A Newbie Comment...... (page 2)

seeitallclearlynow

Hi Nan,

Welcome to the forum! It's so true, how the sound of reason falls on "our" deaf ears for so long, till we are ready to listen. I hope your daughter in law and son are ready soon.

It's so interesting, isn't it, that the rank and file JW''s would be disfellowshipped or announced disassociated if any of us overstepped any of the 100's of rules and laws laid down by the Governing Body, not even allowed to join the YMCA, for instance, just to use the pool or other facilities, since a lot of us are naturally strapped financially due to the lack of education that is encouraged and other burdens placed on us by the Society, but the Governing Body/Watchtower Society can join and support the U.N. for 10 years, compromising just to supposedly get a library card? That is a huge compromise, being part of what THEY loudly declare to be a filthy wild beast!

And they disfellowship people for simply speaking up about child abuse? What an unclean organization.

Well, take care, hang around; I for one look very much forward to hearing from you often.

Sentinel

Hello Nan,

How wonderful that you found this site and are receiving help through the posts here. I know how heartbreaking it is, when children make decisions that we know will cause them pain in the long run. Alas, all we can do is try to show them love and compassion. You are in a good position to be able to converse with him--to help him to see how cultish the JW's are and how potentially damaging this type of life choice can be.

But, even with all your good intentions, you will have to let go and let him make his own decisions. It's hard to do that, I know, but if you protest too much against the JW's, he may be even drawn further into it. He must love his wife very much.

/<

Nan

Hello again!

Thanks to all of you for your kind welcome! It's wonderful to have this forum for help, advice, etc. You are absolutely right about NOT arguing with them. It's like the more you try to "grapple them to the ground" to see it your way, the more they'll cling to their beliefs. We love both of them very much, and try to not make a huge issue of it. But when the opportunity arises, I take advantage of it.

I JUST got off the phone with our son and had an amazing conversation with him! He called to see if we wanted to come hear a Curcuit Overseer's talk at their KH. To make a loooong story short, he has agreed to read some stories from ex-JWs that I've found on the net. I asked him, "Doesn't it make sense to hear an ex-JW's side of the story? After all, THEY HAVE BEEN THERE....THEY HAVE LIVED IT and know what they're talking about." He agreed. HALELUJAH! So, we'll see what happens.....

Thank you all again,

Nan :o)

CountryGuy

Welcome to the Board, Nan!

The folks here are a great source of support! I hope you get out of it everything you need to free your son and his wife from the WTBS.

CountryGuy

(Oh, and I hope you stick around a while. It's nice to have another Arkie on the board.)

wednesday

Nan, welcome and i'm so happy your son is willing to read, hope his new wife does not tell him that all the jws are apostate liars and u can't belive anything we say, or the WTS has warned us not to read apostate literature on the net, or some version of this. She could and i hope your son will not buckle under for her sake. B/c once he reads abut them, he'll not feel the same. Some many stories, and so compeling. When i was an active jw, i used

to wonder,"why are all these people leaving and why do they hate us so much?" But it was forbidden to read anything about it. So only after i left did i learn about all the lies . I left mostly bc they are cold blooded and heartless with their fmailies and to each other.They break up many families.

Beans

Here's a great site that shows haow they have contradicted themselves in there own literature!

http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

Welcome, and I hope it helps!

Beans

cruzanheart

Welcome, Nan! I'm glad you're finding the forum useful, and I hope your son will listen to reason. As for your DIL, hang in there and remember the old adage about catching more flies with honey than vinegar. It is tempting to dump everything on her to prove her wrong, but give her a little space and credit for brains and faith that she will see this religion for the sham it is for herself. In the meantime, please know that she will be under great pressure to distance herself from everyone who is NOT a Jehovah's Witness, so just continue to be sweet and loving as I'm sure you are by your picture! Your consistency will go a long way to proving the Witnesses wrong.

I was raised a Witness and once I left I was amazed at how genuinely loving my neighbors, workmates, and sometimes total strangers were now that I didn't have the veil of "them and us" on me. Words like "now, [DIL], you know I don't act like that" will help her stay grounded in what is real as the Witnesses try to indoctrinate her to treat all others like untouchables.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Nina

dustyb

btw nan, if you argue with them and you get nowhere, you are arguing with them wrong =D dont' use things that go against their teachings. use their own ideas and experiences and such. sometimes if they open up to questioning, search this site and ask them a few basic questions (none to set off the alert signal in their heads). its a long and difficult process, but behind every JW there is a good person =D (minus Ted Jaracz, he's just another Rutherford). btw, if they keep on saying that you can't change them, ignore it and keep on slowly persisting. a little pressure every day makes an impression, whereas a lot of pressure all at once doesn't do shit.

simplesally

Welcome Nan!!!!!!!!!

If you refute them, you are persecuting them. They will see this persecution as validation that they have the truth...........after all, were you persecuted for becoming a christian???????? This is what they ask.

Play dumb, be subtle. Are you a bible reader already.............if not, start............this will help in casual conversations, because if you are not then anytime you bring up the bible, they will be ready to defend.

houdini

Sorry to hear about you Daughter in law being dragged into the JW clutches. It will be hard to get her out at this moment in time I feel, whilst her faith is still strong and still has that zeal for the "truth", and she will have many people in the congregation trying to support her, being new. I speak from personal experience here of almost being dragged in myself.

I spent 3 years studing with them, going of field service and street work, handing out watchtowers and awakes left right and centre. I was supported be the whole congregation and enfolded in their arms as they tried to suck me in to the centre of their flock.

But keep chipping away whilst that strength is not fully built up yet and she is not as resitant to you subtle arguments. Keep sowing the seeds of doubt in her. It's good that your son isn't a JW as that will help, but he has to be careful that he doesn't get dragged along to support his wife's beliefs, because they are taught to prey on family members.

I JUST got off the phone with our son and had an amazing conversation with him! He called to see if we wanted to come hear a Curcuit Overseer's talk at their KH. To make a loooong story short, he has agreed to read some stories from ex-JWs that I've found on the net. I asked him, "Doesn't it make sense to hear an ex-JW's side of the story? After all, THEY HAVE BEEN THERE....THEY HAVE LIVED IT and know what they're talking about." He agreed. HALELUJAH! So, we'll see what happens.....

Soon as they realize what he is saying the ushers will probably drag him off the platform,or if they let him continue then the P.O. will be striaght back on with many tales of ones who have fallen by the wayside, probably made up, or how they have joyfully come back into the loving arms of their brothers and sisters

They can't have him expounding the virtues of being an ex JW and having a good time and being in a successful life. According to JW's all disfellowshipped ones, fall either into drug's, prostitution, money problems etc...

Play dumb, be subtle. Are you a bible reader already.............if not, start............this will help in casual conversations, because if you are not then anytime you bring up the bible, they will be ready to defend.

Simplesally

This is good advice even though you may not believe in the bible, if you know it, you can use it against them and get them thinking. They'll come up with the usual excuse of "I'm not to clear on the subject, I'll do some research and get back to you." or "I'm not familiar with that scripture" They rarely do, it's the JW way of getting out of a tricky situation. They don't like to think that there are people who know the bible better than they do.

dont' use things that go against their teachings. use their own ideas and experiences and such

Dustyb

This is how JW try to "convert" people to their beliefs as well so they know all about it. when on bible studies and field service they are told to find out something what beliefs they have in common and build them up first before going against well held beliefs. If you try to knock away their support in one go it will just make them put two in it's place. You have to replace that support first before you knock the original one away

Houdini

A Newbie Comment......

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