Welcome to the forum. In many ways you remind me of me at your age. The number one thing, before anything else, that I strongly suggest is DON'T GET MARRIED IN THE CONGREGATION. As is, although you have better choices, but your decisions are not easy to make.
The path that I took when confronted with a similar situation was finding some biblical reason to work full time. The way I framed is that I was "preparing to form my own family, and I want to support a nice pioneer wife". You may feel like a bigger hypocrite doing that, and it's definitely a lie if you (like I did) had no intention of following through with it, but it took the pressure from people in the congregation.
Also, regardless of what you do, including if you decide to stay in the congregation, try to push back from too many people being in your business.
Another suggestion is to make a physical change that can help you start over in a new congregation. You can go to a congregation in your first language. In the new congregation where no one knows you (or barely), you have a better handle of people around you.
In essence, at the end of the day, this is your life other people are playing with. Although you have an advantage of already having a college degree (even if you decided to pioneer now, your degree can still be useful in the future), the larger issue is the organization and/or some people in your congregation being too deep into your business, some of them in the form of looking up to you and expecting you to be a role model to them.
Regardless of what you choose to do, having so many people in your business is a key issue to address. It's not easy since the WT promotes this black-and-white mentality that you are either all for them or against them.
The two things keeping me from stepping down are:
1. Uncertainty and fear. I'm a born in, I've never lived in the world and even during University, I went to classes and had the least possible relationship with "wordly people".
This one is definitely something I relate to. Looking back, what helped me was a few things I went into "the world" with:
- My attitude. I was not afraid of the world. I saw my life as a blank canvass where I can paint whatever I want. If you have been through college, you now have an idea that the world is nothing like the WT says it is. I was born-in too, but my JW experience was so bad that I decided that there's no way that the world can be worse. Embrace the world.
- I didn't become "anti-JW". This is very important to remember. The negative influence of the JWs, again, it's very black-and-white. Just because you are no longer a JW, it doesn't mean that you have to do the opposite of what they teach. It is good advice to stay away from drugs, there are things about maintaining a healthy lifestyle that some of the JW teachings promote. From the JW teachings, keep what is good for you and protect you from making poor decisions.
- Similar to the previous one, also notice that not only the WT teaches everything that you are supposed to do, but it also convinces people of what they are supposed to be/become if they leave. DON'T LET THAT NONSENSE INFLUENCE YOUR DECISIONS. At the end of the day, the WT has no authority over you, and you are the one deciding where you will be taking your life.
- Prepare for things not going well. A number of people become isolated, depressed or even suicidal because life happens and they think that a bad event (an accident, illness, financial problems) are somehow consequences of leaving that organization. THAT IS NONSENSE. The sooner you realize that, the better for you.
- Prepare a support system but use good judgement when letting certain people in your life. make good friends, but stay away from other people who may not be of good influence to your life.
- STAY AWAY FROM OTHER CULTS. Look for your own spiritual path, but that should not be the only thing in your life; in fact, I didn't look for any spirituality for decades. I had too much shoved down my throat in the congregation.
2. Pressure from family, friends, brothers... They all expect me to continue doing things the same way I've been doing all these years.
Learn to set boundaries. My best guess is that all those who pressure you (a) have jobs, probably full time, (b) have their own families, (c) are not pioneers themselves. There are a lot of JWs who loooooove to "encourage" others to do the things they themselves don't do, nor they have the desire to do.
The issue of setting boundaries with people will come up time and time again if you don't take care of it now. I think that there's no way around this one but finding a way of getting them off your back. The truth is that IT IS WORSE IF YOU ACTUALLY DO AS THEY TELL YOU. If you don't set a boundary now, they will get used to having you do things their way. As uncomfortable as that feels, look for a way to keep them at bay. Trust me, I know how it feels to have those people around you trying to have you make decisions that THEY will not have to face consequences of.
I would like to stop altogether because I now feel like a hyprocrite. But I know it would do more harm than good so my plan is to take decisitions step by step. I'm planning to quit pioneering in 4-5 months and then move to another congregation as the one I'm attending now is very small and I have a lot of pressure on me to do a lot of things and it's hard even to miss one meeting!
As good as it is to just leave, I don't think it's in your best interest to do so. Your plan looks good, but I'd suggest to not time your fading. Let the fade happen gradually as it's important that it happens right, not necessarily fast and abrupt.
You are not the only one facing this, and know that there are a lot of people here who truly know where you come from because we have been through the same. I hope my long post helps.