Belief.

  The value of the self and by extension the children is tied with the Belief in some emotional way. To give value to the self separate from the Belief is unthinkable.

  Going to the convention is of far greater importance than the safety and comfort of a small child. Obsession to the max.

  One more reason to hate the WT. They take away the natural affection of a parent for a child and suck it up for themselves.

  (((((Gespro))))) Forgive your mother, she was duped just like millions of others.

  Loris
• 

  morty

  ((((((gespro))))))

  There damn problem is sweeping everything under the rug.....

  I am so sorry you have this terriable memory.....

  Time is a powerful healer....

  I hope in time you will feel better......

  ((((hugs))))

  Morty
• 

  nilfun

  *has a catch in her throat*

  Gespro, I'm so sorry. You deserved better than that! ((Gespro)).
• 

  Country Girl

  What a horrible thing to have happen, (((((Gespro)))).

  My JW mom was similar to yours. Her little fits of anger would result in whoopins with whatever was nearest: percolator cord, broom, belt, wooden spoon: and they were frequent. One time I was around 6 and was crying so hard because my legs ached so badly that I couldn't stop moving them. She said I was "faking it" and trying to "get attention." That was one of her more frequent sayings. I still have those aches to this day. It wounded what little thought of love that I thought she had for me. She just let me lay on the floor and cry. In my own case, it caused me to have difficulty being empathetic with people. I have worked hard to overcome this trait, and am making strides in conquering it. The only people I can't seem to have empathy for is the Witnesses.

  I wondered, did it do the same to you? Since someone (your Mother) didn't have empathy for you, do you have difficulty being empathetic to others?

  Hugs to you,

  CG
• 

  itsallgoodnow

  Naturally Witnesses are ok with child abuse as long as they keep it out of their KH parking lots - I always heard about how great the "rod" is and how stupid Dr. Spock was. It's in line with all the other abusive thinking.

  My parents rewrite their history (hmm, remind you of a certain organization who re-writes its history?) and tell us they never hit us... what the hell was that belt for, and why the hell do I remember it being used on me? What was that blue stuff all over me the next day? Those couldn't have been bruises could they? Then, I never considered that abuse. Now I know better.

  I'm sorry your Mom was so cold. Harshness is a JW characteristic. We've all experienced that in one way or another. Our lives as children were all at risk - our parents would rather have us die than give us a blood transfusion. It's amazing some of us are doing ok now... and it's a testament to how strong our spirit is within us!

  A.
• 

  Nosferatu

  My parents rewrite their history (hmm, remind you of a certain organization who re-writes its history?) and tell us they never hit us... what the hell was that belt for, and why the hell do I remember it being used on me? What was that blue stuff all over me the next day?

  Itsallgood, I have the same experience. You should hear my mother's version of the athsma attack story. She was such a hero. Also, apparently she only hit me once in my lifetime. Seems like the wooden hairbrush, the bamboo backscratcher, and the nail marks on my neck were all a figment of my imagination.
• 

  shotgun

  Sorry gespro....its awful to have and hold bad memories of abuse from the ones we should have felt the safest with.

  How did she explain the shaved spot on your head?

  I suppose from looking at your avatar she may have had other things to explain as well...

  Couldn't help myself gespro..life is short and you have to seize every opportunity to pick and tease or they're gone forever.