I need to get a life

by DazedAndConfused 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Wasa -

    "It says to me..." may be nowhere near what actually went on in the person's head when they made their comments public.

    I agree with you that no one should automatically assume the worst when dealing with posters. I was wrong to do so with Dazed and I really do hope that she will accept my apology.

    Wasa, you and I were one of the few involved in the ugly thread the other night, and you saw how I reacted then. For what it is worth, the other thread that Dazed refers to in this thread in which she asked questions under a different screen name regarding deletion rules was amazingly similar to the thread the other night. In fact, we even got a guest appearance by an angry disgruntled and deleted poster who expounded upon Dazed's questions. By the time I posted my "accusations" it looked an awful lot like there was collusion between Dazed and the deleted and angry poster. I have apologized to Dazed for what I said in the other thread, but I also wanted to make it known that I don't go around and just hop on people because I don't like the questions they ask. I only do so when there are other circumstances going on - which happened in Dazed's other post and the one in which we were involved the other night - and when the questions are being asked publically.

    The reason I have issues with people who ask questions which "question the management" in a public forum - whether they are intending to stir the pot or not is because I used to be the manager of an extremely large department (600+ people) and was in the same position Simon is in here. I was constantly being questioned in public for things that I needed to do in which the people who were questioning only knew a minute portion of the whole story - or who, quite frankly, were not entitled to an explanation for various reasons. Most of the time, it was because if I gave a full explanation, it would require me to divulge confidential information. This is a lose-lose situation all around - and it does not help matters to have that waved in the wind in a public setting. Therefore, it didn't take long for me to loathe this approach. That is why I personally believe that even if someone has a question that could even remotely cause animosity, it needs to be discussed in private. I'm not bashing people for asking these types of questions - especially if they genuinely want to know the answer - or if the question NEEDS to be asked - I'm simply pointing out that there are better venues in which to ask them. If I come across harshly, it is not my intention. It is just that I feel that strongly about it. We all have our little quirks... this is mine.

    Hope this helps to understand why I can be the way I am. Will you love me anyway?!

    growedup

    P.S. I have a feeling if you bat your eyes the next time you try to get Pope to break his vows of celibacy, you just might get him to cave in! Try it! I bet it works!

  • wasasister
    wasasister

    growedup: I absolutely respect where you're coming from. I'm a manager myself.

    I used your comments as an example of something which goes on all the time on a much broader scale. I hope you don't take offense that I singled out your comment. Nothing personal was intended. You and I had a very reasonable PM exchange the other day, and I appreciated your efforts very much.

    It's interesting how much our personal history goes into how we filter information, isn't it?

    Warmest regards,

    Wasa/practicing the eye-batting technique

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Sorry gals, eye-batting won''t work. Especially if the eye-batting frequency matches my Parkinsons' tremors....

    Pope

  • wasasister
    wasasister

    Au contraire, mon ami.

    If my eye-batting exactly matches the frequency of your tremors, you will appear perfect in my eyes. Sort of like waching an epileptic under a strobe light.

    What's under those robes besides your holy staff?

    Wasa

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Wasa -

    No worries! I didn't think you were upset with me, but I thought I'd just make sure! Thanks for responding!

    growedup

    P.S. LOL @ you and Pope! fwiw- I think Pope is just playing "hard to get"!

  • Valis
    Valis
    but I also wanted to make it known that I don't go around and just hop on people

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    I have to admit that I am getting to the end of my 'how much am I going to keep coming here' lately mode. I can not thank those involved with the board enough for the fact that when I joined (inspite of the fact I once came here to seek out apostates hitting the JW board I admined on), when I did come here after leaving the WTS, I was welcomed. The friends here helped me realize I wasn't crazy and I have made some awesome friends here. The value I received from coming here I could never put a value on. Hell I would have gone through life, no doubt not being a JW, but eternally damning myself for the guilt of not being one and in many ways not truly enjoying life because of that guilt. This site, the members here helped me realize I wasn't alone in my scars and baggage from being raised a JW and even more so, opened my eyes to realizing that this organization is not the 'true religion' it claims to be.

    However, it is hard lately to deal with the stuff going on. One thread gets closed and another one opens with someone whining or complaining about something that admins have done. (this is not a direct slam on you Dazed, it is merely the needle that broke the camels back for me). I have enough stress to deal with getting out of the WTS, but coming here and seeing threads with so much anger, or frustrations or hurts being airred publicly is ruining it for those of us trying to behave and appreciate this discussion board. I'm so glad my bf doesn't read this board because although I know he has wondered why I have a need for this place, he sees enough stress of me dealing with my exit issues, if he read the other crap that goes on, he would be on me to quit.

    I have no idea if I will.. but I just have to admit I'm really tired of the complaining. This one will end and no doubt another person will open a new one. People are spending more time getting caught up in the moods in these threads than spending time on quality threads. The whole purpose in being here is changing..

    ok.. I'm off my soapbox.. sorry for my rant..

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Sassy -

    Thank you for your .02 on this. I am so glad to know it is not just me that is so dang sick of all this. Although I have posted on other boards prior to JWD, it has never occured to me to actually stick around for any length of time. But there was something different about this place - the sense of community, the support that went out towards one another, the comraderie. And I ended up becoming a part of it - or should I say, it ended up becoming a part of me. I've truly grown to love everyone in here - even the ones most deserving of noogies - and it hurts me to see someone come in here and stomp on our parade. Maybe it's me who needs to get a life - I don't know - but for now, I am happy here, and it ticks me off when someone else has to bring a bad attitude in here and spoil it for those of us who are happy. This is not to say that Dazed has a bad attitude - I do believe this has been a big mix-up. However, there are others who come in here with the intent to sabatage, and I don't like that. I'm glad to see that I am not the only one who feels that way.

    growedup

    Valis - You are a naughty monkey! Repent! Repent! (The Pope is watching!)

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Imallgrowedup,

    same feelings here. I actually deleted the site from my Favourites, I have been so tired of all the hassles the boards are going through....I look forward to the day the walls between people come down. If it happened in Berlin after all those years, surely it also can happen to some insignificant (in the sense of "the-big-picture") forums on the Internet. I mean, how important is this healing stuff really, compared to kids getting killed in Iraq and Palestine by mortars and bullets while playing in their backyards? How important is it if a doubting JW visits this site and stumbles across a thread where some "heavy-debating" is going on? So what if he decides the "world" is too dangerous and he remains a JW? There ARE worse things in life than remaining a JW. Lets start by talking about the way Aborigines are treated in Australia, shall we? Sometimes I feel we in the Western world are too self-centred. We should make the effort and volunteer in a hospital or hospice or old-folks home, try to think more of the big-picture and other people, rather than our own troubles and tribulations.

    Anyway thats a bit of a rant. About Valis: please don't tell me I have to spank that bad monkey again today!! Pope is getting too old for that...

    Pope

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Pope,

    You certainly have a way of putting things in perspective. You are right. What is happening with the dissention, although frustrating, is not anything compared to people who live with the ravage of war everyday, or in cultures that make our lives seem down-right royal in comparison. What an interesting correlation you make, really, because it really shows why there are wars fought for stupid reasons. But I digress!

    Anyway, I am imploring you to do something about the naughty monkey, and while I'm at it, I wanted to put in a good word for Wasa. She will only lead you a little astray!

    growedup

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