I was a good kid because I was raised by Bible Principles

by Nosferatu 31 Replies latest jw experiences

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  one_ugly_time

  i'm beginning to think we had the same parents ???

  You did... They are names WTBTS (mother) and JEHOVAH (father) !

  Nos -- You conveyed life as it really was. I haven't even made that much progress in my healing. Sitting alone during Xmas carols, being put aside during art, and now, vaguely remembering the painful Valentines day's. Unfortunately, I created an invisible friend much younger in life, and went inside myself well before the 4th grade... School was mandatory and school was punishment !

  I recently ran into a current JW who moved to the area, from Bethel (since his wife got pregnent). I talked to him briefly as I would anyone else I just met and immediately realized I was dealing with a JW. I was really taken back by his lack of social skills, his totally detached demeanor, and his boyish grin (he is 36 years old). It disturbed me alot, realizing that I was looking in a mirror of sorts, although, like you, I am aware now and am creating myself -- this much I feel good about.

  What disturbed me the most was when I was driving home after talking to him for about 10 minutes. Even though every conversation went toward literature and serving the needs of others, I did listen quite intently as to who was behind the mask. He reads, in Russian (we are in the US), one of the bible story books every night to his wifes stomach. His wife speaks fluent German and he is studying Russian. He seems altogether intellectually, and, I tend to agree with the unborn learning through osmosis and through the thoughts and feelings of the mother...

  However, now, I start processing everything I heard... an mini-ephinany for me... This newborn has no one, NO ONE, in the world to turn to for nurturance, trust, beliefs, guidance, warmth, stability... He has NO FRAME OF REFERENCE except his JW parents and the JW people that they visit with... I got to thinking about what a "normal" childhood would be like... Friends of different ethinc backgrounds, different religions, different sexual orientation, different social status', in other words, differences.... something to build and integrate a self, a FRAME OF REFERENCE... My heart goes out to this little one, as it probably does to my inner child right now, knowing what he is going to experience and have to deal with.

  Nos, congratulations and the warmest cyberhug I can give you. The work you have done is not easy, and not for the faint of heart. Thanks for sharing.

  ugly
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  Mulan

  Being a good parent has nothing to do with religion. It wouldn't matter which religion they were, if your parents still raised you with the same expectations of not drinking or smoking underage, and behaving ethically and morally. There are lots of normal kids who behave, just as there are Witness kids who behave.

  Excellent, concerned mama.

  I was raised as a JW and was a good kid too, but my brother was a hellion. When he was about 19, he got serious and became a loyal dub for about 16 years until his wife and baby died. Then he bolted, blamed them for his wife's death (no blood for her) and never looked back. I didn't talk to him for 15 years. I have that as my biggest regret in life.

  We raised 4 children with Bible principles, and 3 of them were ideal kids, but our second child was a hellion, continually getting in trouble, smoked, did drugs, df'd at 17 and again at 22. Now he is a responsible husband and father and business partner with his Dad and older brother. (now age 37) He did get reinstated to be with the family, but we were all out of the WTS about 3 years later, so it didn't really matter.

  I tend to think that people are greatly influenced by their genetic makeup, and possibly by their birth order. Our troubled son was technically a middle child, and always trying to stir things up................possibly for attention, or maybe it was just his more agressive personality. The other three kids are mild tempered, and tried hard to be good. The other son just had to "get things going". He was a great kid though, and definitely livened up our house. He was a great athlete, tall and big, so wanted desperately to participate in sports, so I know he was frustrated at that being a big "no". Many things contributed, including his great intelligence, whereby he saw many flaws in the JW's that it took us many more years to become aware of.