by The Grudge 45 Replies latest jw experiences
Grudge, SM62 gave you some good advice. And a few others to remember and to remind MrsGrudge about, that as head of the household you are the one who prays at meals or who reads aloud from the Bible. She cannot complain about those things. Do lots of non-JW stuff, she will be able to use you as an excuse for missing meetings.
But eventually there may be a split. I hope you don't have children by then. I think you should also rememeber that there will probably be more than one love in your life.
I would not let a practicing Witness within 1,000 miles of my children. No mothers, no fathers, no grandparents, no brothers, no sister, no aunts, no uncles, no Witnesses near my family especially the children. They are a living breathing smiling evil. GaryB
GaryB,
I am so sad that these heartless people have made you feel this way. But you know, JWs don't have the monopoly on using children to hurt their partners.
I would never, ever use my children as pawns in a battle of wills with my husband. I don't understand it when I hear about marriage break-ups where the woman gets custody, and she then prevents the father from seeing the childen, or even worse, starts to poision their minds. I'm not talking about cases where the father may have been violent (which is a very small amount of cases) - I mean where the marriage has broken up for whatever reason and, at least in this country, the woman usually gets custody of the children. I have heard of so many sad cases where not only is the father prevented from seeing the children, but also the grandparents on the father's side. All I can say is, women who do this (and it is usually women - no matter how hard some of you may find it to accept that, because father's still very very rarely get custody of the children) are shameful and disgusting. If my husband cheated on me with 1000 different women, I still would never prevent him seeing his children. What goes on between husband and wife is one thing, but there is NEVER any justification for dragging children into it (and again, I am not talking about cases where the man was violent). There is a group in this country called (I think) Children Need Fathers (or something like that) and it came about because of exactly the same sort of situation you have been through with your children. It isn't just JWs that do this, you know.
GaryB, please don't think all JWs are a living, breathing, smiling evil. Don't let these people twist your mind. To be honest, I think your wife would have been like this even if she hadn't been a JW. I mean, I don't think any differently now to the way I thought as a JW. I wouldn't have poisoned my children's mind against their father if he had stopped going to meetings before me. As it is, he is a staunch JW and I don't think he will ever change, but that is something I have to learn to live with. I think that the way you have been treated by your family is heartbreaking and it makes my blood boil, but please don't tar all JWs with the same brush. There are some really decent people in my congregation - misguided but decent, good people. They would never condone what has been done to you and they would feel exactly the way I feel about the sanctimonious hypocrites that have done this.
I hope you don't mind me butting in like this - it is well meant.
Terri
Hey Terri, I am always open to friendly butting (especially since I am taking up bandwidth on somebody else's thread:-)
Witnesses here have treated me in the worst possible way. I write, "They are a living breathing smiling evil.", not as opinion, but as fact based on my own personal experience. People representing the Witnesses came into my home as my guest and induced two of my sons to shun and snub me. For that, they have earned my contempt and what they have done is unforgivable. Anyone associating with them are accomplices.
I'm have not even been writing about Witness fraud and misrepresentation and dishonest recruiting practices, or their deadly blood medical treatment guidelines here yet, something I am quite qualified to do.
These people convinced my first wife to refuse chemo treatment for leukemia. Do you have any idea what that means? That's evil to the core. She died from suffocation from not having enough red cells in her blood to carry oxygen. A series of transfusions would have supported the chemo that could have dramatically lengthened her life. When she was fighting for every hour of life, a transfusion could have given her weeks or months of bearable life. The Witness people convinced her to choose an unbearable death over a bearable life. Her name was Delores and she was 26.
{{{ Tight hugs Gary }}} Many, many of us DO relate and understand fully where you are coming from in stating these facts re: your life experience with the tower and it's corrupt, evil leaders and LETHAL policy makers. Rest assured my friend.
Now then, DocBob was just in yahoo chat. I told him you stop by at times and that we made mincemeat of one proclaimed Bethelite there the first day you logged in. lololol Remember? ( It still amazes me that most jws do not know the name of the leaders of the tower that governs their very soul)
I suggested he add you to his friends list to buzz you.
Take good care guys, sKally
Welcome to the board Grudge. There is a web site by a man who was in a similar situation. He was never a JW but she was and he succesfully helped her leave. His name is Paul Kevin.
http://www.welcome.to/witnesscd
Devon
Hey sf, The great Dr Bob! Any Witness that runs up against him better know their own stuff. He'll hand em their head.
I have stopped back into that room but there have been a bunch of foul teens in there. I'll try again. I'll look for Bob. Thanks for telling me. GaryB
Hi Nadsam, Welcome! You posted maybe my favorite first post ever. Great post! I look forward to more. GaryB
Like the others here, I can deeply relate to your situation and dilemma. My advise to you is, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN UNTIL THIS IS COMPLETELY RESOLVED!!! That is unless you don't mind going from unhappiness to agony! Add to that having your heart RIPPED OUT when she walks out with the kids to 'protect their spirituality'!
yes, that is the main point, children. U and she may be able to work out some kind of relationship, but if she is allowed to raise the children as jws, u will lose them. It isn't something that might happen, it willl happpen.
WE ALL MUST BE MARRIED TO THE SAME(ORGANIZATION) WOMAN!!!
