The Elder's Boy's Club

by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  Minimus..............you put into words exactly what it means to be an elder. It is truley disgusting what those men get away with. It always amazed me how the R&F had to be soooooooo fearful of gossip or slander, but elders..........................................

  You can sit around with other grown men and "legally gossip"

  If a fellow "Boy's Club" member has some juicy gossip that he's heard about another member of the congregation, he must tell the entire "Boy's Club" so that everyone can get in on the allegations.

  UNLESS....................the incident is so true and revolting, or the person who has done something REALLY bad is related to another elder or MS, then the elders who have been informed of the incident (like when we informed 2 elders of my kid's sexual abuse by a MS's fleshly brother) may choose to keep it 'between themselves' so that the pedophile and his family don't suffer more than necessary.

  It can make an elder feel very, very important

  Is this another form of 'small man syndrome' like needing to compensate for a small ????????????????????? because most of the young elders I've ever met had ego and esteem issues.

  Power = abuse.

  Good post Minimus.

  Cheers, Bliss
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  Minimus: how was it when you were an elder?

  I mean, did you find it difficult or ... hmm ... how shall I say it? Disgusting?

  I can't imagine how it must have been, thinking you were doing the 'right' thing in *J's* eyes, but inside feeling a sense of consternation.

  Just curious Minimus.

  Good question.
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  minimus

  Ray, I typed in a big answer only to have it not come out....Here's the bottom line. When I was a young elder, I thought I was being used to "help" the cong. I applied myself dilligently. Eventually, I started to se there's a lot of politics in God's organization but went along, thinking I was doing whatever for Jehovah God. Eventually, you see babies and brats that are elders who are in it for prestige and power. When I was younger, I was no different BUT I got to see that so much is bullsh+t. After a while, I HATED making judgments about everyone's face, attitudes or thoughts. It became revolting. The last few years I tried to HELP and COMFORT people rather than always feel the need to "counsel" them. When you are the minority (and well respected) you know when it's tme to find a way out......And I'm very happy now!
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  FlyingHighNow

  The last few years I tried to HELP and COMFORT people rather than always feel the need to "counsel" them. Minimus

  And to think a lot of us thought this was what elders were supposed to be doing.

  Heather
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  minimus

  Most elders don't know HOW to comfort people. How can you comfort someone when you're trained to only follow "theocratic rules"?
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  metatron

  And the Elder's Boy's Club situation is going to get worse, because , increasingly, the Society is depending on it

  locally to hold everything together, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. ...... and we don't disfellowship people for being 'whistleblowers'

  we df'd them for causing division blah, blah, blah.

  When a brother is being considered as an elder, what does the C.O. ask?

  Something like, "Can this brother work with the body?" or "Will he fit in?"

  They don't want mavericks or loose cannons screwing things up. They want a "stand-up guy",

  a man who "gets along" because he "goes along". If anyone tells you different, don't give it any credence.

  It's the company men who survive in Watchtower-land.

  metatron
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  Doubtfully Yours

  It's a power trip.

  DY
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  undercover

  When a brother is being considered as an elder, what does the C.O. ask?

  Something like, "Can this brother work with the body?" or "Will he fit in?"

  They don't want mavericks or loose cannons screwing things up. They want a "stand-up guy",

  a man who "gets along" because he "goes along". If anyone tells you different, don't give it any credence.

  It's the company men who survive in Watchtower-land.

  I've heard elders talk about MSs the same way. They say they are looking for MSs that "follow the system" or "work with the elder body".

  I've known a few independant thinkers amongst the elders over the years. Most ended up burning out, resigning or being removed for one reason or another. I've known a couple that knew what battle to fight, what battles to not get caught up in and were basically good guys trying to do their best. I've known some good elders, men who were merciful, caring, comforting. I've known elders that were real assholes, power hungry, hatefule, vengeful. The vast majority though, were just guys doing a job, not really good at it, but not really bad men either. Those are the ones that just "goes along" with everything and are the company men the corporation needs.
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  minimus

  The COs want someone they can tell what to do. If you have a Maverick or Gumby on board, forgetaboutit.
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  franklin J

  this is so true. The Elders " boys club" was very obvious in the Huntington New York congregation where I grew up.

  After we were all out, my dad who was an Elder, had a lot of talking to do. It seems he knew the "dirt" on just abvout everyone. Really good dirt.

  We had some really good laughs!