I am in serious need of some direction. For those of you are df'd and have children in the borg, I am going through a crisis.
I have two daughters 19 and 17 years of age and I was privileged to have met with them last night for about an hour. I haven't seen them for about 7 months, and was able to convince them to meet with me. I labeled it 'necessary family business'. We have some healing to do since I am divorced and they are taking the brunt of this. I feel horrible about the fact that their lives are upheaveled, and I know they are hurting as well. Divorce has a major impact on children, and I hurt with them. The thing that is most painful is the fact that I am df'd and they are indoctrinated with their beliefs from the organization. Since I am df'd, the organization labels me as a bad person, that you cannot have contact with. Out of respect for their conscienses, I have not forced the issue of visitation. I feel that I need to be careful not to make them feel uncomfortable. But I am not df'd from my children, and I am not divorced from them.
I need to help them to repair the broken family relationship, and since it will never be the same as they were accustumed to, we need to rebuild on what we currently have. Since I have limited visits, what can I do to repair that? They feel there is no repairing, unless I get reinstated, and therefore don't really care to visit with me. This is not my intention, since I know too much about all that I have learned about the borg, and feel betrayed. How can I help them to see that though I am df'd, I am still their father and we cannot let stand in their way, the conditions about reinstatement. I know they miss me, and they want a father in their lives.
I miss them, and I don't want a chasm in our lives, just because I have a different understanding regarding my beliefs. I also respect theirs and don't want to shatter their beliefs, with what I have found out. What have some of you done in this regard? What suggestions can you give me? What have you found to be effective?
Can you please give me some direction? This is all new to me.