GaryB,
The way you have been treated, including what happened to your first wife, is nothing short of barbaric and it truly makes me sick that 'mature' people can act this way. I am certainly not trying to make light of any of it. I think these people should be brought to justice for their actions. Maybe, if there is a just God somewhere, justice will prevail in the end, at least I hope so, because people like that need to have their noses rubbed in their dirty deeds....sorry....I am ranting and rambling now. However, I am speaking from my own experience.
As a 'faithful' JW (as faithful as I could be, 'cos I always felt uneasy) two of my grown up children were DFd. Did I shun them? Did I heck-as-like! They are my flesh and blood. I brought them into this world and I love them UNCONDITIONALLY. They were treated unjustly and I voiced my disgust VERY LOUDLY. Nobody could ever come between us - they mean too much to me. I don't understand partners, parents, children, siblings etc who can let an organisation tell them how to treat their own flesh and blood. The elders all knew how I felt and what my views were on this and marked me. Did I care? No! If my husband had left me for another woman and been DFd, would I have prevented him from seeing his children? No! I am not still at school and I do not behave like a schoolchild. I like to think I am mature enough to be able to separate what goes on between me and my husband and between my husband and my children. Many, many JWs feel the same way. What I am trying to say is, as an active JW, you would have tarred me with the same brush and viewed me as evil, yet I would never have done the things that your family have done to you. I am not so stupid as to let an organisation have complete control of my mind and my life. I can recognise when something is morally wrong - I don't need a list of rules or regulations to refer to - I just know it in my heart. Many other JWs feel the same way - we are not all evil.
I no longer want anything to do with the WTS because it is a cruel organisation run by a bunch of tossers. But that does not mean I think all JWs are evil. Many of these people will one day come to their senses too and find the truth and be set free. It is the cretins at the top that do most damage.
I live in hope that my husband will see the light one day, but knowing him as I do, I doubt it very much and it breaks my heart. I am ignored by many JWs I meet in the street, even though I am not DFd or DAd. I have had slanderous accusations made against me and I am often the subject of petty gossip, but I don't blame everyone in the KH. There are a handful who still talk to me and treat me like a human being. I judge everyone individually - I don't judge them all as a group. Just because some JWs choose to treat me badly, it doesn't mean I think they are all bad.
I am so sorry for what has happened to you and I know words are pretty meaningless in a situation like this. I don't really know what else to say. Please don't think I am trying to trivialise what you have been through, because I'm not. You come across as a fine man and I think your family are completely mad to want to cut you off. If I had been your wife, I would never have treated you like this and cut you off from your children, whether I was an active JW or not.
The Grudge - many people have said you shouldn't have children until everything is settled. I agree with that. If you think things are hard now, imagine what it would be like if children were involved. I hope so much that you can sort this out and live happily with your wife. It is so horrible to be living in a home where one partner is obsessed with a culty religion, and I should know. You are in my thoughts - as are all those out there who are in a similar position.
Sorry if I offended anyone.
Terri
