by ScoobySnax 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScoobySnax

    I don't think despite all my ups and downs, my worries, my insecurites, my trying to live life apart from that I really in my heart of hearts know to be right, that I could ever really lose my love for Jehovah. I just can't forget that what I once learnt. It can't be undone. Its hardwired into my psyche.

    Jehovahs Witness? Oh I think I'm that too. I agree with what they teach, I really do believe that above all they really do have the right way. The Truth. The true Religion.

    JW? No of course I'm not. I fail miserably. I don't reach the standards to be counted amongst the numbers. Your convictions here are just as strong albeit in reverse to mine. You once felt as I did, I'm not sure I'll ever feel as you do. The only thing that remains is an empathy in that I try to understand you. I don't feel I'll ever "be" you. I don't think you'll ever know me.

    My Interest, becomes yours too. Your interests, mine. You're hurt. I'm hurt too.. A collective brings strength. What about those caught in between?

  • cruzanheart

    Scooby, my heart goes out to you -- I was once where you were. I achieved peace when I decided that just because the Witnesses didn't think I measured up to their standards I wasn't a bad person or condemned at Armageddon. From what I saw in the congregations, THEY fell way short of MY standards for acceptable behavior according to what I read in the Bible. I also realized that if living forever meant being with those kind of people, then I would enjoy every minute of every day that I have right now and make the most of it, and leave the rest to God. I just can't believe that the Creator who made basset hounds -- lovable, humorous, sloppy old things that they are -- would look at me trying my best and find me unacceptable in His eyes.

    So, to put it in a completely self-centered way, since I (and all of the people on this board and probably quite a few not on this board) like you, ScoobySnax, then Jehovah must like you too. SO THERE!!! But you'll have to like you too to make it work.


  • minimus

    Scooby, would you mind explaining your "Jehovahs Witness" comment and "JW" comment. I think I'm misunderstanding.

  • ScoobySnax

    Sometimes you post and read back. I'm probably not in the right frame of mind to post tonight. I don't want to offend.

    I feel angry tonight for so many reasons, some which I can't articulate, and that probably comes out in my posts. I'm angry that I feel the way I do. I don't want to be caught up sometimes in some cosmic battle. I just want to be me. I don't want to feel guilty. I don't want to feel bad. Mostly I don't want to be caught up in the middle.

    I feel so angry. Why?

  • ScoobySnax


    "Jehovahs Witness" is sometimes abbreviated to JW...........conversely

    "JW is mostly abbrieviated to mean Jehovahs Witness(es)......"

    Hope that clears it up

    It must be rough coming on here of all forums and not understanding.

  • ScoobySnax

    Minimus (cont.....)

    Unless of course you meant the difference between actually "doing" or "believing" in the JW context.......

  • myself

    Scooby, you've been through a lot, and you are being probably the hardest on yourself. I come in and check threads a little, but I don't post as much as I did a while back, a lot of it is a time factor in my life right now. I needed a break, but I like to at least check in. I will take the time at least by this weekend and email you. I love Jehovah/God too, but I found that after I left an organization that I learned to love him from my heart , a love that is not based on fear. I don't base that love on a reward system. I was not your typical JW, oh I had somewhat of the mindset that came with it, but deep in my heart I couldn't rationalize the judgement that was thrown on others.

    Sometimes we can't pinpoint what we are angry at, at least not right at that moment, but you will sort it out. Likely it is more then one thing, and anger may not really be the ruling emotion. Hang in there!


  • minimus

    You think you're a "Jehovahs Witness" but not a "JW"??? I still don't getcha.

  • Dawn


    I think that Jesus himself has said exactly what you need to hear.

    John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

    You don't feel that you measure up to the JW standards - we all have felt that way. But you don't have to measure up - just come to Jesus and let him do the work for you. He promises that whomever comes to him he will not drive away - so you see, you don't have to "measure up" - you just have to go to him. Pray to God and ask him to send Jesus into your life. I did - and it has changed my life incredibly. PM me if you want to talk about this more - I don't want to hijack your thread here.

  • Blueblades

    Scooby,the very reason that you feel torn and in the middle demonstrates that you have a good heart.Right now you are in pain of heart.I too am in the middle of all this with pain of heart.

    I differ with you on jw's having the truth which they glean from a controversial book.However the God idea is open to discussion and each one of us has an entitlement to our beliefs and opinions.I have always felt that it all comes down to a belief system or a very personal experience with God,Jesus,Spirit or something within that awakens a person to what they come to accept as a reality.

    For me that has not been the case yet,so I linger in the middle ground for now.With you in spirit.


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