A lurker no more! I have a question about exit counseling for ex-JWs

by True North 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hi again True NOrth

    I just wanted to post from the index in the back of that book under Jehovahs witnesses.

    Jehovah's Witnesses:

    -authoritatian leadership in

    -and behavior control

    -books about

    -case examples


    -"loaded language"

    -mini interaction ideas

    -phobia indoctrination


    Special K

  • Satanus


    I agree. Wt dogma can lie dormant in inactive jws or people who don't consider themselves to be jws anymore. They still need deprogramming. These ideas need to be hunted down, one at a time, and neutralised. Otherwise, they could sabotage some part of their lives, or if a disaster strikes, they could have flashbacks to them.

    If you find a therapist/exit counceler to do it, great. If not, you might be able to do it in a group setting. Just as a suggestion, lets say that you arranged for your kids to meet somewhere to discuss a wt doctrine which you had studied before hand and had collected information on. This info could include its history, it's basis, changes, secular facts related to it, etc. If there were a knowledgable xjw who already went through the process, having him/her present might be good. Just some thoughts.


  • garybuss

    I have been through a one day formal exit counseling along with my wife and one son. It was very helpful to me and we are still not Witnesses or involved in any other pyramid scams. GaryB

  • jgnat

    Yes, Lady Lee is an excellent resource. How far North are you? There is a support group in Edmonton, Alberta. If you are comfortable with the Christian angle.


  • acsot

    You have a pm (check by your name in the upper left hand corner and click on "Inbox")

  • True North
    True North

    I have to get to work now but I wanted to offer a quick thanks for all your comments. It really helps.

    Since I have other children still marching to the beat of the Watchtower drum, as is my wife, and since some of my children are still minors, I know that once I start to take some action, it's probably really going to hit the fan. After starting to wake up to what a lifetime of JW conditioning has done to my kids though, I know I have to press forward; however, I want my course to be well thought out and to not take rash action or speak hastily.

    To garybuss and cruzanheart, could you share any more about what your counseling covered and how it proceeded? But please, I understand that this might be very personal so, if you'd rather not go into any more detail, I'll understand and I won't even come close to being offended or bugged about it.

    To jgnat, thanks for the invite but I'm afraid that my current domicile is more southwest than north.

  • Strawberryfieldsforever

    Welcome True North!!!!!!!!

    I like the idea that was mentioned about having all meet in a group. I wish I would have had that option. You can talk about all the things that upset you or scare you or disgust you. You won't have any fear of anyone telling on you when you really spill out everything. It will bring out tears and laughter at times. Good luck with you all!


  • Scully

    Hello True North, and Welcome!

    Some of the best resources I have read regarding leaving spiritually abusive groups are:

    When God Becomes A Drug - by Fr. Leo Booth

    The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse - by David Johnson and Jeff Vanvonderen

    Tired of Trying to Measure Up - by Jeff Vanvonderen

    None of these books speaks directly about the JWs, but the reader is shown the characteristics of dangerous religious groups, how to identify them, and different strategies for getting out of them.

    Most of these books can be obtained either in a public library or by ordering them online.

    Love, Scully

  • NoMoreMeetings

    Welcome True North!

    Seek out a Christian Counselor at aacc.net

    Read In Search of Christian Freedom by Ray Franz, available at commentarypress.com

    I wish your family well.


  • Dogpatch

    Yes, most who leave cults need exit-counseling but rarely seek it. The brain is still laced with mine fields that can go off years later, and scare the bejesus out of others you love. Start by reading Steven Hassan's "Releasing the Bonds"


    and then seek help from a counselor who has had experience in this field. One has just gave me permission to post her article on my site that addresses the problem of a married couple with children who are out of a cult, but the cult is not out of them, at:


    Randy Watters

    Net Soup!


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