Once I realized they were just another religion, it all became so clear to me. They are not the only channel to God and now i know that. I feel much more at ease about that. Realizing that happened as a result of reading stuff on this board. Also, my hubby finally said that too.
I am tryijng to read COC, but it is a hard read. I have trouble concentrating, and it is so detailed. Sometimes so much detail, that it annoys me. I did much better reading "The battle for God" by Karen Armstrong. She really helped me see that jws are just a product of the time period they started in (turn of century start up religions). There were many similar religions of the same time period, all looking for lthe big A. All with similar beliefs. CT Russel was no more inspired than anyone. also the legalistic trend the WTS has taken helped me decide. They are run by lawyers. There is nothing they cannot justify wikth the help of lawyers.
coupled this with the lack of love and actual cold blooded heartless treatment our family has received, and it was not really a hard decision.