CyberSex (page 4)

proplog2

I made a mistake before. "Monogamy" controls male aggression. Marriage is just a legal arrangement. It's primary intent was to protect property. If you don't plan to have kids or transfer property why marry. Just let your yes mean yes. If a woman and man stay together long enough the state grants them the same property rights as a marriage.

Beyond that any two people who live or work together have numerous transactions that define the relationship. It goes without saying that the relationship that RESULTS from a marriage agreement can take any shape or form agreeable to both. When they don't agree anymore on something big or on a lot of little things either of them may decide to end the relationship.

Cyber-sex on top of a lot of other discontents might be the straw that breaks the camels back.

proplog2

Spreading one's seed if you're a male is a structural arrangement. Nature doesn't grant you the luxury of thinking about it. You grow up with a "poker" attached to the front of your body - so you look for something to "poke".

You can fight your desire to eat too. Anorexia? But it's not natural. When I eat I don't think "I have to eat so I can rebuild my tissues and keep my blood sugar adequate". I just eat.

somebody

A female could turn around and say this too:

Marriage is an institution that controls female agression and renders her to become nothing more than a child bearing and rearing machine,and gives males a haven for their dirty underwear, and to have someone slave to their every whim.

peace,
somebody

JW72

If every time I felt horny, I f```ed someone, I would have about 689784785 children.

Deciding to have a child is an inteligent, conscious decision that should occur with a woman you truly love.

I'd like to add that sex is a decision that requires two peoples desire.
Not much instinctive about that.

Chris

expatbrit

Somebody:

gives males a haven for their dirty underwear, and to have someone slave to their every whim.

Yeeeaaahhhh!!!! Now we're cookin'!!

Expatbrit

somebody

lol@expat,

I can see why so many women become escapees from the "institution" after they finish rearing their children. No need for that kinda haven when the time has been served! 1 year and a 3 months left and I'll have my independence day. But whose counting?

I'm bowing out of this thread now. I don't suppose I'm helping DreamMaster at all.

peace,
somebody

peaceloveharmony

chris, i just wanted to welcome you to the 21st century, where in developed lands, birth control is readily available

"Power doesn't mean you're acting like a man, or you're a bully or a bitch. It's that you don't let people step on you"
-Sharon Monplaisir

safe4kids

Harmony,

My hat's off to ya girl...I think you hit the nail on the head (er, uh, hmmmm....), but then you so often do

Dreammaster,
When I first read your post, the violation of your wife's privacy was the first thing that jumped out at me. I would not be in a relationship with a man I couldn't trust to respect my privacy...and I can say that with certainty as I WAS in a marriage where that occurred. I understand that you must be hurt right now but as has already been mentioned, this is but a SYMPTOM, it is not the real problem in your marriage. I echo what the others have said: a good marriage counselor could make a world of difference in your marriage. I wish the best for you and your wife.
Expat: glad to see you back in the saddle ...you always make me laugh!

Dana

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Had Enough

Hello DreamMaster:

To me, trust is a very vital part of a successful marriage. Trust means being comfortable and sure of your partners love and interest.

To me, trust does not allow for any sexual interest in anyone other than your own mate.

Cybersex and looking at porn pictures are both avenues of fantasizing about other partners and to me, that does not promote trust. Fantasizing about other partners to me is a sign that one or both are not happy with the other. I cannot see either of these activities as having any positive affect on a marriage. I only know how I would feel if my husband fantasized with porn pictures and how he would feel if I was having cybersex with some stranger....devastated and betrayed for both of us.

Of course I realize, that everyone has their own comfort zone about marriage, but the fact that her cybersex bothers you, then perhaps a heart to heart with your wife will reveal why she finds this so appealing. Perhaps your viewing porn pictures tells her you're not totally interested in and commited to her.

Finding out what's wrong is obviously only going to come from honest dialog between you two and an honest commitment to being there for each other, not with other strangers invading your bedroom via the net and porn pictures.

Just my pennies worth.

Had Enough

PS: Welcome to the board...I hope we can help in some way

goo

teejay - good point - if the relationship isn't open - why bother entering? - i sure as hell don't.

goo.

CyberSex

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